Questions about single play! See details though

Sorry for any typos!! Hi guys, So this is my first post but I’ve been looking for somewhere that I can talk to others about some situations with swinging. So a little background-I’ve been in a relationship with a married man for 10 years now. Yes his wife knows we all live together. with that said, we have been swinging on and off for probably 7 of those years..but we recently stopped for a little while because there was issues with him lying to me about him doing things separately. Even though he is married we have a relationship just as any other boyfriend and girlfriend.. We don’t do anything separate from each other I’m his and he is mine. In my eyes just because we swing doesn’t mean it’s okay to go out and fuck behind my back. Anyways.. He has given me reasons to doubt him and usually every time I’m right. Well we recently started back on the sites and meeting people. He has told me about some curiosity that he has about wanting to try things with another guy. I’m okay with letting him try it but only with another male so I put down the rules of no females, no couples but a random hook up with a guy alone I can kinda get. Still not a fan but willing to give it a try. Well he asks about going to try it at a video store where they do the porn and glory hole thing so to speak. So I’m trying to be supportive and not flip my crazy switch on... and he goes. But then all I can think about is that he’s lying to me. So I check his Apple Watch(I know I’m bad but he has told me I can look at anything before) and sure enough he is meeting a couple right after telling me to my face no I’m not into that without y’all etc. like how do you go break that? If I or his wife is willing to do it with him why the need to go alone or hide it. This time he told me more truth than ever before so it’s a step but still? Do I just accept this and find a way to be okay with it? I mean it makes me feel like why not with me.. why not tell em.. am I not doing enough? but the last time I confronted him about lying or going behind the back it almost ended us.. almost ended everything. He wouldn’t let me go out on my own. I mean if he is starting back lying about the little things what’s next? Please help me out here. I mean how do I become okay with it all? I mean I know he’s always going to come back to me but there is some built up insecurities that I have. I thought getting back into the lifestyle would be enough.. but apparently he still feels that need to do stuff without me and not tell me the full truth.

Both swinging and open relationships are based on honesty; if I couldn't trust my partner I would sit down with her and come to agreements. One agreement we might reach would be to stop the swinging, another would be that if she wasn't willing to be honest I'd break up with her.

This person is being unfair with you. The decision you come to about this will be difficult. I wish you luck.

I know you have a long history with him but for me an ongoing history of lying is a dealbreaker. My advice is accept he is going to continue lying and do what you want or move on. He is not going to change.

As long as he’s being honest with his wife, everything else is just part of their game.

Please, he's not your husband. He's really not your boyfriend. Just friends with benefits. You caught feelings for him. As long as he doesn't bring and STD to you, what's really the problem?