But I'm sure it was a great learning experience. If I may ask generally where did you vacation? If it was a warm beach setting and they isolated themselves or to somewhere up north in the cold. Who first suggested the location? Maybe there were some home problems for them. If you are still talking to them it might be worth discussing what went wrong even if you know they are not compatible for swinging.
You are developing a fantasy. If your wife is not into it you need to drop it, you have made your pitch, if she sees a guy she wants to hook up with she will let you know.