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  1. #1
    Swingers Board Addict njbm's Avatar
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    couple
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    Scarletknight29

    Default Other male too romantic with my wife

    We are friendly with a couple and have played several times. At our last session, the other husband was a little too romantic for my wife and my taste. He told her he would dream about her that night and did a few other things that were sort of possessive, clingy and characteristic of a bf/gf relationship. We both felt he was being disrespectful to his wife and we were uncomfortable. We see them at house parties and we do things with them of a vanilla nature ( have one thing planned) , but we both feel icky about it. It is not jealousy for me, my wife agrees it is over the top. We both swing together for variety and fun, but other husbands are respectful and do not make it like my wife is their new gf, to the detriment of their wife.

    Discuss with him? Downshift? Cut ties? We both like the wife.


  2. #2
    Life is for living Judy39's Avatar
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    Couple (female posting)

    Default re: Other male too romantic with my wife

    It may just be a matter of taste, more than being rude or disrespectful. Different people enjoy different things which is fair enough.

    If your wife is still attracted to him I'd ask him to tone it down, but if it's so bad that your wife doesn't even like him anymore - then what's the point of discussing it? Just maintain the distance, say you're not interested etc.

  3. #3

    Default re: Other male too romantic with my wife

    Is it an option to have a quiet word with the husband ? If you like this couple a lot it might make sense to try and resolve the issue, it could just be a bit of banter on his part or him trying to make your wife feel good , it's really hard to say without being there. If that's not an option then how about getting your wife to ask his wife if she was indeed a bit put out by what he said.

  4. #4
    Swingers Board Addict njbm's Avatar
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    Scarletknight29

    Default re: Other male too romantic with my wife

    Their wife seems to overlook anything he does. I saw her husband really just hitting on another wife behind her husband’s back. I asked their wife if her husband’s behavior might tee off the other husband and she was unconcerned.

    I think we are friendly enough that my wife, who is very direct, can say something. I predict no change. The guy is on the hunt like a dog looking for a bone. We just have a different outlook. The guy seems to have a crush on my wife.But he acts that way towards other women too.

  5. #5
    Swingers Board Addict agreatguy's Avatar
    Status
    Couple - Man posting

    Default re: Other male too romantic with my wife

    If he acts that way with other women too then I'm not sure it is as much of a concern "romantically". The question really seems to be whether he is just acting like too much of a dick. We've seen couples in the clubs like this. He is hitting on every woman there and she's somewhere hiding in a corner. You never really know the dynamic going on between the two. It's almost like he's using her as a ticket and for whatever reason she goes along.
    Whatever the dynamic is I doubt it will change. I've had to run guys like this off before. They just move on to the next opportunity.

  6. #6

    Default re: Other male too romantic with my wife

    Be careful when dealing with this. We lost a favorite lover because he saw us as to 'porny' when I requested he slow down on the romance (at my wife's request). Had I been more tactful, I may have avoided chasing him off.

  7. #7

    Default re: Other male too romantic with my wife

    Id be asking him to tone it down and reviewing the relationship, this sounds like trouble.

  8. #8

    Default re: Other male too romantic with my wife

    Quote Originally Posted by njbm View Post
    We are friendly with a couple and have played several times. At our last session, the other husband was a little too romantic for my wife and my taste. He told her he would dream about her that night and did a few other things that were sort of possessive, clingy and characteristic of a bf/gf relationship. We both felt he was being disrespectful to his wife and we were uncomfortable. We see them at house parties and we do things with them of a vanilla nature ( have one thing planned) , but we both feel icky about it. It is not jealousy for me, my wife agrees it is over the top. We both swing together for variety and fun, but other husbands are respectful and do not make it like my wife is their new gf, to the detriment of their wife.

    Discuss with him? Downshift? Cut ties? We both like the wife.
    Need to get together and talk it over with them - explain your limits and try to continue with your swinging relationship with them.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Other male too romantic with my wife

    End it immediately. I was in a situation where a man I let my wife play with, tried to end our marriage and take her from me. This clingy attitude is unsafe. Seems he caught feelings and maybe feels as if the grass is greener on your side of the fence. And that's the last thing you need, is for your wife to have a shoulder to cry on, who might have alterior motives, if you two ever have an argument. The chance is not worth the risk.


  10. #10

    Default Re: Other male too romantic with my wife

    We had a similar situation. The guy half of our first couple was got to be sneaky, tried to kiss me when no one was looking, was always grabbing me and this was outside of playtime. He was generally just too involved. This couple also did not seem to enjoy being with each other as much, they never really touched each other or seemed to communicate. Come to find out he was cheating on her with another woman. We just got an icky feeling from him like he would have replaced her with me very easily. We are no longer friends.

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