Why same or separate room play?

[good times]

Originally Posted by The Fuse

I'm curious. Did you say anything to them about how you felt during play with them? If so, how did they react?

No, we didn't say anything to them. Like most people, we don't like to hurt anyones feelings. In fact, while I like to think of myself as a very honest person, and have even been told by more than one person that I am a little too honest sometimes, we have told people we had fun with them when we really didn't. Wasn't an outright lie, as we wouldn't have went to the playroom with them if we hadn't been having fun with them up to that point, but it wasn't totally honest either because the sex was anti-climatic to say the least.

This was the main motivation for this thread, we just haven't figured out a way to tactfully tell someone that they suck as play partners. I know, that is putting it bluntly, but like everyone else, we are in this to have fun, and a lot of times it just isn't all that enjoyable. We were hoping others here might have some great ideas of how to steer this type of situation into a more enjoyable scenario for all involved. As indicated here, a lot of people insist on same room play. At our favorite club that means same bed as they only have one bed per room and we normally play same room simply because it is logistically much easier to find one of the busy play rooms empty than two. We have just gotten to the point that when someone says "same room only" it is kind of like a big red flag to us, more often than not the "same room only" people suck as playmates. Not always, but often enough that we are getting frustrated by it. Funny thing is, we have noticed that if the people say that they have no problem doing same or seperate room we have never had this problem with them, even when we play same room.

[good times]

Originally Posted by Amanda69

Good times that is why you take the time to find a compatible couple. There are just as many who enjoy watching each other as don't...

I would agree with you here if every time we had played with someone who was "same room only" it was a bad experience. But the fact is, one of our favorite play couples is "same room only". So, had we just refused to play with anyone that insisted on same room only we would have missed out on a lot of fun play couples. The problem is, you never know until you are in the middle of it. I guess if it isn't working we could just get up and leave, but doing that just isn't something that we would feel comfortable with. I would love to know a way to figure this out before we get to the play room, but I don't know of a reliable way to do it. If somebody told us ahead of time that they were going to just watch their partner the whole time and not pay any attention to us, we would naturally decline. We have only had one couple ever do that though, and we did, in fact, decline.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by good times

But the fact is, one of our favorite play couples is "same room only".

What is it that's different/better about having sex with this couple, compared to the other same-room-only couples that you've been with? How do they make it different in the way that's good for you?

[good times]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

What is it that's different/better about having sex with this couple, compared to the other same-room-only couples that you've been with? How do they make it different in the way that's good for you?

Well, probably the reason they are one of our favorites is that we all have similar styles. In other words we all seem to have the same things that turn us on, and we all seem to have a similar progression from start to finnish in what we like to do. None of that has much to do with whether we were doing same room or not though, I am sure they would be just as fun either way. Compared to other couples we have had same room sex with though, the difference from the majority is that even though we might have a little peeking and touching with our spouses during sex their is no doubt that we are all giving 100% to the one we are with. At the opposite end of the spectrum is the couple we were with a couple of weeks ago that prompted this thread who maybe gave us 5 or 10% of their attention, they might have noticed if we fell off the bed or left the room but the majority of their attention was on their spouse, which kicked this one firmly into the poor experience catagory. Most others we have done same room with have fallen somewhere in the middle and they were the ones I was refering to as being mediocre experiences.

I would like to add that this is mostly a problem with the male of the other couples as most often he is the one that is doing the watching instead of concentrating on what he is doing with Mrs. GT. I think men are probably more visually oriented than women so I assume that is probably part of the explaination for that. It has happened both ways though.