Freaking out about first meeting with couple

[NaughtyKitten]

Well, we have had a busy week since posting our ad on Swing Lifestyle. We have had over 800 hits on it so far and quite a lot of mail. We have been corresponding with one couple everyday for most of this week and we are meeting them tomorrow night for drinks at a local bar. We seem to have great chemistry in writing and an awful lot in common. I've have been really excited for the past few days, until today. Now I'm a nervous wreck! It just happened so fast. I'm freaking out a little. Not that I want to call it off, I don't. All the stars seems to be in alignment with this couple, rules, boundries, preferences have all been discussed and agreed. I have a really good feeling about them. I'm just a jumble of nerves.

I'm sending a call out to all you experienced couples. What was your first meeting like and how did you get over the nerves? I need some encouragment. Give me a pep talk! HELP

[Miss_Piggy]

Our first meet can really be credited to the attitudes of the couple we met. They are a very understanding couple. Thinking back it seemed that they always knew the right thing to say to make us feel relaxed.

The only advice I can give you is to remind you that you're just meeting a couple of people. Be yourself and set out with the sole task of getting to know them. You shouldn't at any time feel pressured in any way. Most likely you will have a fun time meeting two open minded friendly people.

Have fun and good luck.

[hamlet]

First of all, give yourself some points for proceeding with prudence. We were so entranced by the whole notion of swinging that we jumped right in, feet first, without bothering to remove our concrete bathing suits. In other words, our first experience was an on-premises club in New York City, and we were just overwhelmed. You, on the other hand, are starting with just one couple--a couple whom you've established some rapport with, and whose names you actually know. This is a much more promising scenario.

Second, starting with swinging is a lot like starting with sex: there's no way to do it except to do it. It's almost certain to feel awkward at first--but, just like losing your virginity, it's the doorway to a lot of future fun.

Third, remember that swinging involves breaking about 1,013 taboos that are deeply engrained in us all, and you're not unlikely to have a powerful emotional response, as on some subconscious level you're expecting to be struck down by lightning. You're taking your clothes off in front of multiple strangers, you're violating all those vows of sexual exclusiveness which we were all bred to consider as the basis of true love, and you may even be interacting with a member of the same sex--at which point you wouldn't be surprised if Charlton Heston himself appeared with the stone tablets of the Ten Commandments and dropped them on your head. There's simply no way to go through all this without feeling rattled. Indeed, the very fact that you're nervous is a good sign--it indicates that you understand what you're signing up for, which means you might be less overwhelmed when it actually happens.

Most importantly, though, remember that you're not making this perilous journey all by yourself: if you've got the kind of solid relationship that's conducive to successful swinging, that means that you've got your best friend by your side. And it sounds like you've got a couple of friendly people there as well--time will tell whether they actually become your friends, but "friendly" is a good start. It sounds like you've done everything one ought to do in preparing to meet these folks (extensive correspondence, laying out your boundaries and your rules) and I think you'll have a good time this time--and an even better time next time.

Bon voyage!

Hamlet

[WesternSwing]

Our very first meeting was strange, but it was the couple, not the meeting part. At least it ended-up strange and nothing could, or would have happened between us.

Everyone we've met since has been fantastic, though.

First, don't put too much thought into it. You don't have to have sex with them just because you met over dinner or drinks. Same holds true if they insist on buying those drinks or dinners. It's exciting to meet new people, and that is the best part for us. We don't hit it off sexually with everyone we meet, and at that we've only hooked-up with one couple on a first date. So don't put too much into the first meeting. Just have fun, and enjoy getting out of your usual circle of friends.

Good luck!

Mr. WS

[Mike and Jan]

Hey, you were this nervous on your first date years ago, right? Same thing! This is a first date. Only this time it's a double date with your best friend..., your husband.

Remember that he's nervous too and it's quite natural for both of you to be. If you weren't nervous then you wouldn't be excited about it. Sounds to me like you're both going to have fun regardless of what happens. Enjoy! I envy you both.
Rich

[ALilOEverything]

It's totally natural to feel so nervous. I was fine with it until the day of and then my stomach was tied in knots. During the drive I almost felt like I couldn't go through with it and wished we could just turn around and forget the whole thing. I'm sure they could tell I was nervous but after 5 minutes of meeting I was back to my old self and all the butterflies were gone. Every meeting got a little easier and now that I'm used to it I'm excited and can't wait, right up to the very last minute.

This will get easier with time. It's scary making your fantasies reality. Take some deep breaths and realize this too shall pass.

[NaughtyKitten]

Thank you everyone! I feel much better now. Your comments were just what I needed to hear. And a good night sleep helped a lot. This board is great. 12 hours till our meeting. I can't wait!

[ALilOEverything]

Good luck! You'll have to tell us all about it

[jennandjamesinm]

Let us know how it goes....we are getting ready to have our first meeting next weekend with a couple that we have been chatting with from Swing Lifestyle, so we can relate to your nervousness.

Jenn and James

[NaughtyKitten]

OMAGOD! Our first meeting was way more than I could have expected. First of all, I have to back up in the story. I started my period yesterday and was just mortified to have to tell them something like that before we had even met. I explained before the big meeting and I guess she was worried that she would start, too, and was just glad it wasn't her. So everyone was cool with it if not a bit disappointed, most of all me. We met anyway because the meeting was more about finding out if we had chemistry. We did, in everyway that we had hoped, me and him, hubby and her, and me and her. The conversation flowed effortlessly. There was a lot of flirting and covert touching, and later kissing. We kind of forgot we were in a vanilla bar. I think we raised a few eyebrows because people knew we swapped partners, and because she and I were kissing. It was a wonderful night and we are definately meeting again. I could not have asked for a better first experience. I woke up with a big smile on my face, even though, I also had a raging hangover. Thanks for the encouragement!

[SBcpl]

Congratulations! On such a successful beginning.

Sounds like you're about to embark on a really fun and exciting journey!

~ A & B ~

[ALilOEverything]

That's fabulous! What a great way to start. I know all about raising eyebrows in vanilla bars now... isn't that so much fun

[BradAndJanet]

Originally Posted by ALilOEverything

That's fabulous! What a great way to start. I know all about raising eyebrows in vanilla bars now... isn't that so much fun

It's my new mission in life!

NaughtyKitten, I am so very happy for you. The next meeting's going to be fun, I can tell.

-B

[NaughtyKitten]

Just talked with our new friends. We are all so anxious to see each other again that we are going over to their place tonight.

[NaughtyKitten]

Update:
We have had 3 dates so far and due to female issues on both sides we have yet to get to the full monty, so to speak. That day is tomorrow. Here I go freaking out again. I'm so excited but sooooo nervous too. Everytime we have been together it has been great. We have so much chemistry. I'm sure it will be a good first experience. I'll post again on sunday to let you all know how it went. Tomorrow I will be so busy with all the preparations that hopefully I won't have time to fret about it. Gotta do the very thoruogh date shave etc.

Send me your best wishes. I need all the positive energy I can get right now.