SabrinaSwings

Interesting topic. I always wore my wedding ring until the band broke. I was sort of ho-hum about getting it fixed and just went without for a while. My hubby, however, really wanted me to have it. Once I got it fixed, I was actually really happy to have it back. Then I lost a bunch of weight and it started getting very loose and I was afraid I would lose it. Since I knew how important the ring was to my husband, I got it resized and now I wear it 100% of the time. I wonder if lifestylers are less likely to wear their rings, simply because they are also less likely to buy into the cultural norms surrounding marriage. Also, I'm curious, who cares more about the wearing of rings --- men or women?

I would say go to the party and be open to socializing without the expectation of playing. Getting to know people is a great way to find compatible playmates in the lifestyle. Expanding your social circle is the key to finding play partners. Secondly, I've finally figured out (after a really long time) that I really only need to find ONE other person at the party attractive in order to end up with an attractive playmate. I used to often worry if there was *only* one or two couples that I thought I'd like. Now I get excited and think, "Great! There's one or two people I'm interested in meeting or playing with."

If someone tells me they've never been jealous in the lifestyle, I honestly don't believe them. I've never had full-out drama type jealousy, but I've certainly experienced some jealousy.... here are some of the situations that have made me "jealous": Hubby is out on a date and I'm home alone in a messy house. Hubby played at the house party and I didn't. We're out with one of hubby's favorite gals and I'm not super into the other guy. Hubby is giving another girl screaming orgasms with his tongue and I'm with someone who's freaking out because he's losing his hard on. Someone I like isn't into me, but hubby has a super fun potential playmate to flirt with Again, nothing major, but certainly some feelings of jealousy. When the green monster starts to rear her ugly head, I just try to go back to some of my incredible lifestyle experiences and remember how much fun they were. I write a lot about jealousy on my blog and I think there are basically two main things that cause jealousy to bubble up: #1) I'm not feeling 100% happy with myself. Swinging is a great personal growth experience. You really have to be comfortable with yourself in order to make the most of this lifestyle #2) There is some relationship junk happening between hubby and I that we need to figure out. It normally has absolutely nothing to do with the person I am supposedly "jealous" of, but instead there is something between him and I that we need to fix. Great question and one of the most common topics in swinging/non-monogamy.

If I were that woman, I would have left him to his television and gone off to flirt with some other men who would appreciate the attention! :-)

Hubby and I sometimes wonder about this as well. We don't use any barriers for oral. We know that the most pesky STIs which aren't cured by antibiotics don't even require fluid exchange to be transmitted between partners. We both have very reliable semi-permanent or permanent birth control. Sometimes it feels like using condoms is just a formality? I would consider it especially if the guy wasn't going to finish inside me. As a woman, I think our insides are more prone to picking up STIs because of the warm, moist environment. However, given the number of partners, I wouldn't want to rely on someone else to "promise" he would pull out in enough time. And if I'm using condoms, I'm certainly going to make my husband use them. I've heard that using female condoms with lots of lube feels almost like the real thing.....and they provide more protection against the skin-to-skin infections like HSV.

We are a full swap couple and we don't really have "rules". It works for us and we love it. However, we have also played with some soft swap couples and it can be REALLY REALLY hot. There is something about the forbidden fruit that makes me crazy! It can be quite fun to find creative ways to play around the "rules". For example: I played with a guy recently in his car outside a bar. He and his wife are new to the lifestyle and weren't quite ready for a full swap situation, so it was basically going to be making out. At one point, I put my own fingers down the front of my pants, licked them clean, and then kissed him deeply with tongue. Gave him a little teasing taste of my pussy and made us BOTH very hot!! It's actually pretty amazing how hot it can be when sex is off the table. After that and a couple other experiences, I told my hubby that we might need to switch to soft swap!! LOL As long as he will take care of me when we get home.

Hello Unicorn. The very most important thing about deciding what to wear is to make sure you feel 100% comfortable and sexy in the outfit. There is nothing worse than wearing something to a party because you "think" it's what you're supposed to wear, and then you find yourself feeling overly exposed or squeezed into/out of something. You can never go wrong with a skirt and a sexy top. Skirts can look casual or dressy, so they work in all situations. Lots of women buy dresses specifically for going out to parties and they would not be appropriate for any other event. Personally, I tend to dress somewhat sexier for swinger events than I would for work or a family event, but I'm generally not dressed in a way that would embarrass me to walk through a grocery store. Again though, that's just for my own comfort level. I carry some extra weight and I don't feel comfortable or sexy in super tight or revealing clothes. I've even worn pants and jeans to parties before. It all depends on how I am feeling. (Although some parties may have a dress code that won't allow for jeans, so checking with the hosts is a very good idea.) When in doubt: Skirt, top, and high heels. Can't go wrong!

I have never had the pleasure of watching this, but it is a huge fantasy of mine. My husband and I are both straight and although we have done threesomes, it has always been a one-way street with the two males pleasuring the female or vice-versa. I have so enjoyed these posts. Keeps me hoping for the chance to fulfill my fantasy someday!

I really like to hang around with my playmates chatting and snuggling for a while after sex. My husband and I both prefer playmates who we enjoy mentally and emotionally, not just physically. I actually get a little offended if someone is just "done" with me once he finishes. I'm not sure what hubby does on his private dates, but I suspect that he's not finishing up and getting dressed immediately to leave. I do think there is a lot less of this activity when we are playing as a couple or at a party. Just a bit of a different vibe. As for future behavior outside the bedroom, we definitely kiss our friends when we see them at parties or bar meets.

I recently read about a suspected link between an increase in throat and oral cancer in men with an increase in oral sex. Basically that HPV is causing cancer in men who perform oral sex. Just another thing to worry about when trying to enjoy oral sex!

I just posted about this on my blog. While I think "adult" games can be fun, I do think that they can be intimidating and a little uncomfortable if they require sexual or even sensual contact without choice in who is giving / receiving the touching. If the game is overtly sexual in nature, I think I would prefer a mind game that involves sharing of fantasies, reading people's minds, etc.... I actually think that "vanilla" games make a great addition to swinger parties. They are non-threatening, but they promote interaction. When you play on teams, you might find yourself sitting close to your teammates or giving high fives, hugs, or kisses when your "team" does well. Games usually bring some little rushes of adrenaline which is easily converted to sexual energy! We went to a dinner party once and played a vanilla board game. There was a lot of flirtation! I remember flitting my eyes at one of the guys and saying something like: "What do I get if I get this right?" To which he answered, "What do you want?" We were having sex in the living room less than 30 minutes later.

There actually is a Swingers reality show on PlayboyTV called Swing. Playboy TV I've never seen it, but the concept is this: Every week we will be inviting a new couple to our weekend retreat and mixing them with veteran swingers and trained sex experts. Some will find it brings them closer, while others will get torn apart

That is so great that you get excited by your wife's pleasure. My husband and I play separately quite a bit and I am always really happy for him to be enjoying the pleasure of a new woman. Unlike a lot of people though, we don't get specifically turned on by the after-stories. For me it's more about being happy for my husband and the fun he gets to have. And also.....knowing that he's going to give me the same opportunity.

I have horrible eyesight and as a kid I hated my glasses. I waited desperately to be allowed to get contact lenses. I still very rarely wear my glasses, and would have trouble "feeling sexy" in them. I think it be great to wear them and get a positive response from men who might find them sexy. In fact, I tend to like the type of men who wear funky glasses....so it might actually work. I just have to get over my own issues around it. So for the OP, I would say this....you are a person who wears glasses and that is not going to change. Find a pair that fits your personality and makes you feel sexy. Play with your image a bit. Are you a naughty secretary type or a funky stylish type? A hot pair of glasses can fit both personalities. You will find men who either love the glasses or don't care. For those who don't like women in glasses?? Well then, I guess they are going to miss out on your awesome sexy self. Their loss.

Hi there. I am 38, hubby is 45. Our swinging activity started about 18 years ago and we have been off and on during that entire time. We became most active in the last 4-5 years or so.