adamgunn 1,456 Posted September 9, 2019 My wife and I have a satisfying sex life, we love to screw each other. But sometimes, to enhance our experience, we use dildos, vibrators and other sex toys. We also enjoy MFM threesomes, where we bring another man into our bedroom for Mary’s pleasure. It occurs to me that, in a sense, we treat them as another sex toy, enjoying them for what they bring to the mattress but not expecting them to be more than that. Let me digress for a second - we know we won’t ever see most of our single men partners again, significantly more than half the men we meet don’t have a repeat with us. There are many reasons, but they can be winnowed down to two: either they don’t satisfy my wife enough to be invited back, or they choose to be simply one and done guys. That’s fine with us, we’re not looking for FWBs but simply an erotic encounter. And thus, particularly the first time, we treat them as a sex toy. Mary likes feeling his body rub against hers with new sensations, she likes the sight and sounds of someone she’s unfamiliar with, she revels in the new smells and tastes. She’s out to get screwed. We make the assumption that the basic reason he's there is he wants to screw Mary. Now, having said that, we also try to respect our new ‘sex toy.’ We always meet the man at a bar first and try to have a pleasant talk. (If we don’t have a nice talk, or there’s no chemistry between Mary and the guy, it won’t go any further.) If we invite him home I open up my craft beer, a nice bottle of wine or fix him the drink of his choice. We try to make him comfortable. If he has a sexual request we’ll try to make it happen, assuming it’s something we’re into. We want him to have as good a time in bed with my wife as she’s having. But, in the end, it’s ‘just sex.’ We don’t expect he’ll turn into a regular, but when it does we then take it to the next level, showing him that we care about him as a person. Does this make us bad people? 5 Quote Share this post Link to post
adamgunn 1,456 Posted September 9, 2019 Nudist we would define my wife as a hotwife, with the two of us in a stag/vixen relationship, not cuckolding. At the same time, we are swingers, participating in MFMF foursomes and some other play in moresomes and/or orgies. I don't believe the two terms, swingers and hotwife, are mutually exclusive. And to answer the next question, our activities are about 60% swinging, 40$ hotwifing. Quote Share this post Link to post
Napoleon 232 Posted September 9, 2019 Can your wives and girlfriends be called sex toys also other men? "Hey sex toy, show me your breast and come suck my dick while your husband/boyfriend watch." Quote Share this post Link to post
Anon321 481 Posted September 20, 2019 I don't see what the problem is here. My GF has one and dones and regulars and she treats all of them like sex toys when it comes to sex and they treat her the same way. Some of them might be our friends outside of the bedroom as well but when it comes to sex it is just that - sex. It goes both ways. Quote Share this post Link to post
Fla-swing99 136 Posted September 21, 2019 This is the Mrs replying. I don't think it's bad at all or makes you bad people. In essence, inviting a SM to join you and your husband for an MFM is for exactly that reason....sex. They are in a way just a "toy" for you both. He isn't being invited over due to anything lacking sex wise between you and your wife, he is being invited over for a little extra spice and for her to enjoy someone "strange". Most single guys that are truly in the lifestyle or a swinger will know that right off the bat. We enjoy MFM on occasions, and the main purpose of having him over is for me to enjoy being pleased by two men and for me to enjoy pleasing two men. At least for us, we always treat them with respect and I will try and ask if there is anything in particular that he enjoys or he wants to do. Although they are just a "toy" for you both, treating them with respect and being considerate as to maybe what he may want or enjoy is always the right thing to do. The first and main purpose of them joining you is for YOUR pleasure (the female). You both inviting someone unknown so she can have some new feel, smell, pleasure is mainly for HER pleasure. It's all about the sex in the end. No emotions, no feelings, pure hot erotic sex. For me, as long as I have enjoyed myself and my husband has enjoyed being a part of an MFM with me and enjoyed seeing me being pleased and pleasing the both of them, then it's a win/win. It is important for me when enjoying a new single male for an MFM that I am able to please the SM. Although it's all about the female, I get turned on very much knowing I have satisfied and pleased the other guy as well. You are not bad people at all looking at them as "toys" for your pleasure. If you think about it from the other guy's perspective, he's in it just for the sex, no different than you are. Most men are happy just being invited by a couple and are happy they are having sex. Most of the guys aren't looking for a relationship and are looking at you as a "toy" for them. Don't read too much into considering them as a "toy" cause I can assure you most of them aren't thinking anything about that and are joining you guys for the same reason, to have sex. Quote Share this post Link to post
JessicaJamison 842 Posted November 20, 2020 I wouldn't worry about it, I use men as sex toys all the time. I'm passionate in the sack but I'm there to get me off and get them off. I'm very clear about it, I've had a few younger guys try to follow me around like a lovesick puppy, but thats cause they haven't been with a woman that has perfected her slut game. I always make it clear this is a one time deal. It helps that I rarely play I'm my home town. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
WildRide69 2 Posted December 16, 2020 We think you hit the nail on the head. We have similar tastes and play experiences with single males and females. They tend to have a pretty good time and we usually get call backs to enjoy adult play again. If the males have great skill sets and become friends, we introduce them to other singles and couples. We have even traveled with them. We are all adults here and the single males know that they get to have satisfying sex with no commitment or costs. It's a win win for a couple and the DWAP (Dildo With A Pulse). 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
couplers 4,140 Posted December 16, 2020 As related elsewhere, the three women in our family have a boyfriend to sexually supplement the two men in our family who are essentially our shared husbands. The guy is married and doing this with the consent and encouragement of his wife, who finds sex physiologically painful. (I've posted the story elsewhere.https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/66337-normalizing-sexual-dysfunction/?tab=comments#comment-622437) We like the guy, but he knows his place and is happy with it. Quote Share this post Link to post
hlgcpl4fun 65 Posted September 20, 2023 Robart and I (Sabrina) have been swinging for many years. I enjoy the excitement of new sex partners, so we rarely play with single males more than 2-3 times. It is just what I prefer. There have benn some exceptions and that was because they were exceptional, 😈 and 🔥 hottt Quote Share this post Link to post
