Reasons You Haven't Jumped In Yet

lookingfornow · 10-31-2006, 02:25 PM

From a couple of recent polls, it is clear that a large percentage of participants on this board have not yet engaged in any swinging-type activities (whether that is soft swapping or full). We wonder what is the primary reason that you haven't taken the plung. You are only allowed to pick one. While you likely have more than one reason, we'd like to know which reason is the primary reason. So, you have to pick one. If you don't see your reason, please select other and post it in reply. Thanks!

prettylady · 10-31-2006, 03:07 PM

We havn't started swinging yet. We are ready, no jealousy issues, no fear of STDs or any other fears you listed. We have met a few couples we would like to swing with. I want friends first. Playmates second.
We are in the process of developing a couple of friendships and are ready to try swinging with them. Now finding the time were all our scheduals mesh. THAT right there is our problem.
Your friend,
Prettylady

Mr. Truelove · 10-31-2006, 05:23 PM

Yeah, I had to put down...found a couple, looking for more, trying to get schedules to work.

This is hard.

Mr. Truelove

Mr.T · 10-31-2006, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Truelove

Yeah, I had to put down...found a couple, looking for more, trying to get schedules to work.

This is hard.

Mr. Truelove

We're in the same boat,TL.

harsh · 10-31-2006, 07:11 PM

Basically catching fire with the notion of swinging 6 months ago, approaching my wife with the idea, and then my impatient self making it a topic of basic conversation with my wife for 2 straight months. She certainly wasn't averse to the idea and we even came up with some basic ground rules for whenever that first time came. But after 2 months, and I can't articulate it very well, the daily conversations seemed disingenuous from my end. No doubt we had felt the enhanced level of communication we both had created, but this had to be expanded and transcended into other areas of our lives together. The level of enhanced communication and discovery after 20 years of marriage has been mind blowing in a positive way, and some days not easy by any stretch.

I have no doubt our time will come to jump in, and no doubt we'll be ready when that day occurs. The journey in getting there has been fun, rewarding and priceless for our relationship. In the meantime, I'll continue to lurk and learn

SouthBond · 10-31-2006, 07:14 PM

I suppose if you ran the bars all your life and slept with everything in town, swinging would come very easy. But many married couples have never done anything close to swapping partners. They have gotten an education, secured good careers, had a family, been part of the community, maybe even gone to church, just like all the good people do. But back there in their mind is the thought of having sex with someone else. Maybe it's born in us, maybe watching XXX movies that gives us the idea, or maybe we are just bored with the same old sex. Then when you find out that your spouse is thinking about the same thing, you begin moving towards swinging and start asking questions. If you could just find a robo couple that you could bring into the bedroom and play with, it would be great. But you need a real live couple. But you are afraid. What about diseases, what if someone finds out, what if you find yourself in a room with a serial killer. So you try to ease into the fantasy with the idea of just ultra soft swing, maybe softswing, maybe just watch and be watched, maybe same room. Maybe, maybe, maybe, and if, if, if. So you go to the Swinger's Board which is the best place to go for information about swinging. But you find hard core swingers and you really don't want to hop in bed with someone that has laid half the people in your part of the state. You are actually much better than them, a higher standard, you want to have a high standard sex. So you get on Swing Lifestyle and say that you are looking for a fun couple, college degree, don't smoke, social drink, no STDs, no illegal habits, friends first, maybe soft sex. Very Tame. Then you don't get any replies or worse yet the moderator sends you an email saying you probably should just go to the church social club. Worse yet, someone from your town calls up and figures out that it is you posting on Swing Lifestyle and tells you that everyone at the Rotary Club thought that it was really interesting. You think, what and the hell are we doing. But you are still horny and still thinking about swinging. So you continue your mission. So what should you do? Evaluate if you want to have more fun than you have ever had in your life or forget the whole idea and just live out your life in total boredom. My wife and I decided what we wanted and recruited. We first would talk to couples and feel out their sex level with jokes or comments. If this led to sharing XXX movies, we figured that we had them. All the couples that we have ever played with was preceded by visits to each other homes and sharing sexual comments, jokes, movies, and suggestions. Somewhere in the process, the talk would turn to actually doing things that the other person had fantasized about. Sometimes it took a few dates but it all concluded with full swap. There are thousands of people looking for sexual fun. You just have to work, in a smart way, to find people that you like and can trust.

sexyshelby · 10-31-2006, 07:34 PM

I had to vote for other. We're ready, but live on opposite sides of the world right now, which makes swinging together just a tad bit difficult!

We have had a few threesomes before we had even heard about "the lifestyle". But don't really consider them to be swinging experiences. So, we're anxiously awaiting. Once I move back, we will likely wait a few months and then jump right in.

~SS

Spoomonkey · 10-31-2006, 07:55 PM

I voted other just so I could see the poll

We've jumped in and been bobbing up and down and all around for some time now

It does take time folks, but be patient - your best experiences won't be your first ones anyway.

Spoomonkey

VanHlebar · 10-31-2006, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I voted other just so I could see the poll

You did know that you could just have viewed the results without voting right?

-Van

Spoomonkey · 10-31-2006, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VanHlebar

You did know that you could justs have viewed the results without voting right?

I feel pretty stupid right now... Almost as silly as I'd feel if I were dressed as a pirate

Spoomonkey

PS - I am just kidding, V. Your avatar and profile photo look incredible! You guys are a great looking couple! (Feel guilty for calling me dumb yet???)

VanHlebar · 10-31-2006, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

(Feel guilty for calling me dumb yet???)

Hey wait a minute...I don't see where I called you dumb...but if the shoe fits Cinderella...

-Van

Spoomonkey · 10-31-2006, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VanHlebar

but if the shoe fits Cinderella...

Is that a jab or a fantasy???

Spoomonkey

VanHlebar · 10-31-2006, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Is that a jab or a fantasy???

Spoomonkey

Ok...back to your regularly scheduled thread and topic

-Van

nice_cpl_n_bama · 10-31-2006, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I feel pretty stupid right now... Almost as silly as I'd feel if I were dressed as a pirate

Spoomonkey

[/i]

A purple monkey in pirate garb. I think I'd be willing to pay a few bucks to see that.

LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW, SPOO THE PIRATE!!!

MrsVan · 10-31-2006, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nice_cpl_n_bama

A purple monkey in pirate garb. I think I'd be willing to pay a few bucks to see that.

LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW, SPOO THE PIRATE!!!

Followed by CinderellaSpoo

Those two shows would make for a very interesting line up and I know that I would pay to see those two performances back to back.

MrsVan

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View Poll Results: Primary Reason That You Haven't Played Yet.
We aren’t ready to play because one or both of us are concerned about jealousy.	10	20.83%
We aren’t ready to play because one or both of us are concerned about STDs.	2	4.17%
We aren’t ready to play because one or both of us are concerned about privacy (being discovered).	2	4.17%
We aren’t ready to play because one or both of us are concerned about the moral or religious ramifications.	5	10.42%
We haven’t looked for playmates because one or both of us are afraid no one will want to play with us.	5	10.42%
We’re ready, but we haven’t found the single female we need to do a MFF.	1	2.08%
We’re ready, but we haven’t found the single male we need to do a MMF.	2	4.17%
We’re ready, but we can’t find the right couple with whom to play.	11	22.92%
Some other reason (please post description).	10	20.83%
Voters: 48. You may not vote on this poll

10-31-2006, 02:25 PM	#1 (permalink)
lookingfornow Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 166 Location: N.E.Ohio Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:lookingfornow	Reasons You Haven't Jumped In Yet From a couple of recent polls, it is clear that a large percentage of participants on this board have not yet engaged in any swinging-type activities (whether that is soft swapping or full). We wonder what is the primary reason that you haven't taken the plung. You are only allowed to pick one. While you likely have more than one reason, we'd like to know which reason is the primary reason. So, you have to pick one. If you don't see your reason, please select other and post it in reply. Thanks!

10-31-2006, 03:07 PM	#2 (permalink)
prettylady anything boys can do.... Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,750 Location: Utopia Status: Trouble maker Swing Lifestyle Name:playtoys69 Blog Entries: 1	Re: Reasons You Haven't Jumped In Yet We havn't started swinging yet. We are ready, no jealousy issues, no fear of STDs or any other fears you listed. We have met a few couples we would like to swing with. I want friends first. Playmates second. We are in the process of developing a couple of friendships and are ready to try swinging with them. Now finding the time were all our scheduals mesh. THAT right there is our problem. Your friend, Prettylady __________________ To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

10-31-2006, 05:23 PM	#3 (permalink)
Mr. Truelove Beware,noob giving advice Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,011 Location: Fort Wayne Status: Married Male Swing Lifestyle Name:Thetrueloves	Re: Reasons You Haven't Jumped In Yet Yeah, I had to put down...found a couple, looking for more, trying to get schedules to work. This is hard. Mr. Truelove __________________ The most fun I can never tell anyone about!

10-31-2006, 07:11 PM	#5 (permalink)
harsh Here to Stay Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 19 Location: Ohio	Re: Reasons You Haven't Jumped In Yet Basically catching fire with the notion of swinging 6 months ago, approaching my wife with the idea, and then my impatient self making it a topic of basic conversation with my wife for 2 straight months. She certainly wasn't averse to the idea and we even came up with some basic ground rules for whenever that first time came. But after 2 months, and I can't articulate it very well, the daily conversations seemed disingenuous from my end. No doubt we had felt the enhanced level of communication we both had created, but this had to be expanded and transcended into other areas of our lives together. The level of enhanced communication and discovery after 20 years of marriage has been mind blowing in a positive way, and some days not easy by any stretch. I have no doubt our time will come to jump in, and no doubt we'll be ready when that day occurs. The journey in getting there has been fun, rewarding and priceless for our relationship. In the meantime, I'll continue to lurk and learn

10-31-2006, 07:14 PM	#6 (permalink)
SouthBond Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 161 Location: Deep River, Texas Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:Southbond	Re: Reasons You Haven't Jumped In Yet I suppose if you ran the bars all your life and slept with everything in town, swinging would come very easy. But many married couples have never done anything close to swapping partners. They have gotten an education, secured good careers, had a family, been part of the community, maybe even gone to church, just like all the good people do. But back there in their mind is the thought of having sex with someone else. Maybe it's born in us, maybe watching XXX movies that gives us the idea, or maybe we are just bored with the same old sex. Then when you find out that your spouse is thinking about the same thing, you begin moving towards swinging and start asking questions. If you could just find a robo couple that you could bring into the bedroom and play with, it would be great. But you need a real live couple. But you are afraid. What about diseases, what if someone finds out, what if you find yourself in a room with a serial killer. So you try to ease into the fantasy with the idea of just ultra soft swing, maybe softswing, maybe just watch and be watched, maybe same room. Maybe, maybe, maybe, and if, if, if. So you go to the Swinger's Board which is the best place to go for information about swinging. But you find hard core swingers and you really don't want to hop in bed with someone that has laid half the people in your part of the state. You are actually much better than them, a higher standard, you want to have a high standard sex. So you get on Swing Lifestyle and say that you are looking for a fun couple, college degree, don't smoke, social drink, no STDs, no illegal habits, friends first, maybe soft sex. Very Tame. Then you don't get any replies or worse yet the moderator sends you an email saying you probably should just go to the church social club. Worse yet, someone from your town calls up and figures out that it is you posting on Swing Lifestyle and tells you that everyone at the Rotary Club thought that it was really interesting. You think, what and the hell are we doing. But you are still horny and still thinking about swinging. So you continue your mission. So what should you do? Evaluate if you want to have more fun than you have ever had in your life or forget the whole idea and just live out your life in total boredom. My wife and I decided what we wanted and recruited. We first would talk to couples and feel out their sex level with jokes or comments. If this led to sharing XXX movies, we figured that we had them. All the couples that we have ever played with was preceded by visits to each other homes and sharing sexual comments, jokes, movies, and suggestions. Somewhere in the process, the talk would turn to actually doing things that the other person had fantasized about. Sometimes it took a few dates but it all concluded with full swap. There are thousands of people looking for sexual fun. You just have to work, in a smart way, to find people that you like and can trust.

10-31-2006, 07:34 PM	#7 (permalink)
sexyshelby It's not easy being easy. Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 2,012 Location: In Bed Status: Person	Re: Reasons You Haven't Jumped In Yet I had to vote for other. We're ready, but live on opposite sides of the world right now, which makes swinging together just a tad bit difficult! We have had a few threesomes before we had even heard about "the lifestyle". But don't really consider them to be swinging experiences. So, we're anxiously awaiting. Once I move back, we will likely wait a few months and then jump right in. ~SS __________________ What's love got to do with it?

10-31-2006, 07:55 PM	#8 (permalink)
Spoomonkey Chimpin' Ain't Easy Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 6,648 Location: Ohio Status: Married Monkeys - will you be our vine? Swing Lifestyle Name:Spoomonkey	Re: Reasons You Haven't Jumped In Yet I voted other just so I could see the poll We've jumped in and been bobbing up and down and all around for some time now It does take time folks, but be patient - your best experiences won't be your first ones anyway. Spoomonkey __________________ "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

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