D,
Sounds like you may have been in the dark. Is it possible hubby thought you may be scared away if you knew what you were in for that evening? I am in the "he knew more" camp.
Full communication is so important. Mrs. Kat and I are new to the lifestyle, but we communicate everything....even the most mundane thing to you can be huge to your partner.
IMHO, I would suggest you open a discussion with hubby to get it all out on the table.
Most importantly, Have fun!!
Regards,
Katman