Swinging with Girlfriend not Wife

I am married and my current girlfriend who is also married is interested in swinging. The idea really turns both of us on.

 

Would it be wrong for us to swing though we are really cheating on our partners already but not cheating on each other by swinging?

Well lets see , the foundation of swinging is centered around open communication and honesty. Your current relationship already compromises both.

 

I would go out on a limb and guess that not only would it be wrong for the two of you to present yourselves as a commited couple to potential swing partners but also would not be well recieved as such unless you intend on deceiving everyone else also.

 

Annette

I completely agree with the previous post. We would stay far away from that situation...too much drama!

 

Nikki

Originally posted by Unregistered

I am married and my current girlfriend who is also married is interested in swinging. The idea really turns both of us on.

 

Would it be wrong for us to swing though we are really cheating on our partners already but not cheating on each other by swinging?

 

since you are cheating on your wife & husband I doubt you really care that you two are cheating on each other as well. Is it WRONG? No more so the cheating in the first place. Sounds like you two can't make up your minds on what & who you want to do.

I have to agree with the others on this one. Communication and Honestly is the two main things you need in swinging and you dont have either one.

 

It is wrong that you both are cheating on your spouses seems to me that neither of u know what you want. I feel really sorry for your spouses who are getting hurt because you two dont know what u want.

We feel swinging is about honesty. If you are cheating on your wife you are not being honest with her. Just our 2cents worth. (or is it four now.) *Hugs* JNC

My guess would be that it won't be easy. You could possible go to clubs and find someone to play with for the night but most swingers want to know the people they play with. You could lie and get away with it for awhile but eventually your partners would wonder why you never invite them to your home and other irregularities would probably put an end to the play.

 

If y'all are both married, why don't you talk with your spouses and see if they'd be interested in swinging? It'd be a whole lot better that living as constant liars.

 

Mr. Alura

Sorry but two wrongs don't make a right. Just cuz you are already cheating on your spouses doesn't mean you won't still be cheating if you attempt to swing. I doubt seriously that any swinging couples will even consider swinging with you if you are honest about your status.

We agree with Julie and the others. Cheating is cheating and we would not want to be in the situation. Cheating is not looked on very well in this lifestyle as you have seen written here.

 

Rhonda

Originally posted by Unregistered

I am married and my current girlfriend who is also married is interested in swinging. The idea really turns both of us on.

 

Would it be wrong for us to swing though we are really cheating on our partners already but not cheating on each other by swinging?

 

Does your wife know about the girlfriend???

Originally posted by nikkilynn74

I completely agree with the previous post. We would stay far away from that situation...too much drama!

 

Nikki

Drama? You're not kidding. Those guys should write a novel or a screenplay. There's money in their situation!

 

Ask yourself this question.....

 

How would feeling if your wife and her boyfriend started swinging?

 

I'll go out on a limb and say that you wouldn't like it. If thats the case, you might want to listen to your own advice. I know that me and my girlfriend wouldn't want swing with you, nor would most swinging couples.

Originally posted by Unregistered

I am married and my current girlfriend who is also married is interested in swinging. The idea really turns both of us on.

 

Would it be wrong for us to swing though we are really cheating on our partners already but not cheating on each other by swinging?

 

 

I think it funny that you and your girlfriend try to justify swinging by saying you wouldn't be cheating on each other. Who cares! Your already cheating on your spouses and by swinging you would just be adding to the number of people you have cheated with.

 

It is unlikely there will be many swingers that would be interested in getting involved with you two.

 

Jesse

oh my what a dilema

 

no wait its not a dilema its a crutch you are seeking, sort of moral support for a action you 2 really want to do! huh not happy at home ..so you cheat..now it appairs you are not satisfied with hte person you are cheating with so you seek a nother couple to share there fantisies with...sounds like a sickness in the making...do us a favor and find some support from a licenced theripist ! your problems go beyond should i swing or not there a little deeper .........

We almost had our first meeting with a couple. It would only be with the guy, his partner is sick. However, he says he is married but his partner is not his wife. I don't know. I guess at least he is honest about that. He had to cancel at the last minute which is fine. I guess it does bother me a bit. We (the three of us) were going to meet but I felt pressured from him wanting to go as far as he could and this would be the first time I even saw him. I'd love to try;) a 3some but I think we should at least meet the people who we are intersted in first, we are talking to a few other couples and that has been going great!

I don't know I really felt pressured on the phone with him. Hes going to call next week, I don't like feeling pressured, but I didn't feel this way till I got off the phone. What anyone think?

It is really none of my business if he is married and cheating, I don't even know if his wife knows about this.

Quit rationalizing ridiculous behavior. Grow up! Nuff said We rarely post but this one really got us...........

Oh boy, I just posted my dilemma on the wrong thread, oh well. A couple wants to meet us and he is married but his partner is not his wife. I didn't ask if his wife knows about this but I don't feel that comfortable with it. Is it me? From what I've been reading, cheating is no. I do like that.

originally posted by pammyjgcurious

We almost had our first meeting with a couple. It would only be with the guy, his partner is sick. However, he says he is married but his partner is not his wife. I don't know. I guess at least he is honest about that. He had to cancel at the last minute which is fine. I guess it does bother me a bit. We (the three of us) were going to meet but I felt pressured from him wanting to go as far as he could and this would be the first time I even saw him. I'd love to try a 3some but I think we should at least meet the people who we are intersted in first, we are talking to a few other couples and that has been going great!

I don't know I really felt pressured on the phone with him. Hes going to call next week, I don't like feeling pressured, but I didn't feel this way till I got off the phone. What anyone think?

It is really none of my business if he is married and cheating, I don't even know if his wife knows about this.

 

 

i wondered when I saw it in the wrong thread....

Originally posted by pammyjgcurious

Oh boy, I just posted my dilemma on the wrong thread, oh well. A couple wants to meet us and he is married but his partner is not his wife. I didn't ask if his wife knows about this but I don't feel that comfortable with it. Is it me? From what I've been reading, cheating is no. I do like that.

 

well I wouldn't be comfortable with meeting with him . period. even more so because "his partner" is sick...

 

if you want to try a threesome that's great but this guy already has TOO many strikes against him in my opinion....

Thanks naughty A

I don't think so. From what I've gathered from your posts, it sounds like those red flags are waving right in front of your face.

 

If I understand this correctly...he is married, but has a girlfriend. Equates to cheating. Red flag.

And now, the girlfriend is sick and can't make it. That relegates him to the single male status. Red flag.

Single males are fine if that is what you are looking for, but in this case, it seems you were seeking another couple, and this guy crawls out of the woodwork with his various stories. They might be true, but that takes us back to the fact that he was seeking to cheat on his wife in the first place and was attempting to make you a party to his deceitfulness. Red flag.

 

Then, most importantly, you are not feeling quite right about this arrangement and you are feeling pressured. Huge Red Flag. Absolutely never allow anyone to make you feel pressured. That is your gut talking to you and saying, "Uh...something just ain't quite right here."

 

Unrelated sidenote: Isn't it great to have a Board like this to bounce things off of with other people?

 

-EBF

It certainly is your business if he is married and cheating, Pammyjgcurious! When was the last time you enjoyed a full-fledged gunfight with an insanely jealous wife who may decide to shoot you in honor of all the other women he's fucked since they've been married and decided you were "the straw that broke the camel's back"?

 

Okay, that's not likely. There was a case, I think here in Tulsa, in which the wife tried to run over both of them (as they came out of a bar or some place) with her Mercedes SUV but the husband jumped and she only killed the girlfriend.

 

As Elusive said, this guy struck out long ago. Besides, what can he offer you that a couple can't? Threesomes can be done with couples. One person just sits out and watches. You get to be a part of three different threesomes and watch one. Now who has the advantage?

 

Hmmm. How does that math work with three couples...???

 

Mr. Alura

Originally posted by Alura

There was a case, I think here in Tulsa, in which the wife tried to run over both of them (as they came out of a bar or some place) with her Mercedes SUV but the husband jumped and she only killed the girlfriend.

 

Or, Mr. Alura, that recent case down in Houston, I believe it was. Both were doctors or dentists (can't recall exactly) and the wronged wife ran over the husband in a parking lot and killed him. Now serving a life sentence.

 

And what do his friends have to remember him by? "He died for a piece of _________!" (Haven't gotten to the point where I can throw around the language comfortably. )

-EBF

Originally posted by pammyjgcurious

We almost had our first meeting with a couple. It would only be with the guy, his partner is sick. However, he says he is married but his partner is not his wife. I don't know. I guess at least he is honest about that. He had to cancel at the last minute which is fine. I guess it does bother me a bit. We (the three of us) were going to meet but I felt pressured from him wanting to go as far as he could and this would be the first time I even saw him. I'd love to try;) a 3some but I think we should at least meet the people who we are intersted in first, we are talking to a few other couples and that has been going great!

I don't know I really felt pressured on the phone with him. Hes going to call next week, I don't like feeling pressured, but I didn't feel this way till I got off the phone. What anyone think?

It is really none of my business if he is married and cheating, I don't even know if his wife knows about this.

Is that the sound of alarm bells I hear?

 

Ah, no. Apologies. My mistake.

 

It's alarm klaxons.

 

ok look its wrong for you or the hubby to do cheating is cheating and let me tell you it sucks when it happens to you..i know!

lots of red flags go up with the post i read. and the one before that. hey if my wife had cancer or whatever i dont think i would be concerned with getting laid ...maybe my wrist would hurt but i think my heart would be some were else and i would think with the head on my shoulders instead of my penis

Originally posted by Elusive BiFem

Or, Mr. Alura, that recent case down in Houston, I believe it was. Both were doctors or dentists (can't recall exactly) and the wronged wife ran over the husband in a parking lot and killed him. Now serving a life sentence.

 

And what do his friends have to remember him by? "He died for a piece of __ass_______!" (Haven't gotten to the point where I can throw around the language comfortably. )

-EBF

 

What are friends for if not to fill in the blanks, Elusive?

 

Examples notwithstanding, being a part of marital cheating is not something we want to do. There are too many fun things to do in swinging without being a part of something sordid and maybe downright dangerous.

 

Mr. Alura

amen brother

Originally posted by pammyjgcurious

It is really none of my business if he is married and cheating, I don't even know if his wife knows about this.

 

Oh...it is your business! This doesn't sound like anyone we would want to be involved with.

 

Swinging isn't about cheating. It's about commintment to your partner...he doesn't sound very committed....

Originally posted by pammyjgcurious

I don't know I really felt pressured on the phone with him. Hes going to call next week, I don't like feeling pressured, but I didn't feel this way till I got off the phone. What anyone think?

It is really none of my business if he is married and cheating, I don't even know if his wife knows about this.

 

I see a couple of problems here. First you should never feel pressured. If you are, step back and figure out what is causing the discomfort and deal with it before continuing.

 

Second he is cheating on his wife, not cool. You might not think it your business but how can you trust him? Swinging reguires discretion and trust. He has already proven he is not trust worthy.

 

I would suggest backing off from him and pursuing one of the other couples you've been in contact with.

 

Jesse

The reasons for us hearing those alarm klaxons . . .

 

(1)

We almost had our first meeting with a couple. It would only be with the guy, his partner is sick.

Classic ploy. Arrange to meet up as a couple, then come up with a reason (often at the last minute) as to why the female half can’t make it:

 

She’s sick

The kids are sick

Someone in the family is sick

The babysitter has eloped to Paris

 

Naturally, the female half is ”more than happy” for the male half to go ahead, so that the other couple isn’t too disappointed.

 

(2)

However, he says he is married but his partner is not his wife. I don't know. I guess at least he is honest about that.

Some honesty. He’s cheating on his wife with another woman. Now he’s planning on swinging without his mistress. Is he cheating on her too?

 

(3)

We (the three of us) were going to meet but I felt pressured from him wanting to go as far as he could and this would be the first time I even saw him.

So this is a man who’s likely to take things steady, and to respect whatever pace you wish to take things at? Don’t think so.

 

(4)

I don't know I really felt pressured on the phone with him. He’s going to call next week, I don't like feeling pressured, but I didn't feel this way till I got off the phone.

This isn’t supposed to be about pressure. It’s meant to be about pleasure. If you’re feeling pressured, then that’s your instincts telling you to slow down, or come to a dead stop.

 

(5)

What anyone think?

That you should ditch this guy, period. Even if you want to try a threesome, I’d advise finding a new partner, someone who displays a few more virtuous character traits. Go with your instincts. Meet up with some of these more promising couples, see if that generates a more promising, less pressurised lead. And if you want a threesome, then there are literally hundreds of thousands of single men out there to choose from. As someone else here said recently, it’s a buyer’s market. Don’t jump overboard with the first one who comes along. Be fussy. You can afford to be.

Originally posted by pammyjgcurious

Oh boy, I just posted my dilemma on the wrong thread, oh well. A couple wants to meet us and he is married but his partner is not his wife. I didn't ask if his wife knows about this but I don't feel that comfortable with it. Is it me? From what I've been reading, cheating is no. I do like that.

 

I moved your posts out of the other thread and into this one.

Thanks Julie:)

It is really none of my business if he is married and cheating, I don't even know if his wife knows about this.

 

Yeah, it is your business if he's married and he's wanting to cheat on his wife with you. Chances are, his wife is fine, in great health and unaware of her husband's cheating ways. Put yourself in her place...would you want to find your spouse cheating on you? And further yet, as a woman...can you honestly be party to something that might possibly (and probably would as all cheaters are eventually found out) cause a lot of pain and hurt to a woman who is the innocent in this cheating situation? Would you wish that kind of pain on your best friend? On yourself? On your sister/daughter/mother? No...so why then would you want to risk putting another woman in pain by playing with her cheating husband? Not to even mention the pain that his children (if there are children) would go thru just because their mother is in pain and hurting.

 

There are far too many single guys out there, ready willing and able, for a threesome if that's what you want. And if he's putting pressure on you, regardless of when you feel this pressure, you need to leave him alone and walk away.

 

Just my 4 cents (inflation, ya know).

 

Quin

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