Kissing too intimate?

We have set up a first meeting with a potential single guy for mfm. He has boasted about his penis size and kissing ability. At first I was intimidated by his cock size but after reading multiple posts in here I have calmed down about that. I have a problem with anyone kissing my wife other than me. From the neck down I'm fine with and actually quite excited about. Is this irrational? My wife is a smoker and knows how much I hate it. She is hesitant sometimes about deep kissing with me after she has had a cigarette which happens a lot right before we have sex. So we don't end up with a lot of kissing during sex. Don't like the vision in my head about another guy kissing my wife. Kissing to me seems more intimate with a deeper connection. I appreciate any input.

Share this feeling with your wife. That is imperative. Them the two of you need to decide from there.

If you are uncomfortable with her kissing she probably shouldn't. If you get over it and she wants too then OK. It is the conflict in between that will cause the problem.

Does she enjoy kissing and you don't because of the smoking? Does she know this? If so will she or will she not stop smoking? Are there other things such as teeth brushing, mints, mouthwash, etc that will solve the problem for you. I think this needs to be worked on first before the kissing of another come into play.

This is about the two of you and where you both land on the issue. I would suspect that she will end up kissing the guy if they get together, regardless of what the two of you decide because he claims to be good, it is part of his repertoire, he will instigate it and she may very well be caught up in the moment. If this,is,going to be an issue them I would suggest not meeting him.

Good luck on whatever BOTH of you decide.

I very much enjoy kissing. She is the one to be hesitant bc of the smoking. As for her stopping smoking that has been a long arduous road. I've given up on asking her to stop. I guess I can talk to her about not smoking before we have sex so we can add more kissing that would be a good idea. As for him initiating kissing her, I thought the bed rock principle of another party is to abide by our set rules. If I tell the guy I am not comfortable with him kissing her than shouldn't that be then end of conversation?

If I tell the guy I am not comfortable with him kissing her than shouldn't that be then end of conversation?

I would hope so. Just remember that to me kissing is such a part of the sex act that it may be so automated that it is easy to get caught up in the moment.

Now that I understand that it is your wife that is hesitant with you then I would expect her to easily resist the kissing temptation from the new guy as well for the very same reason as she does with you.

Maybe not such a big problem after all. You two talk about or and decide. Make your wishes known to him. See where it goes. Just don't let it crumble your relationship if it gets a little out of hand.

One other thing. Have a bail out phrase and rule. No matter what is going on if either partner uses the phrase everything stops immediately and the two of you leave together. Talk about it and resolve it. If there is trust between you, while it might be hard during the throes of passion, it will happen for you to discuss and resolve without creating more problems. Whatever the case may be you cannot let anything in the LS come between the two of you. You both must understand that and commit to it.

You aren't alone in feeling that kissing is too intimate, but many others feel that sex without kissing is nearly incomprehensible. So, it's something that will need to be worked out. Since many people, including us, find a no kissing rule to be an immediate deal killer, then you really need to be up front about this on your profile and then mention it again in person too when discussing the joint expectations and playtime rules and boundaries. Everyone is entitled to their rules, nothing wrong with having that rule at all, but when it's a biggee like this one, you just want to make extra sure everyone is on the same page from the very beginning.

As been alluded to, the reason it's a deal killer for us is that it would be so easy to inadvertently break in the heat of the moment, and we don't want to be the cause of them breaking rules and potentially having issues between them because of it. Added to that, for us personally, sex without kissing would just feel too disconnected and mechanical. We realize that's just us, not everyone may hold that opinion, but when you put those two factors together, it just seems to be a rather large stumbling block to have a really good fun and relaxed time.

I always get a kick out of this question. A woman can take a penis in her mouth, a man can spend a half our with his head buried between a woman's legs and even go to other regions. A couple can have sex over and over again but we get jealous over kissing. It is like I am saving that for my real lover. I understand the feeling and have been there but over time have found that kissing and sex go together. I have seen wives get upset when they see their husbands kissing a mouth, but they never flinched watching the other lips being licked and kissed. Feelings are real. You can not change how someone feels even if it is unfounded. Either you get used to it or you put a restriction on it. We do this because we are able to enjoy and trust. No matter what your SO says you can't take away jealous feelings but you are taking away part of the joy your other is having

I agree that kissing is a more intimate act than intercourse in my opinion. Kissing seems to bring out a more emotional connection whereas intercourse can be a purely physical experience. I think we all have experienced the feelings that kissing can bring. When he started kissing her they both began fucking each other with more passion. It was awesome to watch and hear but it made me feel uncomfortable. I got those feelings of jealousy and insecurity that I swore would never happen when I began to fantasize about doing it.

Kissing is the greatest.......would not consider a partner without kissing being involved

Not as experienced as most of you. Our introduction was in separate rooms and there couldn't be any jealousy. I had a night of love making not much different than if I was with my husband. Surely kissing was part of it. A tongue in my mouth is a lot less intimate than what else was in there. Swapping spit? Again more intimate things were deposited. Sex without kissing is like fries without ketchup. Can be good, but why not make it better.