Mrs. GT and I were having a discussion last night about our swing experiences, and how our attitude about different things has changed since we started swinging. When we first started, we were adamant that we would only do same room swap. After a couple of years, we had met a few people that preferred separate rooms and after a while, we decided to try it and see if it would be ok with us. That was about a year and a half ago and now we both agree that we actually prefer separate rooms most of the time. The reason for this is that we couldn't help but notice that we had a much higher percentage of good to excellent swinging encounters with separate room play than we have had with same room.
Since we started swinging, we have been involved in the lifestyle more than most people we know. We go to the club or spend time with swinging friends most weekends, about three weekends a month for the last four years on average, usually both Friday and Saturday nights. On average, we hook up with someone for play about once every three or four nights out. And in that time we have had about a half dozen couples we have played with in the same room were the experience was good, about three or four that were bad experiences, and the rest would best be described as mediocre experiences. On the other hand, when we have played in separate rooms the experience was good at least four out of five times.
Our goal in last nights discussion was to try to figure out what the common denominator was in all of these mediocre encounters. The conclusion we came to was something we see posted here on the board all the time. People will often say that the main turn on for them is watching their partner with someone else. The problem with that is, sometimes the couple your with is so intent on what their spouse is doing that they just aren't any fun in bed. We had a same room swap last weekend that was typical of this problem. When we were done, we went away feeling like it was all about them, and we were just tools for the other couples enjoyment.
My questions for all of you are,
1. For those that have played in both same room, and separate rooms, have you noticed that the sex is better in separate rooms when you are both able to give 100% to your partner?
2. For those of you who are into watching your partner, how do you accomplish that and still give the attention to your swing partner that is needed in order for it to be a good experience for all?
3.If you were in a position where your swing partner is paying so much attention to their spouse that it is not working for you, what would you do to improve the situation?