Swinging and BBW's

[Luvs_Tunes]

Hello Everyone, we are a couple in Minnesota and are very new to this scene. He is average + a little in build and I am a BBW but not grossly over weight (in my opinion). We have had one encounter with another BBW woman and loved it. We would like to meet more people (including couples) in our area that we can enjoy fun times with. However we have had a little difficult time finding people interested and I feel that it may be because of my weight. I have been told i am a good looking woman and I am very sexual and sensual. Hubby says not to worry but I feel that I may be holding the play time back because of who I am. Before anyone says "well just loose the weight", I have tried and can't due to a thyroid inbalance. Does anyone out there have experience with being a heavier partner or having a heavier partner and any input as to if this life style is a realistic adventure for us. I really enjoyed our first experience (it was my first with a woman as well) and would love to give hubby more, just not sure if its realistic for me to feel it will ever happen.

Any help or advice is greatly appreciated.

Luvs (the female half)

[fun_pairTX]

BBW women play all the time. Mrs Fun gained weight after a hysterectomy and it didn't slow us down a single bit. Its all about attutude. Flaunt what you got. Confident women are sexy and it shows. Personally I prefer women with a bit of extra, it accentuates the curves and I don't wake up with bruised ears either. If you have trouble in Minnesota, come take a vacation in Texas, Mrs Fun and I are far from alone in our Pro-BBW attitude.

[yawanna]

Now I LUV reading good stuff like that fun_pairTX

I am recently and temporarily 20 lbs more than usual...lifestyle change, less active in my work, etc. etc. and I'm very self conscious about it. Our existing swinger friends say it doesn't change a BIT who I am or why they luv us .. gawd BLESS them.. but I worry about when we meet new people. Will they go 'eeewww' or brush me off? I'd considered us taking a break until I get back to my original size.

I have heard the remarks made about heavier women, and older women as well....the not so complimentary comments, and now I remember that the commenter was, how shall I say, usually.... an asshole.

My husband talks to me and I read posts like this one from fun_pair.....and I have to admit, it's true. It's the confidence and an inviting fun personality that mature, confident, kind people can be attracted to. And we have been with couples where the woman was plump or plus sized, and it didn't matter a whit to us. By the same token, one heavier woman in particular who grumbled and complained all night at a club, was deemed 'not sexy at all' by my husband.

We are going to a house party tommorrow night. We know the hosts and there will be a lot of new to us people there as well, and a hottub I'm nervous. But hopefully I will have some words of encouragement and good news to share with y'all

"one toke over the line sweet jesus, one toke over the line......"

[SexhoundDog]

I'm a former weightlifter who has put on a few extra gut pounds myself, and my wife comes from a family of big people plus she's got a few extra. Although we occasionally reminisce over old pictures when we were "hotter", is it really worth the effort to worry about what those who are totally into themselves think?

I still like to pump iron to try and keep in a little shape, but I really got tired of those assholes who spent half their time working out and the other half with their egotistical (or is it insecure maybe?) faces glued to the mirror.

So unless you're grossly overweight, which is also a health issue, I wouldn't worry a lick. My wife's getting some gray and is heavy, but she's probably already forgotten more in bed than some of the so called "hotties" will ever know, and is still one of the two best pieces of tail I've had, and I've had lots.

If hubby thinks you're still hot and others have called you sensual and sexual, you are far better off than lots of women in this world. Believe me, people will find you. And if they don't, it's their loss. Hold your head up high, Luv-Tunes. I'm sure you exude sexuality to those who can sense it, and isn't that who you want to impress anyway?!

[BradAndJanet]

Sexy is a state of mind, not body. If you are fun to be with, have confidence in yourself, can carry on a good conversation and reflect a positive attitude we'll be happy to spend time with you, and if we hit it off, who knows where that will lead It's not really what you look like, it's who you are that will attract us.

We know that everyone isn't like that, of course, and to each their own. But, we don't think that you should be afraid to 'go for it', so to speak. We all will be rejected one time or another. People might think I'm too hairy, too short, too blond, or too something else, but I'll just keep on going and look elsewhere

This link will take you to several threads on the subject. It comes up all the time, believe me.

Be comfortable with yourself and others will be comfortable with you.

-B

[lovers]

I wouldn't sweat it.

In our case, there's a woman who I 'service' on a regular basis while her husband and my wife watch. She's extremely fun to be with both in and out of the bedroom. The fact that she's larger than average is irrelevant to me. It's who she is and how she screws (among other things) that's important.

Bottom line, forget about it and just have fun.

[bear_n_bunny]

Bear is an advid BBW admire, which is great since I'm an BBW. Fun TX is right, there are many groups devoted solely to BBW's across the state. You might try looking for a yahoo group that carters to BBW's in your area.

We've played with both BBW's and older couples and I'd rather spend an evening with them than with some hottie worried about if the guy who's giving an orgasm is good looking enough.

As stated, it's all about attitude. Since the man I love, loves me the way I am, then who gives two hoots about what anyone else thinks.

-- Bunny

[fun_pairTX]

I get a big kick out of the Barbies at clubs competing for "mirror space", I just can't decide if they are funny or sad. Anyone with a smile, a laugh, and a confident sexy attitude blows the skinnies away.

[Elusive BiFem]

Have you ever sat in a restaurant or at the mall or at a ball park and just looked around...wondering to yourself..."hmmm...who would I like to play with? Does this person or that person look interesting to me?"

Unless someone was really exceptional, my general response to myself would be, "Nope. Nope. Nope." Too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, too much hair, not enough hair, dressed funny, dressed too nice...the "con" side of my sheet would fill up real fast with nothing on the "pro" side. I used to wonder why and how I could be interested in the lifestyle when I really didn't find many people "interesting" as potential partners.

I finally figured it out. For me, I need to be "interested" in the person. I need to know the person. I need to like the person for all the parts that I think are really important - mind, heart, spirit, values, their ability to be discreet, common interests other than swining.... After that, physical appearance falls to the bottom of my list.

With that being said, I don't think weight is a primary issue among swingers, at least not the swingers that I would be interested in swinging with. I think we frequently focus on what we perceive to be our own "worst" physical characteristic and think everyone is immediately drawn to that specific thing, when in reality, others often don't even see it. We all have our own "worst."

But that takes us back to self-confidence. If you feel and exude self-confidence about yourself, that is exactly what others will notice. If you like yourself more than anyone else could possibly like you, the self-confidence will follow. The question for you will then become, "Do I want to swing with them" rather than "do they want to swing with me?" -EBF

[Luvs_Tunes]

Thank you to all of you who replied to my post!! You guys have all made me feel alot better about our chances. I really enjoy the experience we have had and want more. I will look into the yahoo groups ... i cant believe i hadn't thought of that since i have been on yahoo for so long LOL Sorry about the length of time it took for me to put in the thank you to all you guys but i have not been able to jump on the computer. This is a great place with a lot of great people chatting. I am sure i will be back more often You guys are all great !!!!!!!!!

Luvs

[bear_n_bunny]

For me, I need to be "interested" in the person. I need to know the person. I need to like the person for all the parts that I think are really important - mind, heart, spirit, values, their ability to be discreet, common interests other than swining.... After that, physical appearance falls to the bottom of my list.

Once again EBF, we fall on the same page. My attraction to someone doesn't really start until I get to know them; male or female. Heck, make me laugh, or smile, or just feel good being with you and I'm yours. I can just about guarantee you that I wouldn't feel that way with someone who was more interested in their hair or whether I was attactive enough to play with, would do it for me. I know that while I'm not barbie, I am a very festive playmate and it's their loss if they aren't willing to go beyond first impressions.

Luv Tunes, I'm glad this thread helped. This board helped me so much when I first started out, before I'd actually gotten naked with someone besides my hubby. It made me feel comfortable with not only myself, but with swinging. These are good people here.

-- Bunny

[yawanna]

so! I went shopping yesterday, the day of the house party, to find some new things to wear. My recent weight gain and the loss of anything even remotely resembling a waist line is a side effect of menopause and since I won't get my medical 'counselling' aka DRUGS for another week, I thought, 'bite the bullet' and buy some casual clothes I can still wear when the meds get my bod back to normal. I mean, I LUV wearing only an old ripped tshirt and my pink slippers, but, I don't think anyone else in the world needs to see this.

so! I wore my new zipper hooded sweatshirt with a fleece short skirt... and OFF we go to the houseparty .

15 or 16 couples (give me a break... it was dark )

Bottom line: I was invited into the hottub by 3 very nice men and we met 2 couples we are going to get together with again. One have called already

We had a blast in the tub, even though Mr called an emergency 'no one move!' cause he'd dropped a lighter....but end of the night, we had a great time meeting a lot of new couples. We were all sizes, ages, weights and it was a total blast

"I submitted one recipe, yes just ONE. I'm scared. Hold me. "

[bear_n_bunny]

Put me down with Sexhoundog; I've been with over thirty women in my lifetime, all shapes and sizes. And the best all-around sex I've ever had was with just two of them; Bunny and an ex-girlfriend, both of whom are BBWs (yeah, there were a few runners-up on the list, but most of them were BBWs, too....

Granted, I've always had a thing for plump women; there's just something about the curves that really do it for me. But if you give me a choice between a BBW and some Barbie clone, I'll take the BBW every time. For one thing, the BBW is far more likely to be a better playmate than Ms. "HWP".

To me, "attractive" is an attitude, as has been pointed out already. I've seen women that, if looked at dispassionately and by society's prevailing standards of beauty, would be considered good looking. But I wouldn't touch 'em with a ten-foot pole, because of their attitude and personality. (The eyes are the window to the soul and will tell all once you know how to look; never forget that.)

On the other hand, I've known BBWs, women that some would not look at twice because of their size, that to me, were incredibly sexy and attractive, and I'd jump through a lot of hoops to worship at the altar of their loveliness...

And one of the reasons they were so desirable was because they by God knew they were, and it showed.

And that says it all...

-- Bear

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by yawanna
so! I went shopping yesterday, the day of the house party, to find some new things to wear. My recent weight gain and the loss of anything even remotely resembling a waist line is a side effect of menopause and since I won't get my medical 'counselling' aka DRUGS for another week, I thought, 'bite the bullet' and buy some casual clothes I can still wear when the meds get my bod back to normal. I mean, I LUV wearing only an old ripped tshirt and my pink slippers, but, I don't think anyone else in the world needs to see this.

so! I wore my new zipper hooded sweatshirt with a fleece short skirt... and OFF we go to the houseparty .

"I submitted one recipe, yes just ONE. I'm scared. Hold me. "

Couple of questions, here. So you think the menopausal loss of your waist line will be corrected with drugs? Come here, my dear...I need to discuss this with you. Since I started the menopausal drugs, my waist is bigger than my hips and boobs! Yikes!! And as for those crunches and things? All I can say is my neck is well-toned.

Then the sweatshirt thing with a fleece skirt? In August? Is it cool up there?

And recipes...OK, OK...did the bouillabaisse get sent in? I'm glad you had a terrific time in the hot tub and all, and I think it's great that you met some new people and one couple has already called...but let's remember the priorities here, Bouillabaisse, bouillabaisse, bouillabaissee.... You might want to ask your new friends if they have any recipes.

Seriously!! Glad to know you had such a great time and met some new people. Head 'em over to the Board when the time is right. - EBF

[yawanna]

One word... "homeopathy" Although< i have to say that now I'd be FINE if I stayed this size.. doesn't seem to matter to anyone but ME. Gawd, eh? Live and learn

YES I sent in bouillabaise (say THAT 3 times fast lol)... but I did. And Julie confirmed.

At the house party, we met the most amazing woman... she was 6' tall and all amazon I swear! .. she was a BIG girl....and.. just 27 years old! and her partner..... 6'4", and 40! They were just wonderful.....sat with her a good portion of the evening and just whispered and giggled.... such goofs we were but in a good way

This house party was our second and seems to work best for us in lifestyle activities... all I can say is we are today



in a good way.

yes.. thankfully..... the temperatures have dropped to 23C finally and I knew we'd be stumbling home in the early morning hours after hottubbing, etc. and I always like to have something warm to cuddle up into on the drive home (besides hubby). Luckily.. I wore my red brocade bra... seems to go well with the dark blew errrr blue skirt