Small town swingers?

[TwoLittleBirds]

In about one hour today, I've run into four couples (plus us, for five) on this board who hail from small town America.

I think there are special challenges that come with living in a small town, or in a rural area. I know we have concerns.

So I'm hoping this thread can be a good one for all of us who "know everybody, and everybody knows us", which can be a good or bad thing; one of those double-edged swords life has to offer!

Two Little Birds

[SillyMeSillyYou]

Why dont you just travel outside of your immediate area? I know its inconvenient but privacy comes with a price.

[steve225]

From ontario canada we got transfered to a small town in alberta, during our trip to our new home we stoped in edmonton (2 hrs away) and visited a really cool club, tere we meet som fun couples et, later in theevening my wife meet this guy and was flirting with him alot, we looked at eachoher and i give her the "sure baby have a good time look" she took him to the back in the semi private area and they had sex.
after they were done they came to my table so i could meet him,my wife with blouse still open and breast expose introduce us,turns out he is also in the military, same trade as i am....and Yes you guess it..MY NEW BOSS..
he was cool an did not turn the situation into something unconfortable for anyone..
he has been withmy wife 3 more times but we all desided that we should stop before it turn into a monster..
got to love small towns

[Charger500]

Small town or big town I'll travel AWAY from my area to meet people. Distance maintains privacy plus acts as a "buffer" should the people or situation get wierd

[funcpl4life]

We just moved from burg of 1000 to a town of 60000. We feel a little more anonymous, but still do 99 44/100% of our playdates out of town.

We had two playdates in the little burg and we were nervous as hell. We caught crap for years because of a nude in Mrs. FC4L's art studio.

Mr. FC4L

[She_n_Jaybee]

We live in a small town, surrounded by small towns. Although we both spent several years living elsewhere, we somehow drifted back to the area we grew up in. So not only do we know everyone, we're related to half of them. To date, most of our swinging has been done at swing clubs. The 5 that we've been to range between 90 and 200 miles away from home. Most of our trips to all but the closest club are overnight trips. For the closest club, by the time you add in dinner and a little bit of shopping and the drive it's 10 to 12 hours and $100 or more spent (only if it's just a little bit of shopping). We've met a few couples (some online, some at the club) that are fairly close. We're considering tring to form our own little local group, and just slowly add to it.

So far, only one person has recognized us from an ad site. He made a few comments suggesting that he knew. So I told him if he had questions about our private life then to ask them, but if I ever heard him speculating about things that were none of his business again, he'd find out why my close friends and family all run away if they think I'm about to lose my temper. That's the last I heard from him and we work together on a daily basis.

[LFM2]

TwoLittleBirds, I was really hoping that you had started this thread!!

We've lived in a one-stop light town for over 16 years. I do believe we are the only ones in this TINY conservative town that has stepped out of the swingers "closet", although, I'm sure there are more. It's just my humble opinion that people in this town tend to "act" one way and pretend to believe another.

None of them, however, would be our cup of tea, hence, we go elsewhere to find couples. Keep in mind, we are talking with another couple and are hoping to have dinner with them soon. So far, things are clicking along rather well.

There are no clubs in our state and I believe the nearest one is in SLC. We've thought of traveling there, just to experience it, yet we are resolved to the fact that we are definitely going to have to travel.

According to Swing Lifestyle, there are quite a few people in the nearest town from here. About 40 miles away. While we don't mind traveling, we have a lot of relatives in that town. I posted in another thread that it would be my luck that I would meet up with someone I know -- like my uncle. We could go further and go 70 miles, yet I have relatives in that town, too. We could go 90 miles, and try something there.

Actually, just going to another state would be fine with us. LOL

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by funcpl4life

We caught crap for years because of a nude in Mrs. FC4L's art studio.

Mr. FC4L

You mean a painting? A statue?

Yeah... Instead of looking at it like art, heaven forbid you put a NAKED statue on a desk or picture on the wall.

Personally, I think the human naked form is about the most beautiful piece of work I've ever seen.

In our small town, I took an art class. My professor was very open minded and loved to share ALL art, in ALL forms including nudes. The university came down on him and told him that was inappropriate. WTF? I'll step off the soapbox now.

[intensity_too]

TwoLittleBirds-

We're in Iowa too and, though it isn't a small town in Iowa, we still worry about running into someone we know. We grew up in Iowa but not this area, so we know a lot of people in this fair town. I have family that lives here . . . hubby works at a manufacturing plant, my sister is a teacher at the catholic high school . . . the potential of answering an ad and then realizing it is someone we know is just out right scary.

We will be looking outside our little locale . . . .

[blondie77]

We live in a little tiny town of 500 people or so where everyone knows you, your business and your dogs business. It's pretty sad at times...haha. There is no way we could go to the town bar to try to meet like minded friends....we'd be run out of town I think...LOL. In fact, we insist on traveling now...we did make a mistake once that ALMOST got us caught.

We thought it would be okay to meet a new lady friend at our local bar. We explained our need for discretion to the gal, and assumed she would act appropriately. Boy, were we wrong! We usually can name every person in the bar at any given time, and when we showed up with a strange gal...the questions started. Who was she...where did we meet...what were we doing with a single gal...and so on.

The lady had a few drinks and soon was flirting pretty heavily with my husband....well, you can see where this story is headed. Luckily, we got her out in time and came up with a good story to cover....but we sure won't be partying anywhere NEAR our town again! Lesson learned. However, people still look at us funny when we explain we're going out of town for the weekend, or talk about people they don't know.....hahaha.

Anyone else with any close calls?

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by blondie77

We live in a little tiny town of 500 people or so where everyone knows you, your business and your dogs business. It's pretty sad at times...haha. There is no way we could go to the town bar to try to meet like minded friends....we'd be run out of town I think...LOL. In fact, we insist on traveling now...we did make a mistake once that ALMOST got us caught.

We thought it would be okay to meet a new lady friend at our local bar. We explained our need for discretion to the gal, and assumed she would act appropriately. Boy, were we wrong! We usually can name every person in the bar at any given time, and when we showed up with a strange gal...the questions started. Who was she...where did we meet...what were we doing with a single gal...and so on.

The lady had a few drinks and soon was flirting pretty heavily with my husband....well, you can see where this story is headed. Luckily, we got her out in time and came up with a good story to cover....but we sure won't be partying anywhere NEAR our town again! Lesson learned. However, people still look at us funny when we explain we're going out of town for the weekend, or talk about people they don't know.....hahaha.

Anyone else with any close calls?

I'm reading your post, and in my mind, I have the same scenario I'd have at our local bar.

How far do you travel?

[TNT]

When Ted and I first got into swinging, living in a small town was a big concern of mine....everyone knows everyone and the gossip mill runs rampant 24/7...our solution at the time was to travel to play.

As time went on I realized how stupid this was on my part...I was letting others dictate to me how I should view and live my life. This did not mean that we threw discretion out the window. Afterall, we still have children living at home and even though we can handle people gossiping about us, we did not and do not want our children to have to deal with it.

We relaxed a bit and started meeting people closer. What we found was that the town was loaded with people who thought just like us...family, friends and neighbors...all who understood the small bible belt town mentality and the meaning of discretion.

We now play mostly in our home town, meeting people at local bars/restaurants...when we run into someone that we know we just smile, say hello and offer no explanations...we are still discreet but the fear that our lives would be ruined if someone found out is not there.

The funny thing about living in a small town is that those who would pass judgement on what Ted and I do, are the same ones that show up to church on Sunday morning after spending Saturday night in the bars cheating on their spouse :rollseyes ....got to love a small town.


Teresa

[blondie77]

LFM2....Haha, yeah it's pretty funny...and embarrassing. We usually have to travel a few hours to ensure privacy. Mostly though, we just host a small gathering at our homw. We live in the country so it's a little more private than living directly in town. We have friends who live in town and they're always complaining about their neighbors commenting on the strange cars parked in front of their house.

And I agree with ya TNT.....we find that a lot of the people in our small town who critisize and judge are the same people getting freaky on Saturday nights behind their spouses backs.

[TwoLittleBirds]

I'm a VERY tolerant person; I can forgive most any character flaw. But there are a few that really burn my ass. And everyone seems to be mentioning one type of people I dislike: Hypocrites.

Mr. Little Bird

[DBL D]

Let's see. We live in a town that has no stop light, 1 gas station, 1 market, 1 hardware store, 1 post office and couple churches. It irks me that when you live in a small town that everyone thinks that it's ok to know everything about each other. They think it's why people live here.

We don't use our real towns name in our profile. We think that when we tell people about that they should understand. I have been recognized from a photo on our profile, but they are not a threat at all, nor are we to them.

It's bound to happen. You could meet someone you know at a dance 200 miles away if the stars are aligned correctly.

Male D