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cplnuswing

How would WE swing?

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In talking to swingers both in person and online and hearing their personal "how did you get into swinging?" stories, I've noticed a consistent theme is that the start for many was when they started talking hypothetically about how THEY would swing IF they were swingers. Many times the conversation was totally innocent and sincere too; it happened organically and wasn't just a case of one or the other intentionally using that approach to bring up a dicey subject in the hopes of maintaining plausible deniability should the other one freak out at even the mere mention of swinging.

 

Tell us your story - is this how it went for you too? What precipitated that hypothetical conversation? Finding out someone you know is a swinger? TV show? Movie?

 

Our path was a little bit different. We didn't start off with a hypothetical at all. We decided we wanted to visit a swingers club, no plans of anything other than just checking it out, and we did that. You can't visit a swingers club without meeting swingers though, so it was a quick jump from that to "IF we were to decide to do it like they do, how will WE do it?"...and then the rest is history :)

 

I think once you get to that point of having that conversation, it almost becomes a foregone conclusion SOMETHING is going to happen, whether it's just a change within yourselves or whether you go all the way and end up involving other people too.

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Our beginnings were different as well. When I first started dating (and fucking) David, my now-husband, I was still seeing (and fucking) my ex-fiance. David caught on pretty quick, ask me calmly about it, and said he was fine with me continuing. Later, hubby and I started playing with other women. Hubby, my boyfriend, and two women now are exclusive to each other and form a poly family with two (and trying for more) children.

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cplnuswing, our "origin story" rings true to the theme of your post. The Mrs. and I were watching the swinger reality show on Playboy TV called, "Swing". It was one of the shows on Playboy TV that my wife and I could both get into, unlike some other programs that make her just roll her eyes and look at me like I'm a cheap, shallow, soulless, horny wanker (perceptive woman's!). But in the case of Swing, we enjoyed talking about the situation of the newbie couple each week. At some point, the conversation turned from "how do you think they will do?" to "how do you think we would do?" We can't even recall which one of us broached the topic, but the other one reacted well, and we were off to the races! As the conversation continued, we signed up on SLS, booked ourselves for a swinger vacation five months in the future, and started meeting couples. We ended up jumping into the swinging lifestyle with both feet, and we have been having a great time ever since!

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We're off the path as well. I wanted to know about her sexual experiences and she told me one story about how her and her ex and another couple used to get together in their hot tub and drink wine and talk. After this happened for awhile, the more wine that was consumed, the less clothes became necessary and then the physical interaction started becoming more and more...next thing you know they were swinging. The marriage, however, was already in serious trouble before they really started with this and finally fell apart. After telling me this, she quickly added that it was a bunch of fun and she wouldn't mind trying it again now that she was in a much stronger relationship. After careful consideration and tons of research, I eventually gave in and said okay (this took nanoseconds to accomplish). We did take our time and eventually ended up where we currently are and are loving it!

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When we we're dating my wife told me she had a gf in high school, i thought that's cool but a lot of women have had a lesbian exp. So one night waiting on our wings @ Wingstop of all places she just leaned over and told me "how would you like to fuck another woman" it just kept evolving after every experience since.

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When we first met, I was open about my previous experience in non-monogamy - and he had been eager to try swinging in past relationships, but no wife would consider it. We agreed, in time, we'd want to move in the direction of swinging - even if it took us a long time to get there.

 

Since then we've had a couple of experiences with one close friend but still talk about our other options ad nauseum. So while we have shared sex with a third, we're taking the baby steps approach with how we will break into swinging on a more regular basis with new friends. We're actively seeking to meet a couple just for a drink and see how it is to navigate that together. Baby steps.

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We went on a Caribbean vacation that had a nude beach. We loved meeting all the friendly naked people that week. And sex between the two of us was more intense after a day being naked with others. That led to some discussions. When we got home we wanted more and found a nude resort nearby. That resort was also fun but had a bit of a sexual charge that was new to us. That led to more discussions and some erotic literature. Then attending the Saturday night parties there we discovered Lifestyle people were just as friendly and even more fun. That led to more discussions, more erotica, and a lifestyle resort vacation. A little experimentation and more discussions and so on. It took us about 5 years from the time we first walked out on a nude beach to work out all our trust issues and be in a place where we are completely comfortable with each other's desires. Both of us got ahead of the other at certain points and both of us had to get over some insecurities. We learned to value each other's feelings most. Now, we both approach swinging as something we do for us. I'm not saying I don't enjoy it for myself, but it is strangely one of the least selfish things I do.

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Our first time was never planned. It happened. Like Gingerandwasabi we too went to a nude beach. We were on a cruise and the only thing we discussed before was that we would go to the nude beach. No one we know would be there. We went with other couples from the ship, strangers to us and most likely never seeing them again. That night on the ship, with the help of some drinking, our conversation with one of the couples became from sexual. I couldn't imagine what happened that night ever happening at home. I ended up in their room and the wife ended up in my room with my husband. Too much wine, too much vacation, too much fun. For me it was if everyone is up for it so am I.

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