Let Wife's boss touch her while she was passed out

[biblonde]

OHHH I didnt suggest he go to jail I was saying that it was something that could happen. It is illegal to molest someone was my point. Even if the spouse gave permission. This is an issue that I truely believe that shouldnt be taken lightly. You trust that your spouse will protect you wether it be the wife or the hubby. HE willingly let another man molest his wife knowing she didnt like the other man and SHE WAS PASSED OUT therefore there was no concent given. I know I have 100% trust that my hubby will keep me safe..and he knows I watch out for him. Breaking this kind of trust is almost inforgiveable to me! He said that he wasnt even sure he would have stopped the Boss if he wanted to go further which would have been rape...plain and simple. And you..tibbles....thinks she should forgive him in time?? There are things that can be forgiven...like cheating...but this way crosses the line.

[twoplayful2]

Originally Posted by biblonde

Breaking this kind of trust is almost inforgiveable to me!

To you, yeah, exactly. The point is that people react different, place different values on different things.

Lots of things are illegal. Someone might flip out if their spouse were speeding or smoked pot or whatever, where other people don't see it quite the same way. I'm not saying your response to a situation like this one would be an over-reaction, but implying that everyone must feel the same way you do about it or they must be crazy or something definitely is.

[themonster]

"OHHH I didnt suggest he go to jail I was saying that it was something that could happen. It is illegal to molest someone was my point."


...... c'mon now, you can't have it both ways......either he has done something he should go to jail for or he hasn't. Someone who molests, or allows it to happen SHOULD ABSOLUTELY go to jail....no if's and's or but's. But that's not what happened here.....in a moment of altered thinking, pervertedly kinky heat of the moment bad judgement some person allowed a booby to get sucked. Holy shit I bet that booby will never be able to be used again. Never again will it come to see the light of day, never again will it be able to be felt by another's hand, never again will it.....well you get my point. That lil' booby will be just fine.....

He SHOULD get his ass chewed out just the same as if he had done one of the many other things he has and will continue to do wrong or innappropriately as all people do. Now if he makes the same mistake again.....yeah....now he deserves to be left, but in my opinion anyone who says they'd leave their spouse over one big foul-up is either not thinking straight, lying, wanting to sound super tough and in control, or just plain doesn't have that strong of a connection in their relationship. I would NEVER and I repeat NEVER leave my wife for one act of indiscretion or screw up. Everyone is entitled to screw up.....just learn from it and don't do it again. And I believe that this is exactly what Mr. Showmywife'stits is in the process of doing.

Is the trust issue gonna be there for a while? Sure, probably so, but let's all (most of the respondants) just breeeeaaathhe...and remember the perspective thing.


What I'm most surprised about is that given today's overreacting greedy-ass do anything for a buck society that there has been no discussion of suing the boss for 100 million dollars for "pain and suffering".

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by themonster

What I'm most surprised about is that given today's overreacting greedy-ass do anything for a buck society that there has been no discussion of suing the boss for 100 million dollars for "pain and suffering".

No but I'd sue his perverted ass if he even batted an eye at me in the office for sexualy harrassment!! I think I'd tell him too the first time I saw him after finding out about the incident. I'd make him more nervous and uncomfortable at work then I would be.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[BradAndJanet]

Originally Posted by Mrs Spoomonkey

... I think I'd tell him too the first time I saw him after finding out about the incident. I'd make him more nervous and uncomfortable at work then I would be.

Mrs Spoomonkey

I kinda like that idea.

On the other hand, it was pretty creepy what he did and I think I'd try find another job as soon as I could.

-B

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by BradAndJanet

On the other hand, it was pretty creepy what he did and I think I'd try find another job as soon as I could.

Dito I might be compelled to look for another husband, too.

I don't know who I'd have less respect for: My husband or my employer.

The entire scenerio gives me the heebie-jeebies. :rollseyes

[tribbles]

Vespertine,
you either married a saint, or are young and haven't been together long. (If a saint, congrats, most of us are just real screw ups when young). My POV is that after 25yrs there are LOTS of stupid wrong hurtful stuff in our past that we learned from, got closer because we had to work thru it, and have helped us built a good relationship. Forgivness and understanding go a long way to keeping people together (and might even stop wars!)

[Vespertine]

We're fairly young, been married about 10 years. I didn't marry a saint, but I married a man that has total respect for me: mind, body and soul, as I do him.

I agree, people screw up- and we learn from our mistakes, but some things are intolerable. Giving my employer, that I've specifically expressed disinterest in, permission to remove my top, caress and suckle my breasts, while I'm incapacitated crosses the line.

[biblonde]

Well I have to say I have been with hubby 23 YEARS!!! and yes he and I have both done stupid things. BUT never would he disrespect me in this way...NEVER EVER! and as for those that said well..there are other things illegal that you could get upset about also... well sorry they dont even come close to hubby letting a man that was often told NO to...MOLEST me. you can sugar coat it anyway you want...rape=rape=rape....molest=molest=molest!!! Luckily I married a REAL man that totally respects my body and my life. This guy was willing to allow his wife's boss to do as he pleased and even said he probably would have let it go further...This guy would be out the door..if not more. Sorry I dont think it is okay to be with a man that I cant trust to protect me. The next time he may allow this person or some other one to actually rape her...why would anyone feel like this is someone she should stay with?? I just dont get it. I guess I respect myself to much to allow such crap!

[twoplayful2]

lol, okay, okay...obviously this guys one step away from being a serial rapist himself You're correct, the rest of us should have no right at all to feel differently than you do, we should be completely appalled, we have no legit reason to think anything else and anyone who does obviously has something wrong with them. Both men involved should be locked up and throw away the keys! There ya go! Some excellent points made by you that apparenty nobody else her can dispute.

[EvilMJ]

It's hard to comprehend the mentality that accuses the woman of having done anything wrong in this particular situation. It doesn't matter how drunk you are, that does NOT give anyone the right to rape, molest, manhandle, what have you. She has done absolutely nothing wrong.

He voilated her trust, he allowed a man (who she repeatedly rejected) who was in a position of power in her work life purposely use her in a sexual manner. She now has to face this man on a day to day basis...her husband does not.

Maybe she will be able to find it in her heart to work through this and forgive him. I don't think it is possible to make light of this matter, it is quite serious and I think her husband needs to come to the realization that his wife is not something that he can hand around to just any horney old bastard that wants a lick, it doesn't work that way. When you get married you made a promise to love and support that person. Sure my husband has made mistakes, so have I, and we forgave each other. But this is beyond the realm of stupid mistakes.

I think it is natural that we are all going to have differing opinons but I don't think you have to be married a long time or be of any particular age to realize that this guy was wrong. This isn't a case of hubby got drunk and made a fool of himself, it is a case of allowing his wife to be used in a way that is both demeaning and disrespectful. - there is only so much forgiveness to go around and some situations crack the foundation of a marriage so badly that you can't repair it.

[biblonde]

twoplayful2....dispute away...it doesnt bother me any! I am just making a point..which I feel strongly about. I as a woman would be beyond furious with hubby if he allowed such a thing. It is not just a stupid mistake made by hubby but in fact he allowed and gave permission for his wife to be asulted...and now isnt telling her about it. This boss sees her everyday and she has no idea that this man whom she regected over and over again did this. I never once called this man "someone on the edge of being a serial rapist" But HE is the one who said he let his wife be molested with his permision..walks like a duck..quacks like a duck..hmmmm must be a duck. I have way to much respect (as does my hubby) to say that this is okay!! IT IS BEYOND WRONG!!!! More women should defend themselves against this being okay. And more men should be disgusted at this....THAT IS MY OPINION!!! take it or leave it I really dont care! those that think this is no big deal I have have to say is THANK GOD!! I am not married to you! I want to know that I am protected from creaps like this. If you cant trust your own spouse to keep you safe then who can you??

[Vespertine]

I asked my husband his opinion of this scenario.

He believes this is sexual assault. Period. He also said that even if the husband gave the boss 'permission', it doesn't make it any less of a sexual assault. The husband doesn't own his wife's body, so his permission means jack squat. It's her body, not his. She decides.

He also thinks it's in the realm of unforgivable mistakes to make.

[biblonde]

As the Mr. of BB, I cannot believe how someone could think the action by this girls boss could be anywhere close to an excusable act. Those with a low level of moral fiber may want to come up with excuses however, the law would see this act in a different light and if charges were pressed, there would be two men behind bars. Yes, the husband handled this poorly, but her boss (the person in power over her employment for those of you in West Palm Beach) commited a crime. That my friends is inexcuseable.

The Mr.

[tribbles]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

It's hard to comprehend the mentality that accuses the woman of having done anything wrong in this particular situation. It doesn't matter how drunk you are, that does NOT give anyone the right to rape, molest, manhandle, what have you. She has done absolutely nothing wrong.

Thinking that getting drunk to the point of passing out at a company party does nothing to harm the relationship is being blind to the effects of drug abuse and alcohol abuse on a relationship, IMO. As others have said in this thread, she is at fault as well.

Vespertine-I'm glad you and your hubby view it the same way since it means you two are in tune. Be aware that others of who view it differently are no less in tune and no more right or wrong except for themselves. NO ONE has said what he did was right. That has not been an issue. It's more a matter of degree of wrongness (speeding vs killing...big difference) that we are discussing. And how each of us could forgive or not forgive errors in judgement.

twoplayful2

I doubt if the penal system could afford to put them behind bars, biblonde. Maybe probation and court ordered counseling? I want my tax dollars spend locking up the truly dangerous ones. As for marrying a REAL man...what, you think the rest of the males aren't really XY? Since there are more screw ups than saints, maybe it's those you call real men who are XYY? Genetic testing is available (Ok tongue in cheek....it's just one of those nutty social buttons that is pointless to push in a discussion other than to stir up emotion..IMO again)