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Thread: Reputations

  1. Back To Top | #26

    Default Re: Reputations

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fuse
    Am I missing something here? Was Chicup not being sarcastic? I thought his point was that to *not* warn someone about clear, impending danger was a *bad* thing. Obviously a rattlesnake encounter and a swinging encounter are very different, but I still think that was his point.
    Some of us early morning posters didn't quite see the sarcasm, myself included. What is plain to some was not as clear to others, obviously. I, upon several cups of coffee and a re-read, can see it a bit more now and I'm actually happy, because I spent a bit of my morning thinking, "what kind of asshole doesn't warn others about a rattlesnake while hiking?!?"

    Quote Originally Posted by Slevin
    Well, one difference is that anyones interaction with a rattle snake is going to turn out the same (unless you're Steve Irwin).
    Really? All who accidently come upon a rattlesnake will have the same outcome? I don't see the same outcome experienced by all, given the 7,000+ strikes reported a year* from snakes, versus those who encountered a snake and were not bitten (with the possible reaction being the difference), and then versus those who never stumbled upon one in the first place.

    Perhaps there is a more finite set of potential interactions, but not all interactions with snakes are the same any more than swinging interactions are the same. Regardless, as with the snake information, the failure to pass along relevant information in swinging could do nothing or cause illness or death, and all the options in between. Which, upon a re-read and coffee, and some helpful "sarcasm" interpreters, was likely his point in the first place.


    *Depending on whose stats you'd like to use (state reports, the FDA, health care self-reporting, etc.)
    I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available. A. Brilliant

  2. Back To Top | #27

    Default Re: Reputations

    We consider the source and the info being passed along. If someone is a drunk, hardcore druggie, or has an STD, I think you'd want to know about it before you got into a situation with them. I also think that if I know something like that and I don't tell you about it, I'm culpable.

    As has been said before, fair warning is one thing - gossip is quite another. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish between the two, but you usually know the difference.

    As far as what people are saying about us is concerned, who cares? People who know us know us, and that's good enough for us. We figure that people who don't want to get to know us based entirely on something somebody told them about us are probably people we don't want to get to know in the first place. I know that sounded rather egotistical, but it's reality. If you're the kind of person who believes every little tidbit of hot gossip you hear, and engages in such things, well, have fun with it. We're too busy having fun to bother with such drivel.

  3. Back To Top | #28

    Default Re: Reputations

    Quote Originally Posted by rpu3 View Post
    upon a re-read and coffee, and some helpful "sarcasm" interpreters,
    Sarcasm is in my genes. I can't help it.
    Through every dead and living thing, Time runs, like a fuse. -- Jackson Browne

  4. Back To Top | #29

    Default Re: Reputations

    We've had couples we know give us positive information on other couples, couples that we are either interested in or actively hanging out with. Being a bit new to going back to people's houses it's a nice warm fuzzy. We've not gotten too much negative information.

  5. Back To Top | #30

    Default Re: Reputations

    We say nothing but nice, albeit if we did hit it off it will be "nicer" than if we didn't, but as I said in another thread, just because we didn't hit it off with them doesn't mean someone else won't. And if they do we'll be the ones with egg on our face for saying negative things about them. It's better to avoid those situations and be the couple everyone loves. Basic Dale Carnegie isn't it? "Don't criticize, condemn or complain."

    Mr. WS
    "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud
    Blog: Bigger Love

  6. Back To Top | #31

    Default Re: Reputations

    Quote Originally Posted by rpu3 View Post
    Really? All who accidently come upon a rattlesnake will have the same outcome? I don't see the same outcome experienced by all, given the 7,000+ strikes reported a year* from snakes, versus those who encountered a snake and were not bitten (with the possible reaction being the difference), and then versus those who never stumbled upon one in the first place.

    Perhaps there is a more finite set of potential interactions, but not all interactions with snakes are the same any more than swinging interactions are the same. Regardless, as with the snake information, the failure to pass along relevant information in swinging could do nothing or cause illness or death, and all the options in between. Which, upon a re-read and coffee, and some helpful "sarcasm" interpreters, was likely his point in the first place.
    Oh I got the sarcasm and I actually appreciate the point of the story. I think it was a great way to point out the pitfalls of deciding not to warn someone else about the potential 'dangers' of playing with a particular couple. My point, in the general sense, is that almost no one is going to WANT to run into a snake. Almost no one is going to be happy that they ran into a snake. Most encounters with a snake are going to end up exactly like it did in the story: fearfully getting the heck out of there. Some might get bitten, most will get the heck out of there. There can be serious consequences, almost no good outcomes for most (except those who go looking for snakes. In swinging the consequences are less dire, assuming its not an STD you'd warn about, or a serial killer on the loose. Also the negative interactions in swinging for us can often be positive interactions for others. I think there are very few couples that are "bad couples" who do nothing but wreak havoc everywhere they go.

    That's all I was trying to point out. I caught the original intent and appreciate it's purpose.

  7. Back To Top | #32

    Default Re: Reputations

    Quote Originally Posted by Texasfuncouple View Post
    From our experience we find the ones who "share" the most are the ones we probably are going to enjoy the least.

    Not to mention......"What the hell are they going to say about us"

    ~Texasfun
    This is my thought as well. We had one couple we were very interested in and finally chose to pass on for this very reason.

    But you do have to make a judgement call and determine is it gossip? Therefore you can't base your judgement on someone simply because you heard something... now granted if you keep hearing the same thing from multiple sources... either the rumor has really made the circuit or it's truth (but which is it?).

    There's a couple we met recently that was supposed to come to our last group dinner. We mentioned we'd previously met at a social them to another couple who was at the dinner and their response was "were they drunk?". Um not that we noticed. "well I'm sure they were before the night was over.". Funny we met them again at the last social we went to and they weren't drunk there either.

    Sometimes one bad night results in a year of bad rumors....

    I get Chicup's point about the cave. Although as someone else pointed out, the snake might not still be there. So there is a difference between "watch out we encountered a snake in that cave" and "hey THERE IS a snake in that cave". You just have to be careful how you phrase things.

  8. Back To Top | #33

    Default Re: Reputations

    Another thing we found... the people who talk the most about particular people (pointing them out, etc) are usually the people that kiss and tell.

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