We think we're gonna try to find some different house parties. The clubs are way to pricey only to leave without meeting anyone. May try to meet some couples 1 on 1. We have not had a great re-entry into swinging and are getting discouraged. We hope it turns around for us and we can find the right crowd.
I would like to update everyone. We don't get out to parties as much as we would like, but, have once in awhile. I start every outing with a very positive, confident attitude. The concern I have is we talk to many people usually, but, never get to 2nd base. We go and talk evening, get in the pool, hang out, and then go home after most people have left or hooked up with someone else. I feel we are attractive but never seem to get approached. When we try to approach a couple, we don't get the feeling of interest from the them. We thought after a year of going out to dinner, or to parties we would find 1 couple to have fun with, but, that has not happened. We have become discouraged and are seeking some thoughts and ideas as we have tried thinking out of the box but it has not helped. Thanks for yalls thoughts!
couple, he mostly posts, she reads and points out his mistakes
Re: Trouble meeting people.
This may be a silly question, but have you come right out and expressed interest in anyone? Sometimes you have to be willing to make the first move. In an on-site club we have talked with couples and then if there is an interest by us, we simply say, "We are gonna head upstairs (or wherever) and have some fun, if you would like to join us we will be up there." This way we have let them know we are willing to have fun, but don't put them in the uncomfortable position of having them say no. At parties we will simply leave a card with our e-mail on it, or a phone number so they can contact us if they like, or if we are out of town a hotel room number if they would like to stop by. It can be a little scary putting yourself out there, but sometimes you have to risk a little bit if you want to have some fun.
Why don't you ever get to second base? It's your weight or the cliques in the club or that Mrs. sexyhornycouple isn't bi or that people made arrangements before they ever got there or others aren't interested.
No, that's not what I think, that's what you've said. And it sounds very much like you're blaming others, or - at the very least - gving others much more power over your ability to have a good time than any sane person would want. It's the couple's version of creepy single guy. (Please note, I don't think most or even many single men in the lifestyle are creepy, but every club probably has at least one, hanging out waiting to be chosen instead of making friends and having a good time with or without sex.)
You have each other, so every house party or club you go to guarantees that you will have sex at least once, if you choose to. How cool is that? Yeah, you can f*** each other anytime, but how often can you do it with the sights and sounds you find there? Do that, joyfully. Maybe others will join you, maybe they won't. Doesn't matter, if you're hot for each other.
Work on your social skills. Be interested in people because they're interesting. Not because they might want to have sex with you. Stop thinking about yourself and what's wrong with you or why you can't whatever. Think about others and how to amuse them and make them comfortable. Build yourself a home group. There have to be at least two or three local groups in your area that have regular meet and greets. Join them and attend their events regularly. I subscribe to the broccoli theory of making friends: It usually takes more than one serving (or meeting) to know if you like something or someone.
Also, if your wife really is 54, you might think about changing the acceptable age range in your SLS profile. I always think people who are only interested in those younger than themselves are gits and hide their profiles. I'm probably not the only one who has a negative reaction, either.
My reasons were drawn from what we experienced at different venues we have gone too. We have seen the cliques majorly at most of the swing clubs. We even had one couple write us on sls. Said they were going to the club. We approached them at the club. They then told us they had no time to visit with us as they pre-arranged a meeting already with someone else. wtf? Never heard from them again. We understand the theory that you need more than one meeting to know if you like someone. However, our schedules dictate that we can only get out 1 time every 3-4 months. This makes it harder to get to know people. We have researched for meet and greets in our area. Their are very few. We live in Fort Worth. Most are in the Dallas area. All of the parties have been in the Dallas area. We used to have a club we had great success at but, it closed down. Their is another club close to our house, but, the last time went their was less than 10 people in it and it was located in a bad area of town. We are not picky people. We are quite the life of the party. We can hang and drink with people all evening without them making any attempts to play with anyone. I have found that fewer people are coming to swing parties to play. We used to attend a large play house where most of the people ended up in bed at the end of the night. We now see only a few people, sometimes none, play. We are very experienced and have no relationship problems or jealousy that holds us back. We went last night to a party and I told my wife to go ahead and do what she would like. The men all turned her down. So maybe its just us, or maybe its not. Thats what we are trying to work out.