Would you play with soft swingers?

[BonnyaClyde]

My wife & I are turned on by the thought of sme room sex & petting & playing with another couple but neither of us want to have sex with someone else.
My wife is concerned that if started playing with swingers there would be alot of pressure to have sex with them or dissapointment if we didn't.

Would you play with a couple that would nothave sex with you?

[ShellyM]

In honesty I don't think I would. To me, it would be like a meal without the steak lol....good, but somehow not completely satisfying. I know there are people who are willing to do this. The key is letting them know up front and straight out. That way there are no expectations of full play, and then there are no dissapointments.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by BonnyaClyde

My wife & I are turned on by the thought of sme room sex & petting & playing with another couple but neither of us want to have sex with someone else.

There are many things you can do with another couple during soft swing that excludes intercourse. You can enjoy kissing, touching, manual stimulation, oral, massage, etc. If 'not having sex' to you only means not having intercourse with the other couple, you can find other couples who would be comfortable with that, even full swap couples like ourselves play with soft swing couples as long as it's clear from the start that we all will engage in swapping where all of those other options will be okay.

If you are clear upfront (in your ad profile if you have one) as to what "soft swing" means to you, what you will do and won't do during play, then you should have no problem finding interested couples if you are open to some degree of exchange.

If "soft swing" to you means never interacting with the other couple then it will be very tough finding others who have the same restriction.

LM

[good times]

No, we have done this before and it just isn't all that fun for us. Kind of like going to the theme park when it is closed.

[2jersey]

Sure, why not? Some of our private sessions (just the two of us) involve sexual activity without intercourse - we have no problem following the same agenda when another couple is included.

When we were a soft swap couple, we encountered varying degrees of opposition from full swap couples. We can only remember one couple who didn't want to soft swap with us (they were hardened veterans). Most full swap couples were willing to stoop to our level (once they realized this was the only way they were going to get us to the bedroom).

[2lookinforfun77]

We would certainly play with a soft swing couple if we liked and connected with them. There's lotsa fun stuff to do depending on what the other couple's definition of soft swing is. In fact one of our first encouvers was a soft swing... and that was very interesting. Be up-front with exactly what you want and what your boundaries are.

[Sweet_Candy]

Why bother with an appetizer/soft swap when you can have an entree/full swap?

[SuAndBud]

Soft-swing is an entity in itself (almost separate to swinging).

How on earth do you draw up (let alone adhere to) limits in such a situation?

The following is not "swing" related at all, but just an interesting anecdote that involved "soft-sex".

Bud met a girl when he was 21 and she 19. they hit it off and went out. A nice evening was had. It was repeated and repeated and repeated until Alison (the girl) eventually agreed to go for a night-cap at Bud's apartment.

A drink or two was cracked open. Music was playing. It was a warm night.

"It's warm, isn't it" said Bud.

"Maybe we've got too many clothes on" said A.

Both stripped buck naked and caressed on Bud's bed. A was happy to play with Bud's dick and balls and Bud was more than happy playing with A's form and pussy whilst they tongue-jousted for England.

A lay back and opened her legs so Bud could make love to her but at the last second twisted her hips to prevent his entrance and said "No". Not a problem, really. All foreplay. Bud and A were deep kissing and talking nice and soft to each other while Bud gripped his dick in his hand and stroked it up and down between A's pussy lips - pausng and pressing at her hood which was sending her wild. A's pussy was sopping wet but each time Bud tried to press home she twisted her hips to prevent him entering her and said "No".

This went on for about 2 or 3 hours (a not unpleasurable time, but not what either of them truly wanted either).

Bud (getting tired and irritable towards the end) said "You know, I get the feeling that you want me to fck you but you can't own up to it".

"I think you're probably right" she breathed "I'm a virgin" (this was not a nasty conversation, both were still getting off on each other and enjoying deep kisses and soft caresses).

Bud then positioned his penis at the entrance to her vagina and pushed inside about half a centimetre (waiting for her to twist her hips again). "I think you want to, but you just don't want to be seen to agree to it the first time" said Bud. "I think you want a guy to just do it, force it, even though you're saying no" he continued.

"I think you're right" said A. "I want it but can't agree to it at the same time. Once I lose my virginity I can never get it back, it's gone forever". Bud pressed a little more on A's hymen. "No" she said.

"I can't do it as long as you say NO. I just can't. You'll have to find someone else" said Bud, not unkindly and with no nastiness as he could understand her dilemna.

Bud and Alison parted as friends, but never got passed "soft-sex". They remained friends for a good year and a half. Bud even visited Alison at her home and Alison came and stayed with Bud again at his but whilst they would kiss and hold each other no further nakedness ever ensued. Bud always used to ask if she wanted some fun and Alison always just said "Sorry, I'm not ready".

Bud and A became penpals and one day Bud received a letter from A in which she exclaimed excitedly that she'd "done it" with a number one guy who was a friend, lover, counsellor the lot. Bud sent a warm letter of congratulations (not without a little sadness on his part that it hadn't been him). Bud wrote again on three occasions but never heard back from Alison (sad eh?).

Bud related this story to a Detective Inspector in the Police Force many years later who said he could state categorically that under such circumstance Bud would never have been convicted of rape.

But Bud's got no regrets (well maybe it would have been fun to screw Alison) . But as long as she says no - it's no-go.

Soft-Swinging would drive us up the wall!

[cpl2doitwithu]

We get off in all kinds of ways. We like everthing from watching another cpl while they watch us to swapping up for an all nighter and everything in between. (well, almost)...lol

[Tia Vampire]

I guess you can call me a soft swapper. I rather give head and just not bother with all out sex. I love giving head. facelick

[WesternSwing]

We have in the past, but it is really not why we are there. It can be fun, it can add a different dimension to the whole thing, but it just isn't our gig.

Mr. WS

[WesternSwing]

As an additional comment to this, you will be able to find other couples that feel like you do; there are many that soft-swing only. You'll just have to search harder.

[sereneiders]

Well, up to me this is like asking "would you appreciate foreplay even if you won't have intercourse later on?", and the answer is "yes".

In the last case, my wife would say "thank you guys to heat the pot for me to drink the tea".

[telly2]

In the last case, my wife would say "thank you guys to heat the pot for me to drink the tea".[/quote]


Mr.Telly2 says:

Well Said!!

[2jersey]

When you choose to eliminate soft swap from consideration, you are defacto separating yourself from a large subset of the swinging community - including some people who you may regard as very attractive.

When we were a soft swap couple, we encountered several full swap couples who were willing to play with us - not because they preferred soft swap, but because they were highly attracted to us (or so they said ).