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  1. #26
    Swingers Board Addict lcmim's Avatar
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    lcmim

    Default Re: Bipolar Hypersexuality

    "Cheating is the wrong way to swing." If that is what you got from my post then perhaps I was too casual in my reply.

    There are swingers who also cheat, but when they are cheating they are not swinging.
    If they are cheating that implies that they have someone to cheat on. Swinging is a "team endeavor" If they are cheating then their partner is out of the loop. It is therefore not swinging as I understand it. If a couple sets up whatever boundaries that they choose and then plays within those boundaries then I would think that they are swinging. When one steps beyond the boundaries without the knowledge and consent of the partner (think hall pass) then they are cheating.

    I do not consider the two terms in any way compatible in the same action. I would think them to be mutually exclusive. It is not that someone could not do both, just not at the same time.

  2. #27
    Swingers Board Addict padoc's Avatar
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    padoc

    Default Re: Bipolar Hypersexuality

    Again….excuuuuuuse me for offering an opinion that doesn't validate you. You can't always get what you want. But good luck trying.

  3. #28

    Default Re: Bipolar Hypersexuality

    What advice are you getting from the professionals treating you?

  4. #29

    Default Re: Bipolar Hypersexuality

    lcmim, I did get your meaning, I just didn't phrase it anywhere as well as you did. When I started this thread, your meaning is what I understood to be true.

    Jane, I'm guessing you mean strictly concerning the hypersexual component? Because it's part of a bigger picture with more severe consequences for my family if they're not managed.

    Medically, there is no pill that will target the hypersexuality without other consequences. There are medications that will erase any sexual interest and dampen my mind to the point I cannot function without assistance. It took over two years of trial and error, a roller-coaster ride of side effects and loss of control, to find the balance of medications that bring my extremes under control and allow me to function. I have a really good doctor, because it can take many more years to go through all the different medications to find the ones that somehow work. Nobody is suggesting that it's in anyone's best interest to dive back into that hellscape.

    Psychologically, I've been given tools that do help manage my hypersexuality to some degree, along with many others to manage the velocity of any mood shifts that are trying to occur and to change the trajectory of ones that are going to any particular extreme. Primarily, though, I've been advised that my hypersexuality is something to be managed between myself and my wife. It's our marriage.

    Our agreement was in place before I posted here. P and C are right that I have zero concerns about the feelings of people I've never met making disparaging comments about our agreement or my condition. They're working so hard to deny me some weird Internet forum stamp of approval. It's not relevant.

    I'm also pretty sure their efforts to show how unwelcome I am have ruined the chance that I might hear from the others on this forum that could answer the question I actually asked. People dealing with their bipolar conditions rarely open themselves up about it, let alone in a place where the sanctimonious are so eager to judge them.

    Padoc, man, that stopped being a thing 30 years ago. Good luck to you too. You'll need it more than me.

  5. #30

    Default Re: Bipolar Hypersexuality

    Hey BP72,

    I am the husband of a hypersexual bipolar wife. We have been attempting to live in an arrangement similar to what you and your wife are trying. It's not always easy, but it can be fun. The key difference though, is that I have become turned on by Annie's hypersexuality and enjoy "feeding the beast", and appreciate others helping us.

    It sounds like you have good communication with your wife, and if you are like me and Annie, this was not your first solution. That being said, it could be tricky if you think your wife is not fully committed to the idea. It will be important to continue to communicate and make use of available medical resources. There is a site called mdjunction, they have some forums for bipolar, hypersexuality, and spouses of people with bipolar. You should check it out, some of the posters there have ways to cope with their hypersexuality and maybe you will get some good suggestions.

    I wouldn't worry about how your arrangement is defined, just live the life that works for you.

    Mike

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