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Spoomonkey

Drunk, Stupid and MIGHT have let it slip...

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Okay...

 

Went to a "vanilla" party for New Year's...

 

It was actually a lot of fun - except that I drank too much. I am not a heavy drinker and sort of went overboard. Now I am worried about what I may or may not have said. I remember little about the night - there was some gratuitous nudity, which was nice; some things that I am ashamed of and wish I hadn't done... And the distinct possibility that I told a work colleague that Mrs Spoomonkey and I are swingers...

 

Sooo...

 

Monday is tomorrow...

 

I have to face up to this.

 

I am not too worried, since there was a lot of things that happened that I am sure everyone would prefer to stay "mum" about, but I am concerned about how I will be perceived now...

 

What to do?

 

Besides pointing out that I am stupid (a fact that I repeated to myself all day yesterday while unable to move or eat) what kind of damage control can you folks suggest?

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Was Mrs. Spoo there when these untold grievances happened? What does she think?

 

Really man, I have done things at vanilla parties that made me want to crawl into an earthen hole for the next few weeks. I have found most people to be forgiving in that they are looking for info and/or to have some risque fun themselves. i.e. the gratuitous nudity you witnessed.

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Was Mrs. Spoo there when these untold grievances happened? What does she think?

 

She was dozing on the couch at this point... But the guy I think I told came in and sat across from her and said, "He told me everything."

 

What that "everything" is - well, I have a pretty good idea.

 

Thankfully, Mrs Spoomonkey is nervous about it, but figures what's done is done. Well... Okay... So we are both a little mortified, but I think she is handling it well...

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My first thought is, What does Mrs Spoo remember of the night?

 

I think this will play a big role in how you both handle the evening's events.

 

Was she observing your behavior? Was she as intoxicated as you? Does she remember all that happened?

 

If Mr LM was behaving foolishly, and I wasn't, I'd play the wife who is understanding but embarrassed by my sweet hubby, laugh off the stupid things he did and said, and let people know he didn't know what the hell he was saying..."My hubby has the greatest imagination." {insert playful laugh}

 

I think a lot will depend on how the both of you can handle your story, since you work at the same place.

 

If apologies are in order, well, you got to find out to whom you own them. I would talk as little as possible at work about the evening. Speak only if you need to keep yourself afloat, as in surviving the aftermath. If you talk too much, people will assume you are all the worst they may be thinking and you'll do yourself even more harm. I'd feel out the climate on Monday and make few comments. The more you talk, the greater the chance of you getting deeper into hot water.

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I guess if the guy brings it up again, depending on exactly what was said, you could give him the old "I was drunk and just talking a bunch of shit" line. It may not work, but then again, maybe it will. I mean, if you were that drunk, it would seem somewhat plausible that you were just BS'ing.

 

Boy, wish I had a better escape route for you!

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Spoo, Spoo, Spoo...I'm so disappointed in you :lol:

 

Chances are everyone else was just as drunk and probably don't remember anything themselves. Just go to work, act as if nothing happened and should anyone bring up the topic you have two choices...1) Play dumb...I have no idea what your talking about. 2) Be honest...Yes, we are and I'm sorry I aired our hobby in a place it was not appropriate to , so please accept my apologies if I offended you. Then go about your business and act as if you have nothing to be ashamed of .

 

BTW...This is one of the reasons that we only have one or two drinks at vanilla functions...we both enjoy what we do so much that we know (and I have done so in the past) that one of us will open our mouths and the gig will be up.

 

Good luck.

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2) Be honest...Yes, we are and I'm sorry I aired our hobby in a place it was not appropriate to , so please accept my apologies if I offended you.

 

I think I am leaning towards this - and hope that he has a "what happens on New Year's stays at New Year's" attitude about it all...

 

Mrs Spoo is of the mind that they might all have been beyond trashed as well, so I have my fingers crossed :D

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So...you were both drunk and behaved less than ideal...but Mrs Spoo conked out before you.

 

I think you'll have to write this up to a lesson learned. If you walk in sheepishly on Monday everyone is going to believe you're statement about being swingers is true (let's presume you said it) and now you're terribly worried that everyone knows.

 

Be cool. Act cool, like nothing's changed.

 

I believe you can get away with this faux pas, without overdue attention drawn to you, IF you know how to carry yourselves. Show no guilt, other than what is expected when folks act foolish at a New Year's Eve party.

 

This is the risk you take when being a swinger. You get so used to open dialogue on the board about swinging, and with your swinger friends at home, that someday it's likely to happen; the word is out that you're swingers!

 

I'd guess a long while back you discussed what you would do when this day came. Right?

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Just because they were "trashed" doesn't mean they have no memory, it just may make it easier to pass it off as something you didn't mean; although alcohol does tend to act like a truth serum to some degree, so that might not work. Just hope you told the right person and that you were talking softly.

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Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty

I would say do not say anything at all.

 

I have done the same thing and went to work on Monday like nothing happened.

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As I have heard Judge Judy state many times:

 

"The Truth will set you free!"

 

Ok, someone before her said it too.

 

Glad that I stopped drinking Feb. 14th 1980. Has been fun watching all the others that get drunk and I am the only one that gets to remember it all. :D

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Well chances are very good that no one will remember anything. I agree with LM on this, play it coy tomorrow with Mrs Spoo and see how things go. If something is said blow it off- maybe even with a 'well don't you wish we were' or

something.

 

I doubt anything will be said unless you are working with a bunch of 'frat-boy' types that still think de-pants-ing is cool. In that case, your toast! :hahaha:

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A lot of people trash things they know nothing of. I think you have just become the idol of whomever you spoke to. Now he can say what normal people there are in the lifestyle.

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Well if Mrs. Spoo is followed down the hall by a group of panting men then the best thing she can turn around and say is *Oh so he was spouting off about that fantasy of his again I see...IN his dreams maybe* :lol: . Flip the hair and keep on gettting it.

 

If you are asked about it simply say I have a very active fantasy life and the bottle makes me forget about it not being real...only in my dreams...

 

Or you can simply turn and say man what was you drinking that nite to have heard that! :eek:

 

Or you could just say jealous..and walk off :D

 

One of my husband's friends he has worked with is a swinger at the same social club we belong too...I graduated with his wife...she is no problem..he likes to run his mouth..which makes us verrrrrrrry careful about what he sees :rollseyes and IMHO he wants to see too much of me!

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Well if Mrs. Spoo is followed down the hall by a group of panting men then the best thing she can turn around and say is *Oh so he was spouting off about that fantasy of his again I see...IN his dreams maybe* :lol: . Flip the hair and keep on gettting it.

 

:lol:

 

I like it :)

 

I think we have decided to go with "deny, deny, deny" and just go to work the way we would any other Monday.

 

I agree with Lee that just having the truth out there would make this much less of an issue - but not all of us have such a convenient life. Some of us have reasons to be discreet.

 

What I have on my side is - really - the people at the party are great people and while I mostly hope this doesn't injure friendships with them, I sincerely think that my "spouting" will be held in fair confidence. It may never get brought up again...

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"Swingers??? I said 'singers'! But only when we drink... Sorry. I sometimes slur my words when I eat pussy... er ... I mean... drink..."

 

Seriously, I'd say just wait and see if anyone mentions it, Spoo.

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I think we've all had 'close ones' like this. I dunno. I guess if it was us, we'd just go to work the next day with a big smile and play it by ear. If it was the office jackass that loudly greets you with "Swing baby, YEAH!" or "Oh, beHAVE!", definitely go with denial. What? didn't he have his BS detector turned on that night? NO, you're not sick twisted swingers! (you're a very classy and sophisticated playcouple) NO, you don't consort with immoral people (well, you don't right?) ;) There are ways around it without misleading or outright lying. If the guy is a mis-educated idiot and believes all the myths, don't bother trying to enlighten him (of course) just deny it.

 

On the other hand, if everyone seems to silently agree that NO one wants to rehash all the stuff that went on that night (eg: Mr. Pants-less) then just stay silent as the GRAVE about it. If someone brings it up, do damage control as necessary.

 

But if when you walk in to work that morning and suddenly conversation stops (pins dropping, crickets chirping...), hold your head up high and say, "Hey Bob, how was your weekend?" Don't worry about it. Although you might've goofed up and accidentally given everyone a glimpse into your personal life, it really isn't their business. And if someone approaches you about it, you can apologize for the faux pas, but gently remind them that it's none of their beeswax. Chances are half of them are jealous and the other are too uptight for their own good. Generally we feel sorry for the unenlightened masses because we have an awesome life(style) and they're too close-minded to understand it.

 

Good luck, and please please tell us what happens :confused:

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Good luck, and please please tell us what happens :confused:

 

I promise that there will be updates come Monday evening...

 

I can pretty much promise :D

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:lol: I feel for ya, Spoo.

 

 

Been there, done that...but to a smaller degree. During a drunken celebration, I told coworkers that Nikki and I go to strip clubs together. Hey, it came up and I was just being honest. :) If it makes you feel any better, there was no major fallout from it. But I could tell word got around by some of the comments that were made later in the year. The nearest I can tell, that comment of mine clued everyone in that we are a wild couple...and their fertile little minds were trying to figure out just how wild! I'll never tell. :)

 

The worst effects were some of their wives....Nikki was no longer invited to the wife events. It could have been coincidence since she worked and most of the other wives didn't, but it sure felt like they were less accepting of a wild woman in their midst.

 

So...I think it'll work out for you...but I'll sure be looking here to see what happened on Monday!

 

Also...any chance you can claim you were talking about swing DANCING???

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The universal "Huh, I said WHAT !!!!???? Aw Man, I have no idea where that came from" would probably work since it was a holiday where people who don't get tanked usually do.

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Dito to the universal confused look for you... the widened eyes, the knit brow, the slightly open mouth... what? huh?

 

Mrs. Spoo would do good with the "He said what? Jeez, he must have had more to drink than I did..." accompanied by the :rolleyes: look.

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Well Spoo don't fill so bad..Mr. Midnight was at work just now and popped the trunk to get his stuff with about 3 or 4 of his co-workers standing around the trunk and guess what was laying right on top of his black bag..a brand new shiny copy of Swingstyle magazine we got at the New Years Eve party :lol:

 

He said he dived into the trunk and threw his coat over it... :lol::lol:

 

But he said that was a close one... :rolleyes:

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I have to go with the play dumb/deny etc. route. I would try it first. I especially like the idea of Mrs. Spoo acting like you simply had so much to drink you went off into fantasy land or were playing a joke on the guy to see if he had his BS detector on. Deny, make counter accusations, but don't talk about it unless you have no other options.

 

In the immortal words of Bart Simpson: "I didn't do it. Nobody saw me. You can't prove a thing."

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BTW...This is one of the reasons that we only have one or two drinks at vanilla functions...we both enjoy what we do so much that we know (and I have done so in the past) that one of us will open our mouths and the gig will be up.

 

Ditto, I am always a bit paranoid at vanilla parties that if I drink too much I will say something or do something I will regret later... those somethings that I know I would do are things that I know I could get away with around swingers.

 

I feel for you Spoo, I've had those morning afters where I knew I did something I shouldn't have and spent a lot of time reaming myself for it and wondering how others are going to react to me.

 

Just go to work and act like nothing happened. If he brings it up chances are you will turn bright red and give yourself away... oh wait that's me... hopefully your monkey fur will help hide your em-bare-ASSment and you can cover your ass on the fly.

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Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty

When I did it a couple of weeks ago I talked about swinging in general and how peoples already strong relationships can become stronger etc...

 

I never actualy came out and said "Mrs naughty and I swing". But it was pretty obvious.

 

When I went to work Monday morning our conversation kinda went like this:

 

Him: How you doing today?

 

Me: Not to bad, You?

 

Him: I'm still hungover from Saturday.

 

Me: Me too, I was pretty hammered.

 

Him: Yeah I was too, I don't remember much after midnight.

 

(Which is when the conversation took place)

 

Me: Me either, it is kinda foggy (which it was), all I remember is I was hammered.

 

 

 

That was it. We both went on like buisness as usual.

 

Does he not really remember? I don't know. But it did seem as if we were feeling each other out a little.

 

Hopefully your Monday morning goes as smoothly. :)

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I'm with Julie. I really try to avoid drinking enough in public that it loosens my tongue. As some of you may have noticed I tend to be rather talkative about my views. This simply would NOT do at any vanilla function we might attend. It's difficult because what we do (now) makes so much more sense than what a lot of vanilla couples do in their marriages and lives. I have a low BS tolerance, and a strong disliking for useless small talk or insincerities in conversation. Life's too short, IMO. This opposition to the silly way the 'real world' works, plus the fact that I'm unashamed of my and my husband's lifestyle choice, plus too much alcohol equals a rather volatile mix. Like Julie, I tend to be somewhat self-conscious at vanilla getherings and rightfully paranoid.

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Oh my Spoo! I have to say I can commisserate...just not on such a large scale.

 

We were playing cards with some vanilla friends on New Years...I had a couple of drinks and a few times I said some comments that I would normally say with out concern in front of our swinger friends. Poor hubby choked on his run a couple of times but luckly no one caught on to my meanings.

 

Unfortunately I am one of those people who remember every stupid drunken thing that I have ever done....so I say you just don't bring it up at all. If someone else brings it up... just use some of those wonderful lines that the others have suggested.

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I realize any advice I give today will be a little late (unless of course you wussed out and called in sick, I probably would have).

 

But I think I'd go with "Swingers?.......You bet......we love all kinds of dancing." ;)

 

Can't wait to read your after action report today. :o

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Well - I went to work, but the guy I told called in...

 

But other people that were there were just fine - and acted very cool about everything. There was some blushing among a few people... I think this is going to turn out just fine - but we'll have to see tomorrow...

 

One day down!

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Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty
Well - I went to work, but the guy I told called in...

 

Maybe he was more worried about it than you were. It could be a good sign.

 

If he couldn't wait to come tell everyone he would have been there if he could.

 

 

He probably sat home all weekend like you thinking about what was said, how uncomfortable Monday morning would be, how he should act and decided to call in instead.

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At most vanilla functions I am at, there is a fair share of innuendo and flirting going on.

 

I think MOST is innocent fantasy fueled ego massaging that is not expected to go anywhere.

 

The more puritanical may be somewhat put off by the monkey-parts-expose, and if so, expect some murmurs among the church going neighbor crowd.

 

Otherwise, some wondering, jealous gossip and envious looks :rolleyes: may be in the cards, little else that matters.

 

It can always be blamed on demon rum! :facelick:

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...expect some murmurs among the church going neighbor crowd.

 

Just to be fair - we were at church on Sunday morning :D

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This has happened to us before only it was Mrs. GT who did the tellling to one of her coworkers wives while under the influence of some 100 proof truth serum. Fortanately for us it hasn't been a problem as this person is very discrete.

 

This same couple has seen her topless before too. I wonder if they would recognize her from her avatar? :)

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This same couple has seen her topless before too.

 

I personally don't believe that Mrs Good Times has ever been topless...

 

Prove it... :hahaha:

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I personally don't believe that Mrs Good Times has ever been topless...

 

Prove it... :hahaha:

 

Her Spoo, I'll pull her shirt up and hold her closer to the monitor.

 

 

There.......hows that? :D

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Her Spoo, I'll pull her shirt up and hold her closer to the monitor.

 

There.......hows that? :D

 

Surprisingly nice!

 

I didn't see a thing, but I FELT it... The energy, I mean...

 

Thanks - night is complete! (Well - almost...)

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I guess this is the true definition of a "Cock Up" Almost literally...I would not worry just get Mrs Spoo to say you were drunk as a skunk and always talk rubbish in that state.

 

Tim has often opened his big mouth and we get away with a denial the next day.

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UPDATE!

 

I think all is cool. I talked to the guy and told him that I don't remember saying anything after midnight - and if I said anything offensive, I apologize. He smiled and said I was cool and didn't say anything stupid.

 

And that was it...

 

I feel better...

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Lets see, what did we learn here?

 

If one should drink enough to loosen ones tongue at a vanilla party with coworkers, and inadvertently, "spill the beans", one should hope to be as lucky as our friend Spoomonkey. :)

 

Congrats buddy, looks like you might have sqeaked by this one. :claps:

 

I bet that is a major load off, I have been known to open mouth and have something pop out that I have regretted later, and it always seems like the stress of waiting for the possible nasty repercussions is worse than anything that could possibley happen as a result of what I said. :o

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Well Mr.Midnight is trying to figure out something from work and he knows we didn't say anything... :lol: he works between a few different locations hauling containers in about a 8 mile radius...last nite one guy waited until everyone left the break room and then started telling him about his first 3 some on New Years Eve right out of the blue :lol: he is still trying to figure out if it is just because he looks like the kind of guy who would listen...or if he has seen us on a site somewhere.... :rolleyes: and you really don't want to come out and ask in case it was just a random babble... :D so again we are confused.... :lol:

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I'm glad to hear it's all okay, but I was just wondering - was he the only person you apologized to or did you make apologies to others you may have offended as well? The only reason I ask is he may be suspicious if he was the only one you apologized to and not to anyone else.

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It also sounds to me that (from the way I'm imagining that he said it), he understands that he shouldn't tell anyone what he knows.

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I hope so Miss Piggy!

 

You really want to trust those you work with even when you make a fool of yourself or say something they don't agree with.

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