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  1. #1

    Default Friends(?) with benefits.

    My wife and I got into the lifestyle recently, about last six months. We did a ton of research. Actually, this forum helped to answer many questions we had before we ultimately decided to jump in.
    Jump in we did.
    We made a couple of profiles on free sites, and began talking to some couples online. At first, we really didn't know what we wanted, other than to spice up our sex lives. The first couple we spoke with, in hindsight, was pretty aggressive. I won't go into details, but we ended up hooking up with them on a first date after a few weeks of very flirtatious chatting. They ended up being a little too different from us.
    After a couple of other dates with different couples, we realized that we were looking for friends with benefits. I mean, we're not club people, and sex parties never sounded appealing to us, but we still wanted to bang other couples together! The only other couple we've hooked up with since we got into the lifestyle, seem to be what we were looking for. We made a good first impression, and on the second date, we made it to the bedroom with them. It started a little rough, and not in a good way. I had some performance issues the first time with her, but those have since been resolved. We chat with them on a regular basis(several days per week), and we've seen them several times since our first vanilla meeting. My wife and I, are looking forward to continuing to build our relationship with these two. They are good people, and I'm happy to call them friends. Friends that have a good time together on a king size bed, banging each other's spouses! All that said, I don't know how big of a part we will play in this couple's lives, but we're going to ride the wave till the end.
    Why not, it'll be fun while it lasts!

  2. #2

    Default Re: Friends(?) with benefits.

    Congratulations! You have clearly described a common pathway in the LS.

    From the outside looking in (aka vanillas, interesteds, just about to dip the toe, breathless reporters,.. )the LS is all about sex. That's what is talked about, envied, disparaged, ...

    From the inside looking out, the LS is all about your primary relationship with your spouse or S/O, and how that journey unfolds.

    For a few in the LS, it really is "all about sex".

    For many others, it is about building relationships with like-minded couples. The friendship piece really does matter. Trust, intimacy, honesty in a space where no one is embarrassed to be having fun\. Compare that to the issues of ordinary life.

  3. #3
    Swingers Board Addict adamgunn's Avatar
    SLS Profile

    Default Re: Friends(?) with benefits.

    Congratulations. You've found a great way to begin your LifeStyle journey. Enjoy it.

    You seem to understand one of the axioms, that things always change. When they do - you may decide to try out other fantasies, or relationship with the couple you've found may change - be open to that as well.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Friends(?) with benefits.

    I value my friendships. There's always that thought in the back of my mind that they will get bored and want to move on. That aspect of this is a bummer. Like I wrote before though, it's fun, and it will be while it lasts!

  5. #5

    Default Re: Friends(?) with benefits.

    This couple didn't end up working out with us. We found a new couple not long after I posted this thread. They are amazing people, and it's turned into so much more than swinging. We met them for the first time, alittle over a month ago, and connected with then instantly. It's been intense! We've spent time with them every weekend since we started chatting, and even took a roadtrip to Galveston last weekend. We were sure we wanted friends with benefits, but we've all come to the conclusion that this is a poly relationship. It's not what we were looking for, but it's what we found, and it's wonderful!

  6. #6

    Default Re: Friends(?) with benefits.

    wow (I know not a very civilized expression, but it's what came to mind).
    Starting to look just for fun but finding a lot more.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Friends(?) with benefits.

    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  8. #8

    Default Re: Friends(?) with benefits.

    This relationship with this couple is growing into something quite amazing. We've spent time with them every weekend since the first weekend we met them. It's become so much more than swinging, and all four of us are completely on the same page!

  9. #9

    Default Re: Friends(?) with benefits.

    Update: We are still with this couple, and we have fallen for them! It seems this sort of thing is rare! It's been a wild ride to this point, and we did hit a little bump in the road, but it's all good now. Next up is a trip to the mountains in Colorado!

  10. #10

    Default Re: Friends(?) with benefits.

    Keep the updates coming!
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  11. #11

    Default Re: Friends(?) with benefits.

    Lovely! Personally, my husband and I prefer to keep things more casual and more intermittent. We have a nice group of couples we've known for sometime (some longer than others) and have wonderful get togethers now and then with at least one, if not all, of them. It's great your's has developed into a poly relationship that you really enjoy and are comfortable with. I hope it continues to go well! By the way, I'm curious, is it strictly MF swapping?

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