Angst and swinging

I've felt the emotion of Angst every once in awhile as I prepare for or watch my wife take a lover.

 

The Urban Dictionary defines the word as, "Angst, often confused with anxiety, is a transcendent emotion in that it combines the unbearable anguish of life with the hopes of overcoming this seemingly impossible situation. Without the important element of hope, then the emotion is anxiety, not angst."

 

Have you felt angst? What does it feel like for you? What did you do about it?

 

Can you define it in LifeStyle terms?

Have you felt angst? What does it feel like for you? What did you do about it?

Even at first when my wife went to lovers on her own, there was no "unbearable anguish of life with the hopes of overcoming this seemingly impossible situation." The happiness that I saw in my wife and her affection for me when she is able enjoy her sexual freedom brought positive feelings. After I occasionally became involved in her exploits with other men and women, then started my own, all doubts evaporated.

My Cassell's German dictionary defines "Angst" as "fear, anxiety, anguish." There are compound words with further meanings that use specifying roots. There is no listing for "... while swapping spouses."

 

I felt fear, anxiety and anguish one time in 30 years of marriage. It was surprising, at best.

 

We had had a fun-filled "same room" experience with Pat and Jo on the floor in our den. (The kids were at Grandma's for the weekend.) Back to normal breathing, holding fresh drinks, the four of us were relaxing. I thought Pat was expressing appreciation to Laura about a remark she made when he hugged her across the shoulders. For some reason she interpreted the hug as either wanting her to suck his cock (which she didn't) or to lay her head on his thigh, which she did. He began to stroke her face and hair.

 

The feeling that overcame me was frightening. My wife had just enthusiastically fucked this man from hell to breakfast right in front of me and my stomach was churning because he was stroking her hair??? How crazy was that?? Our playmates had a commitment the next morning, so Pat and Jo dressed and went home, not because of the incident. We never told them about it.

 

Laura and I hashed it over for hours that night and days (weeks? years?) thereafter. The talks usually led to making love. We eventually concluded that my "angst" related to a family tradition. We usually put our sons to bed at night and talked to them while running our fingers through their hair, "Loving their hair." During their childhood, both often asked us to "Love my hair, please." One quit asking in high school; the other in college. I believe it was a foundation of our communicative relationships with our sons. That need to communicate also resulted in the four of us sitting for two hours after dinner, just chatting. We three still do that when they are in town.

 

Neither of us wanted our family tradition to turn sexual in any way. Laura promised me it would never happen again and it didn't.

I think I know what you mean. Sexual angst is a thing in vanilla life, too. It's something we all hit with "firsts" as we learn about relationships and move on to more complicated, grownup ones.

 

Like realizing the high school sweetheart was moving on to fucking other men. I didn't mind, but I still felt it. Or the furious arguments with my first FWB because we were both emotionally involved and also both screwing other people and both wanted to keep it that way.

 

By 20 or so, I was pretty much over it, but then you try swinging and that feeling is still there, but you're better acquainted with it and at least know what it is. Some part of your gut is concerned about a potential loss, even if you aren't really losing anything. Swimming head and sinking stomach.

 

Definitely felt it, combined with a granite-hard erection, watching a playmate push Mrs. E's hair out of the way so she could go down on someone else for the first time. It was exactly what I wanted but that only registered with about half of me, and that feeling stuck around until I came. Then I was fine.

 

Mrs. E has only expressed it twice, never about swinging. Once when we were first talking and flirting, and she had a miniature existential/moral crisis because for the first time she was having sex with two men who didn't know about each other. The resolution ended up adding a third and accepting that it wasn't the big deal she'd been told to think it was.

 

The other was the first time we went to a strip club together. There were about a half dozen surprising taboos that got stomped on there and it didn't go easily, although she was fascinated and talked about it for days after.

I have had anxiety. The first time my husband saw me with another man. I was anxious the first time we invited my husband’s best friend to join us. I was anxious when my best friend joined us. I am anxious when my husband watches me when I am having maybe too much fun with someone else. I feel anxious when my husband is with someone who I think is gorgeous.

The anxiety is real, the reason has always been unfounded. I am learn everyday to relax more. I can tell you posting and reading responses have helped. Thank you to all who are honest with me.

Only angst I felt first time was my honey squirting , she hadn’t ever done it with me before . I soon got my head round the “sensory overload “ she experienced. My other was sucking our guest as she watched .. I worried she would see me as less of a man , she doesn’t and loves seeing that .. she worried I’d not respect her after .. I reassured her I loved her even more ?