Thanks for all that have responded. Now I am glad I found this site.
I have actually sat down and tlaked to her about this without alcohol around and during non-sexual encounters. I explained to her in this way:
I LOVE her with all my heart. She is my everything. I have never loved anyone as I do her. I will always be with her for as long as she will have me.
I want to see her happy in everyway possible. She makes me happy. I know she has told me that she loves me too and I make her happy. I told her that the one thing I want to make sure of is that we do not get bored with each other. I have seen many of my friends who are married start feeling this way already after 3-5 years of being together. They are bored with each other and have gotten into the typical "routine". I believe one of the major (if not THE major) reason for couples getting divorced is that they don't feel the "spark" anymore that they once used to. And I believe that this is THE major reason people begin to stray into other men's/women's beds. To find that missing excitement.
I told her that I want to fufill every one of her needs and desires. I said if she ever feels she is getting bored and feels the need of another man's attention, to please let me know and not do anything behind my back. I told her that I would rather make it an enjoyable session for us both rather than sneaking around. I told her that I actually would LOVE to see her have sex with another man while I watch. I told her that I know it is her MAJOR fantasy as she told me. She didn't deny it or say something to the effect that "Well that's only a fantasy". She was quiet. So I know it is something she perhaps desires deep down but is hesitant to do it.
I also told her that this IS my fantasy and I only want her to do it if she wants to do it. I told her I do not want her to feel pressured into it and only want her to do it if it is what she wants......not to just do it becasue she thinks it will make me happy. I never want her to do anything for me if it makes her un-happy but does it just to "make me happy". Never!! I also told her that if we ever went through with this, it would only be if we BOTH agree on it. And if we ever decided it was fun and we wanted to continue to try this, it would be only a limited number if times and we would both still have to agree when it would happen. And that we are NOT looking to replace each other. I told her that I view it as sexual fun and nothing more. I have her body, mind, heart and soul. The other lucky guy would just get to share her body. The rest is for me only.
Now I DO know one of her major hangups is how she feels about the way she looks. She is absolutely beautiful. Again, she gets hit on by men on occassion (makes me horny when she tells me this...). Due to her previous pregnancies, she has developed a bit of a belly. It is very cute actually. But she says I am just saying this because I love her. I tell her no, that she still looks great. But she still is VERY self-conscious about it. She says she can't see herself being nude in front of anyone else.
I did tell her that my friend (who is very willing still to fuck her) thinks she is hot. I have showed him a few pictures of her semi-nude. And he still thinks she is hot. My fiance says that if he thinks that then it's obvious that I have only showed him pictures of her breasts and ass (which are VERY nice). But that I have not showed him her full body. Now I have to say that over the past years, I have shared a few pics of her with guys I chat with. She found out and got VERY angry with me and told me to stop doing this. When I met my friend, I went against her wishes because I wanted to show my friend at his request what she looked like. So I sent him the usual semi-nude pics. I did not send him any full body pics though. But late last year while chatting with him (and him asking still if she was ready) I told him that I thought one of the major reasons she was hesitant was because she was self conscious about her belly. He said that was bull. He asked if I had a pic of her full body. I said yes. He asked if he could see it. After much hesitation, I agreed to show him. so I sent it to him. And his response??? He said he didn't understand what she was all upset about. He thought it was cute and sexy. I was like WOW. I knew it!! LOL.
Anyways back to the issue. When she told me that I must have just sent him pics of her ass and breasts, I told her no. I fessed up and told her that I sent the full body pic of her to him. I was awaiting the verbal abuse against me to begin as I knew I went against her wish of not sharing her pic. But she actually just said something to the effect of "really?". I told her to forgive me but that he said he thought her full body pic was very sexy and that he still wanted to fuck her more than ever. Her response was quietness.
So, I have actually talked to her about this. I told her that I would love to fufill her fantasy. I told her that I want to sit in a chair near the bed and masturbate while I watch her fuck another guy. I told her that some of the sexual things she does not do with me (anal, oral, facial) I want to see her do with him. I told her that if she wanted to let him do whatever to her, then I would love to see it.
Again, she stayed quiet. She didn't deny it or say no. She just stayed quiet.
What does this mean??