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MikeandSheri

Everyone seems to go to a full swap eventually?

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From what we are reading it seems as though most couples eventually move up to full swaps. Have any couples stayed at girl/girl, same room fun?

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I don't know about everyone, but it sure seems like the whole point of everything. There are all different types of people out there that fall in to the swinging category though. There are plenty where only one partner participates, some who just like to watch others and some who just like to be watched. There are no hard and fast rules for what everyone does. It does seem to me that most are probably there for full swap group sex, but that does not mean everyone.

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We have known a couple...they don't want to cross that line and keep full to just each other (selfish bastards...:lol:). Swinging is whatever you both decide to make it, and it's okay.

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Guest FunintheSnow

We've met a couple of couples who stop at oral. They've each been in the LS a couple of years.

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So what if "everybody" does this or that? Go at your own speed, enjoy what you like and don't let anyone pressure you.

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We're not particularly experienced, but we started with oral because it was something she was comfortable with and something I really enjoyed watching her do. When we did play with other couples, nobody pressured us about it, but we did move forward on our own.

 

Do what you want to do, don't do anything you don't want to do, and have fun. As a man, I'd hardly be in a position to whine if Mrs. E wanted to have a session of strictly girl/girl same-room fun.

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So what if "everybody" does this or that? Go at your own speed, enjoy what you like and don't let anyone pressure you.

 

Probably the best advice. Like I said, there is no one thing that everyone does anyway. Each person involved in this has their own tastes and preferences. Sure, maybe most end up there, but that doesn't matter. You are there for what you are there for and everyone else, no matter what they are in to should respect that and give you your space. If they don't, if they are pressuring you or something, just remove yourself and forget about them.

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We've definitely met people who were only soft swap or only exhibitionists who had been in the lifestyle for many years. Just so you are honest with people you meet and with each other, you will be fine.

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I'll second what many others have said, and that is to do what you are comfortable with. If that changes at some point in the future, then fine, if it doesn't change, then that's totally fine too.

 

I suspect what causes some couples to move to full swap who initially thought they wouldn't is one of two things. First would be swinging is like everything else, you start off as a beginner and then the more you do it, the better and more comfortable you get at it, and the better you are at something, then the more daring you get. The second would be strictly numbers. There are more full swap couples than any other group, and so it's easier to find compatible playmates when you are fishing in the ocean with the most fish. Finding playmates can be a frustrating process even for full swap couples, and so I think the natural tendency is to start to cut some corners as the frustration builds. Not saying cutting corners is particularly wise, but I think a lot of us would admit to having done it, especially when new. You have your mind set that you want to try this swinging thing in a very particular way that you have envisioned, and then when you can't find the perfect setup, then you eventually start to look for alternatives just so you can get that ice broke.

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I would say absolutely not.

 

There are a number of couples we know where she either only plays with others, or that are only soft swap.

 

People certainly have different comfort levels.

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I suspect what causes some couples to move to full swap who initially thought they wouldn't is one of two things. First would be swinging is like everything else, you start off as a beginner and then the more you do it, the better and more comfortable you get at it, and the better you are at something, then the more daring you get. The second would be strictly numbers. There are more full swap couples than any other group, and so it's easier to find compatible playmates when you are fishing in the ocean with the most fish. Finding playmates can be a frustrating process even for full swap couples, and so I think the natural tendency is to start to cut some corners as the frustration builds. Not saying cutting corners is particularly wise, but I think a lot of us would admit to having done it, especially when new. You have your mind set that you want to try this swinging thing in a very particular way that you have envisioned, and then when you can't find the perfect setup, then you eventually start to look for alternatives just so you can get that ice broke.

 

I would suggest that this is probably a very astute assessment and somewhat mirrors our own experience.

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When the Mrs. and I started talking about swinging, we tried to look further down the road, and asked ourselves the same question. We didn't worry about doing something we would feel uncomfortable with in the moment, but is there a slipper slope? I think there is. Its all but inevitable, that when you set off to explore, you end up in a place you don't expect. As its commonly stated, don't break your own rules while playing, but expect to revisit them later. Most couples limits and boundaries change. I believe most couples start out soft swap but ultimately have a goal of full swap or beyond.

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We originally only wanted another girl. My husband wanted to watch. We couldn't find that girl and met a couple. We knew there were other couples who wanted what we originally searched for and we started answering ads for couples looking for a third. We were very open and told each that my husband would be there just to watch. Most of these were for threesomes and some were written by husbands who said their wives of girlfriends wanted to be with a woman. Some ended up just me and the wife, most were threesomes and some invited my husband to join.

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Guest

We started with MFM after another couple had approached us with some joining them, but emphasizing that she was bi. I had not done the bi thing and was not comfortable with the idea so after much discussion with hubby, decided I was more than willing to try MFM. After we did several, we moved to full swaps (MF MF) and was quite comfortable with that as well. Still can’t quite get into the bi girl thing although we have tried and enjoy other group activities as well. I think, like so many things in life, its part of growth, you get in the pool, you learn to swim, go in the deep end, add in diving, move to the ocean, snorkel the reefs, etc.

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We started with MFM after another couple had approached us with some joining them, but emphasizing that she was bi. I had not done the bi thing and was not comfortable with the idea so after much discussion with hubby, decided I was more than willing to try MFM. After we did several, we moved to full swaps (MF MF) and was quite comfortable with that as well. Still can’t quite get into the bi girl thing although we have tried and enjoy other group activities as well. I think, like so many things in life, its part of growth, you get in the pool, you learn to swim, go in the deep end, add in diving, move to the ocean, snorkel the reefs, etc.

 

I love this metaphor and have used it myself. After three visits to the swingers club and another one tomorrow night I say that we are currently in up to our upper thighs and so far the water feels fine. Who knows maybe tomorrow night we will learn to "swim" for the first time.

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I thought it was a great metaphor too since it accurately conveys the progression that is swinging, and also how comfort at one level leads to trying the next and on up the ladder until you get to where feels like your limit, and that's a good place to be...not too little, not too much.

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