The thrill of her cheating on me....

[30sCoupleInKC]

My partner and I are both open to the idea of hard swinging, but for different reasons.

For her, she likes the idea of being watched while she has sex. Also, she is aroused by the fact that I am incredibly aroused by the idea of her having sex with another man.

For me, the thrill is almost entirely different. I will happily indulge her fantasies, but I am very turned on by this sick fetish: her "cheating" on me. I am probably open to sex with other women (because I'm a man, duh) but my primary reason for swinging is to get that feeling that the woman whom I love is having sex with another man. This feeling would be heightened if she would be willing to have sex in seperate rooms but I am pretty sure she doesn't like that idea.

Is this common? Am I just absolutely crazy or what?

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by 30sCoupleInKC

Is this common? Am I just absolutely crazy or what?

It is certainly common - based on many of the tales you read in Penthouse. Plenty of guys like it. Me? Not really. But there is nothing wrong with the fantasy if it is what works for you. Just respect her comfort zones... Some fantasies are just that.

Spoomonkey

[30sCoupleInKC]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Just respect her comfort zones... Some fantasies are just that.

Absolutely, I will. Her eyes betray her. She can say "no, it's okay" but I'll know it's not. I am sure that many, many relationships are ruined by getting into swinging. I don't want mine to be another statistic.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by 30sCoupleInKC

I don't want mine to be another statistic.

This is one of those answers that reminds me that there are smart folks out there

Spoomonkey

[avid]

If you do a google search for "hot wives", you're sure to find a lot of stuff. It seems to be a really common "fetish" (for lack of a better term), and men (and their women) can get off by her going to be with another man, then coming back to him and telling him all the dirty details. Another aspect of this is "cuckolding", which is a little farther along the continuum, I think.

For some couples this works better as a fantasy, albeit a really hot fantasy.

You're not alone.

[30sCoupleInKC]

Originally Posted by avid

For some couples this works better as a fantasy, albeit a really hot fantasy.

I am admittedly concerned about my reaction. I am not, by nature, a jealous or angry person. I suspect I'll love it but if there is a negative reaction it will probably be a dull, deep pain. Hopefully I can abort the action at that time, but if not, oh well. I asked for it, right?

It might be easier for me to stomach if it's a 100% swap and I'm also enjoying the guy's woman at the same time. Again, sounds weird, but oddly enough it makes sense to me.

[Amanda69]

Is it really cheating if you are giving her your permission to do it? Isn't this more the thrill of just knowing she has been with another man?

[itbus69]

I have told my wife it is a turn on for me if she called told me she was going to have sex with a man and come home and tell me all about it but to go behind my back with out leting me know is cheating and not a good thing

[havefuninsun]

OK, you said this:

Originally Posted by 30sCoupleInKC

Absolutely, I will. Her eyes betray her. She can say "no, it's okay" but I'll know it's not. I am sure that many, many relationships are ruined by getting into swinging. I don't want mine to be another statistic.

and then you say this:

Originally Posted by 30sCoupleInKC

I am admittedly concerned about my reaction. I am not, by nature, a jealous or angry person. I suspect I'll love it but if there is a negative reaction it will probably be a dull, deep pain. Hopefully I can abort the action at that time, but if not, oh well. I asked for it, right? .

Are you trolling?

Do you really think swinging is 1) bad for relationships since you think "many, many were ruined" by swinging, and you don't want to be a statistic?

2) Do you think by swinging there is a possibility that you will feel a "dull, deep pain?"

If you think 1 and 2 above, you need not to entertain your fantasy.

If you're a troll, what's the point?

[candk1]

You know, me and my boyfriend are new to swinging. He says that he will let me play alone with another woman. That turns me on SOOOO much. We will also of course play with her as a couple. I am VERY bi, so this is a huge fantasy for me. (Now we just need to find a single female) I really have no desire to play with another man without mine in the same room! Now on the other end, I always fantasize about my boyfriend "cheating" on me with some really hot stripper or some really hot naughty girl. I think about it when I am "alone" but it is not something I am ready to deal with yet, nor is he. (That is without me being there). I told him that I think since it is such a huge fantasy for me, that after we have been in the lifestyle for longer, this may be something that I request. But with them maybe video taping it so I can watch later. I know this turns me on a lot, but I dont think I could handle it quite yet. Maybe in the future! So yes, I think it is just the whole taboo part of the whole thing that turns the other person on.

[prettylady]

I don't think I could deal with Dog being with another woman with out me near. I want this to be an "us" thing. I know I am going to find having sex with another man, and knowing Dog is having fun there...right there, near me, a huge turn on and a hell of a lot of fun. I can see him, watch him, smile, or maybe even touch him. As would the other couple.
I don't see the intrest of doing this solo. I am NOT ready for seperate room swap, don't know if I ever will be. Perhaps with the right couple, but not likely. I love to have my Dog near me all the time. Even when I am pissed at him.

I am curious, Why are you worried about being crazy? Crazy is fun. I like crazy.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[Alura]

When we were first married and experimenting with the lifestyle, Mrs. Alura and I decided she should seduce a single guy she found attractive and interesting. She was successful and told me all about it.

Both of us were surprised that there was virtually no titillation at all. I didn't get excited with her tales of what happened and she found it boring to tell me about it. Additionally, the sex was underwhelming for her.

It was probably the most compelling reason we decided to restrict our play to married couples. Amazingly, the excitement was there for both of us when she told me what went on when we were in separate bedrooms. Eventually, we found ourselves gravitating to foursome play and found that best of all. Still, from time to time, we like to play in separate rooms and talk about it later.

Mr. Alura

[MrsVan]

I think you first need to decide if the fantasy is what you want to act upon. It seems that there may be something else here than just wanting her to fulfill your fantasy...If you think your going to get mad or upset, then I would agree with others on this thread to not do it.

However, I have fantasies myself sord of similar but not sure I would ever act upon them as when MrVan and I got into the lifestyle it is for "us" not me. I have thought of and fantasized picking up a single guy, bringing him back to have hot sex while MrVan is in the other room and the guy doesnt know it, and then when that guy leaves to have hot wild sex with MrVan. Although I am a good flirt I do not think I have it in me to go through with something like this.

So you see you have to weigh your options..Is this something that you want to do and if so, if she does it you need to not be upset because she did something that YOU want her to do.

And lastly, swinging does not ruin many, many, many relationships. It is the people in those relationships that ruin their marriage. If the couple is not comfortable with being in the lifestyle or they have too many issues, then they made the wrong decision by swinging.

MrsVan

[mike big]

hello all im new to this board and i just wondered if at any time u had a girl friend cheat on you. the reason i ask this is that i have noticed some ladies i have been with in the past that they like to be hurt during sex, i mean physically abused. as time went on i realized that they were actually in abusive relationships, they seemed to have a need to relive that fantasy.

i do recognise the diff. between swinging and cheating though. they are not the same. you may be anticipating the cheating and reliving that fantasy??

[ShellyM]

See, I guess Jay and I are just different. When we played last week we played both together and in separate rooms. I actually liked the separate rooms alot, but enjoyed all of it. I don't know, Jay and I are just not jealous people I guess. I guess its just up to the individual couple.