Let Wife's boss touch her while she was passed out

[justflyin]

I'm totally new here, but this one is a humdinger alright! The boss is a pig for sure! He got what he wanted, to suck your wife's tits AND he got a nod from you that you were okay with it. Obviously nobody got the only okay that really mattered, the one from your wife. Now a "fat old man" who is her boss, who has probably pictured her naked time and time again prior to this not only now knows exactly what your wife, Wendy's bare tits look, feel and taste like, he also knows her husband didn't mind. Odds are while he has surely gotten off to this he will continue to hit on her even more and try to go farther.

[twoplayful2]

Maybe everyone was boozed up to some degree and that factored in all of your decisions...it's not really *that* big a deal, yet it was wrong and you should definitely tell her. Depending on what type of person she is she might get pretty pissed, she might be pretty understanding. Tell her you were boozed up some (?) and made a dumb decision.

But I do hope she does still someday give you total uncontrolled swinger pleasure cuz whatever the heck that is I want to hear the details!!

[curiousagain]

Seems like most everything that needs to be said has been. But, I have to ditto that she will hear about it from somebody at some point. The earlier she hears about it from YOU, the better it will be for everybody.

Alcohol is like a lot of things, it can be medicine or poison, depending on the amount used. It may have been a factor in poisoning your relationship with your wife in this instance. Let her know you goofed, why, etc. Don't forget she's evidently was pretty blitzed herself and her boss is the lowest of the low in my opinion.

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by jr555666

You are right i failed her. I don't think he is a swinger and as far as i know he has no idea we have. he's just a horny selfish guy who saw an opening and went for it. he had hit on her several times before and she wanted no part. Wendy is a very attractive, fit gal who is more than young enough to be his daughter, not that age really matters. but he did look to me for an ok and i gave it to him. i'm trying to figure out why i did. i know it was wrong on every level. and i regret it. but in that moment i got lost in, i was almost glad this fat old guy got to see her chest. i know, that is awful! what is scary is thinking about if i would have let it go farther ... but yes, i need to tell her and before tomorrow when she goes to work.

Not that it wasn't bad already but knowing he had made advances toward her and she refused him and then you let him get away with that! You should have looked him in the eye and said "I believe my wife has said no to before so the answer is still NO! I can take care of her from here" and then made him leave the room.

You need to hope your wife is more forgiving then I would be this is a major breech of trust and security. You need to be thinking of how you're going to earn her trust again, and brace yourself it may take a long, long time.

I feel sorry for your wife, I can't imagine trying to work everyday with my boss knowing he got away with something (allowed by my spouse) that I had flat out let him know there was no way.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[justflyin]

Just throwing this out there, but since her boss is someone she had no attraction to and works with everyday maybe it's worse for her to know he saw and played with her tits? Maybe talk to the boss and tell him to keep it quiet? Just thinking about saving her from feeling very awkward, not realy trying to promote lying. Of course, she is probably already at work now and you KNOW her boss is going to go out of his way to see her if only to try and relive the event. But if he can keep quiet .... maybe for him it was enough to just finally see and touch her chest, since he didn't try to more and nothing more will happen? Just a different perspective offered here.

[invisibletouch]

I wonder if the boss had wanted more than a feel and taste of her tits, if you'd have let him do whatever he wanted?

You mentioned you're glad that nothing more happened which means you may have allowed it-am I reading that wrong?

I don't know about others but to me this is just too damn close to you giving her boss consent for rape/molestation!! Yes it ended at the tits but if inappropriate (due to her being unconcious) touching, licking & kissing took place then I would feel very much like I'd been pimped out by my husband! Dentists have been imprisoned for touching, fondling & intimately kissing their drugged up patients-why is this any different? In fact to me it's worse-she trusted you; the man she loves, to protect her when she needed you and you betrayed her trust totally! Especially since you already knew this man was NOT someone she wanted to play with or found appealing!!

[justflyin]

Not that it really matters I guess since it's the fact you let him have any contact, but how long did he feel her and look and you said he gave each a kiss, or did he suck on them? It wouldn't change any opinions that what you did was wrong, was just curious here.

[bluedragoness]

Originally Posted by invisibletouch

I wonder if the boss had wanted more than a feel and taste of her tits, if you'd have let him do whatever he wanted?

You mentioned you're glad that nothing more happened which means you may have allowed it-am I reading that wrong?

I don't know about others but to me this is just too damn close to you giving her boss consent for rape/molestation!! Yes it ended at the tits but if inappropriate (due to her being unconcious) touching, licking & kissing took place then I would feel very much like I'd been pimped out by my husband! Dentists have been imprisoned for touching, fondling & intimately kissing their drugged up patients-why is this any different? In fact to me it's worse-she trusted you; the man she loves, to protect her when she needed you and you betrayed her trust totally! Especially since you already knew this man was NOT someone she wanted to play with or found appealing!!

I couldnt have said it better, and who is to say she doesnt already know about it from this thread and just waiting for you to own up..


Just have to say, if Mr Blue did this to me , there would be no swinging or marriage, that is a total breech of trust!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by jr555666

...he's just a horny selfish guy who saw an opening and went for it.

Think about it. You've described yourself.

...but he did look to me for an ok and i gave it to him. i'm trying to figure out why i did...i was almost glad this fat old guy got to see her chest.

Because you're a horny selfish guy who was turned on and empowered by handing your wife to her boss - a "fat old guy."

...what is scary is thinking about if i would have let it go farther...

If you're thinking about it now, you were considering it then.


I'll admit that I feel like kicking your butt. At the same time the less emotional side of my head thinks this:

You've shown remorse and are not defending your actions. This is positive. You have only shared one tiny part of your life with us here and I must consider this to keep things in perspective. You and your wife will have to compare this event to how your relationship has gone up to now. If there is enough good, then this error in judgment can be dealt with in a way that could move you to a better place in life. Hopefully, you'll both grow through this individually, and as a couple.

LM

[BiDrywallChick]

Originally Posted by jr555666

You are right i failed her. I don't think he is a swinger and as far as i know he has no idea we have. he's just a horny selfish guy who saw an opening and went for it. he had hit on her several times before and she wanted no part. Wendy is a very attractive, fit gal who is more than young enough to be his daughter, not that age really matters. but he did look to me for an ok and i gave it to him. i'm trying to figure out why i did. i know it was wrong on every level. and i regret it. but in that moment i got lost in, i was almost glad this fat old guy got to see her chest. i know, that is awful! what is scary is thinking about if i would have let it go farther ... but yes, i need to tell her and before tomorrow when she goes to work.

Disclaimer: I am not one of the nice people on the board

You really fucked up dude, on several points.

1) Although your wife should have been in control of her actions, she was not in a position to give consent or even decide to say yes or no.. stop or go. You as her husband, no matter the type of relationship should have stood up for your wife and said no.

2) You KNEW she didn't want anything to do with him in that way, yet you allowed it to happen. In many states, you allowed her to be raped, sexually assualted ect. What on earth where you thinking/ Perhaps you weren't and that is the problem

3) you put her career in jepardy. No longer is she going to be reviewed as an employee by her boss, she is going to be rated as a sex object. That is not a good thing. No matter what she does, he will always look at her as the drunk woman he got a cheap feel off of because her husband was too much of a puss to say no.

4) you aren't even truely sorry. You are not really ashamed of what you did, just more ashamed that you are going to get caught because she will find out. Someone is going to tell her, if not her boss, then someone he told or through the office rumor mill. You have degraded her beyond what most people can repair. All I get from you is that you treated her like your property. You were showing off to the boss " Look what is mine. You can't have it. I own it. I can do with this piece of flesh what I want. You can touch her but I say what goes. she has no say. I own her". You showed her no respect, no love and bottom line, you put her in harms way. No because her boss is going to hurt her, but you have wounded her emotionally.

I am a firm believer that problems in a marriage can be worked out if both parties are willing. however, I will tell you this, be glad that you dont live in this house. You best tell her before she finds out from someone else. You are going to be in a living hell for awhile, if she keeps ya. Trust is a hard thing to build back up. You best have good knee pads for the groveling you are going to do. Kiss the ground she walks on if she doesnt put your ass out on the curb.

[biblonde]

Truthfully if my boss had done anymore than to show my hubby where I could lay down he would have had his ass kicked right then and there by hubby...and if he allowed this to happen to me I would have kicked his ass and sent him on his way. As active swingers it still doesnt give permission to fondle or even look! You are suppose to keep your wife safe especially when she can't look after herself! You and MR. Boss being drunk as well is no excuse in my book!!!!! from what you have said this man seems the type to BRAG about what he was allowed to do and therefore your wife will become a peice of meat at work instead of an employee! Just because she is pretty she gets hit on but...now you alowed him to touch and kiss or whatever now makes her FREE MEAT! What is to say he wont try more at work and inform her that you allowed him to play with her breasts. He got the okay to do what he wanted in front of you so to him he has permission to do as he pleases whenever he wants....Did you not think of her safety at work. How will you explain yourself when he tries to rape her because you already know good and well she isnt interested in him!!!! Some men think that if hubby doesnt care it is cool to touch...or whatever when ever they feel like it...or if she turns him down now..will it cost her her job???

YOU disgust me to no end!! I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but geez..what the hell were you thinking???? And please dont use the ole..i was drinking crap! doesnt work with me!! You better let your wife know what happened so she can defend herself since God knows you wont defend her!

[kevin&danielle]

Well I'm sure you have gotten all the advice you need or may even want. I would like to refer back to a comment concerning you talking to your wife's boss. I do think that you should approach him and tell him it was a terrible mistake on yours and his part to behave the way you two did and I personally would make it very clear that any comments from him to your wife or anyone else concerning the incidence would cause major problems between you and him.

Kevin

[justflyin]

Somehow, i don't think we will hear an update, with all the strong "advice" LOL Guess that will teach him not to do something like that again, and not to let anyone touch his wife like that either.

[WoodyInSoCal]

Look everyone, this is pretty simple.

She was incapacitated. She was in the care of her husband who contributed to her molestation.

He betrayed her trust.

If she were concious and agreed, that would have been a totally different thing.

Boss or no boss all the husband had to do was say "no" and that would have been the end of it.

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by kevin&danielle

Well I'm sure you have gotten all the advice you need or may even want. I would like to refer back to a comment concerning you talking to your wife's boss. I do think that you should approach him and tell him it was a terrible mistake on yours and his part to behave the way you two did and I personally would make it very clear that any comments from him to your wife or anyone else concerning the incidence would cause major problems between you and him.

Kevin

I don't think he has that kind of power to threaten the boss that there would be problems between the two of them. He let the boss do it, if he goes to him now the boss is going to laugh at him. I mean what is he going to do, threaten to take him to court? The boss had permission from the husband, so he is just as if not more guilty than the boss.

Mrs Spoomonkey