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Hotwifeswinger

Advice needed - solo weekend get away with swing friends

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Very happily married over 20 years. Started in the lifestyle about 2 years ago. We’ve met some great people and have enjoyed all of our experiences. We have a great sex life and a great marriage. We love spending time together and we have a great sex life as well.

 

So what’s the problem? There is a show I have been dying to see out of town. It requires a plane ride and a night or 2 in a hotel. Due to work schedules, my wife can’t go. I asked a few friends but to no avail. We have one couple that we’ve known for about a year. We get together with them about once a month fir dinner or whatever and playtime. Wife suggested that I ask them to go with me. We talked about the possibility of her being able to go and him not being able due to work. So I asked and sure enough he said he couldn’t but she would love to go. My wife was ok with that as was her husband.

 

Now, we have never played alone, only as a foursome. We also never communicate privately, everything is in a group chat for all to see. There are no secrets. I should also say that my wife really likes her and respects her and really enjoys her company.

 

Well the minute I booked the flights, my wife’s demeanor changed. We talked and she basically said she needed time to process it. She was a little distant towards me for a couple of days. I didn’t bring it up again for about a week.

 

We talked some more and I told her, it’s not that important to me and I wanted to cancel the whole thing if it upset her. That actually made her mad and she said she doesn’t want me to cancel and she’s fine. I feel like she now thinks she’s backed into a corner. I feel I am backed into a corner as well.

 

The concert isn’t till June so I have time to decide. I want to go but not if it upsets my wife. On a side note, my wife has played alone a couple of times, I have not. She also has never done an overnight.

 

It’s now been a little over 2 weeks since the flights have been booked. Wife has been in a great mood, very loving towards me and all seems back to normal. She has even chatted with the other girl a little and it’s been very sexy and playful, but no mention of the trip. She now really seems ok with the whole thing. I plan on revisiting the convo next week.

 

The trip itself would be a lot of fun, but the last thing in the world I want is to upset my wife. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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Go to the concert with her and don't worry about play—just like real spouses. Most rooms have two beds. Enjoy the show, enjoy each other's company, enjoy the show, and come home to resume the Lifestyle. If you end up in the same bed, you still don't have to party.

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It seems from what you said that your wife needed time to process it, she did, and now she's fine with it. Assuming more drama doesn't come up, go, have fun.

 

If you really want to make it extraspecial though, contact a gentleman that either is special to her or a new guy, and set up a date for them while you're out of town.

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First, fix the communication with your wife. I know that you said it's fine, but it isn't. Second, talk with her and find out what the issue is. Let her know that if she doesn't want you doing anything with the other woman, then that's exactly what you will do (and do just that). There's still plenty of time and she may very well change her demeanor again at some point but just keep doing things the way you have in the past: group texts, etc. Make sure that she is comfortable with her being your number one and that nothing will happen that she isn't aware of and has approved. Good luck and let us know how things go.

 

Just don't tell us you are going to see Lady Gaga or Celine Dion...Aerosmith, Judas Priest, or even Paul McCarthy are all acceptable (heck, I'd go with you to see Aerosmith or Judas Priest).

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First, fix the communication with your wife. I know that you said it's fine, but it isn't. Second, talk with her and find out what the issue is. Let her know that if she doesn't want you doing anything with the other woman, then that's exactly what you will do (and do just that). There's still plenty of time and she may very well change her demeanor again at some point but just keep doing things the way you have in the past: group texts, etc. Make sure that she is comfortable with her being your number one and that nothing will happen that she isn't aware of and has approved. Good luck and let us know how things go.

 

Just don't tell us you are going to see Lady Gaga or Celine Dion...Aerosmith, Judas Priest, or even Paul McCarthy are all acceptable (heck, I'd go with you to see Aerosmith or Judas Priest).

 

Actually going to red rocks in Colorado. But do have tickets to see Priest locally next month. In fact, have an extra one . Lol

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Am I missing something here?

 

Why not go and just NOT play. Have a great time as friends WO benefits.

 

I agree with GoldCOCouple, it's not settled with your wife. I'd hate for you to come home to a mess after what should be a fun time.

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Am I missing something here?

 

Why not go and just NOT play. Have a great time as friends WO benefits.

 

I agree with GoldCOCouple, it's not settled with your wife. I'd hate for you to come home to a mess after what should be a fun time.

 

 

I could do that but I think there would always be some doubt in my wife’s mind on whether I told the truth or not . Doubt is worse then knowing.

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I could do that but I think there would always be some doubt in my wife’s mind on whether I told the truth or not . Doubt is worse then knowing.

 

If she will doubt then that is that.

 

Either go with an honest Green Light from your wife., OR call it off.

 

Perhaps the two halves of your couples that stay home could meet and play. May also do an overnight? Then it is close to just separate room play. We have found that once the rooms are separate , the distance between the rooms is immaterial.

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I could do that but I think there would always be some doubt in my wife’s mind on whether I told the truth or not . Doubt is worse then knowing.

 

THIS is why I said you need to work on the communication with the wife. The enemy of jealousy is communication and trust. The more communication you have the greater the trust becomes. If she doesn't trust you completely, just don't go. The cost of the tickets are ultimately less than the cost of your relationship or the damage it could cause.

 

I noticed you still didn't say it WASN'T Lady GAGA or Celine. Wait, it's Diana Ross. If it's Weird Al, were in! And I'm down for Priest as well since you have that extra ticket...

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As of now, I am probably not going to go, unless she can convince me she’s 100% on board. It’s def not Celine dion or lady Gaga but did you know lady Gaga used to be in a zeppelin cover band. My wife actually joked that she would like to do a trip if she found the right guy to do it with. I’d be fine with it. As long as I knew she was safe. Prob the reason she doesn’t want me to cancel just yet. Lol

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I could do that but I think there would always be some doubt in my wife’s mind on whether I told the truth or not . Doubt is worse then knowing.

 

I think your wife really would rather that you do not go, but she doesn't want to look like she's the one stopping you guys from having fun. So when you told her you would not go since it upsets her, she got mad because she does not want to be the one who,s emotions spoil everything. If you had told her you decided not to go because without her it would not be fun, or because you want to share everything with her, etc.. basically any reason that says she's the most important person to you and that even with her blessing it's with her or not at all, then everything would have been peachy. She may not be ready for letting you go solo yet but does not like what that emotion makes her look like, especially since the other hubby said he's ok with it. You can still fix things by staying because it's together or nothing. i don't think she's ready to admit to still having some boundaries.

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As of now, I am probably not going to go, unless she can convince me she’s 100% on board. It’s def not Celine dion or lady Gaga but did you know lady Gaga used to be in a zeppelin cover band. My wife actually joked that she would like to do a trip if she found the right guy to do it with. I’d be fine with it. As long as I knew she was safe. Prob the reason she doesn’t want me to cancel just yet. Lol

 

Really? wow! You're really only thinking of yourself and not getting your wife at all. Even if she ends up giving you an affidavit stating she's 1000% ok with it, she's only giving you enough rope to hang yourself.

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Really? wow! You're really only thinking of yourself and not getting your wife at all. Even if she ends up giving you an affidavit stating she's 1000% ok with it, she's only giving you enough rope to hang yourself.

 

Wow, that’s a really negative statement. How can you come to that conclusion based on what’s written here. You font know us and especially her. Webe been together almost 30 years. Have been thru all the good and bad together. We go to sleep every night with my hand on her ass. Literally. We have the best life together I could ever imagine, we talked about this trip last night. She now says she has completely processed it and wants me to go and have a good time. She said she will be waiting fir me with open arms when I get home. Who knows, she may even do an overnight with one of her boy toys while I’m away. In fact when I brought up my trepidation about going again, she laughed and said stop being a pussy, just go and have fun. I asked for advice, not to be judged.

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So, 'Archie' what are you going to do ? :).

 

 

Well after much discussion with my beautiful wife, she assured me she’s processed it and wants me to have a good time. In fact, she said “ stop being a pussy, go and have fun”. Therefore, I’m taking Veronica to the sock hop and Betty will be waiting for me with open arms and legs when I get back.

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I could do that but I think there would always be some doubt in my wife’s mind on whether I told the truth or not .

 

I DO hope we get a report that everything went fine, and you returned with your wife waiting in just the manner you hoped, because in the lifestyle the above statement is a Texas-sized Red Flag.:redflag:

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I DO hope we get a report that everything went fine, and you returned with your wife waiting in just the manner you hoped, because in the lifestyle the above statement is a Texas-sized Red Flag.:redflag:

 

 

 

It’s all good. Trip isn’t till June. In the meantime, we have been fucking like high school kids. We talk every night. Our policy in our house is that our bedroom door is locked at 10 pm every night. Kids stay out. We are seeing the couple in question next weekend for some foursome fun. My wife is looking into a trip to Florida by herself to see one of her boy toys. There is zero issues. Life is good

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... My wife actually joked that she would like to do a trip if she found the right guy to do it with. I’d be fine with it. As long as I knew she was safe...

Hopefully your wife is not joking.

 

Your story makes me glad that my wife and I are past this. We've both done out-of-towners alone with play partners as well as alone play at home. No problem, it's hot when we're reconnecting.

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Update, update, update

 

So went on my trip to see the concert with my FWB. We had a great time, stayed in touch with my wife while away as did my FWB with her husband. My wife welcomed me back with open arms and was happy that I had a good time. In fact last night, wife and I went to dinner and a show and had amazing sex when we got home. All is good in my world.

 

For those wondering, I don’t think being away on an overnight, actually 2 nights, added any type of increased intimacy between us. It was like travelling with a good friend with the added benefit of sex. We enjoyed hanging out together and we enjoyed fucking. We didn’t cuddle or fall asleep in each other’s arms. There were definite boundaries and we kept to them. We both would have loved if our spouses were with us so we are hopefully going to figure something out for all 4 of us to get away.

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