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  1. #26

    Default Re: When your Vanilla friend finds out

    Don't forget that we were all "Vanilla" at one time, then someone introduced us to the idea. you yourself said the friends involved were the ones that introduced you to the Lifestyle. If you truly think she suspects and she was trying to get an invite.........well that sounds like someone's curiosity is peaked!(or titillated)

  2. #27

    Default Re: When your Vanilla friend finds out

    How about: I really don't want to talk about this right now with you. Or turn it around and start asking her very personal questions about her sex life so she can also experience how awkward this feels from your point of view.
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  3. #28

    Default Re: When your Vanilla friend finds out

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoCouple View Post
    How about: I really don't want to talk about this right now with you. Or turn it around and start asking her very personal questions about her sex life so she can also experience how awkward this feels from your point of view.
    I’m laughing because we used to discuss details. We have been like sisters for many years. We had the three date rule that I didn’t always keep. And she would sometimes date guys for months before finally giving in. Still more awkward for me. Right now it would be easier giving you details than me giving her details. Before I got married I gave her the good, the bad and the ugly.
    We Are...

  4. #29
    Swingers Board Addict Wornsilver's Avatar
    Status
    Couple, he posts

    Default Re: When your Vanilla friend finds out

    Quote Originally Posted by PSULioness View Post
    I’m laughing because we used to discuss details. We have been like sisters for many years. We had the three date rule that I didn’t always keep. And she would sometimes date guys for months before finally giving in. Still more awkward for me. Right now it would be easier giving you details than me giving her details. Before I got married I gave her the good, the bad and the ugly.
    I like the idea that she may be wanting an invitation. Or she is just nosy and wants a thrill. One thing I have to remember, always, is that the only way two people can keep a secret is if one of them is dead.
    Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden.

  5. #30

    Default Re: When your Vanilla friend finds out

    After being in this swinging thing for a short time compared to many others on here I am beginning to understand that it’s not always the men who want to swap. I read all the posts about how you get your wife interested. For me it was my wife who planned and it was with her girlfriend. Who knows how that conversation started. We always had fun with them in a vanilla way. It’s hard to say we are closer now. We have always been close. Lioness you are also the one who initiated this for you and your husband and you did it with friends. I always thought guys were the horny ones.
    Now to your friend. Maybe she is bringing up what she suspects hoping you will invite her. She already knows. If she was disgusted she would be running from the topic. When she asks next time about the subject ask her what she thinks of it. Be prepared for more questions. Try to answer in general terms not what you do. If it goes on and on it means she is waiting for an invite.
    I’m going to finish by saying for us swinging with friends is great. Think you know that already.

  6. #31

    Default Re: When your Vanilla friend finds out

    We decided that if she asked I would tell. She asked and I told her in very general terms that we have gone to parties. She did ask specifics like how many people. How many I was with. Did I watch my husband. Was everyone in the same room. She asked if I was with other friends. At first I didn’t understand. Then she asked if I was with my roommate. She made a comment that she doesn’t think she could do that. I told her nobody does anything the don’t want to. She was inquisitive. She didn’t ask to do anything and I didn’t invite.
    We Are...

  7. #32

    Default Re: When your Vanilla friend finds out

    Yet.
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  8. #33

    Default Re: When your Vanilla friend finds out

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoCouple View Post
    Yet.
    Lol. You’re probably right. Don’t think I am ready for it YET. I feel things can only go bad at some point. I know it hasn’t caused a problem with my husbands friend. My feeling is the dynamic is different between me and my gf. I have said we are like sisters from different misters. Maybe it will be great. For me it would be awkward but aren’t all firsts awkward? My husband says I’m silly. Of course he would say that lol. My thinking is possibly inviting her to a party when we go. That won’t happen before the fall.
    Maybe I’m just afraid at this time.
    We Are...


  9. #34
    Swingers Board Addict Guy1964's Avatar
    Status
    M. Married

    Default Re: When your Vanilla friend finds out

    Just out of curiosity, are you afraid she'll say "yes" or afraid she'll say "no?"

  10. #35

    Default Re: When your Vanilla friend finds out

    Quote Originally Posted by Guy1964 View Post
    Just out of curiosity, are you afraid she'll say "yes" or afraid she'll say "no?"
    Quote Originally Posted by Guy1964 View Post
    Just out of curiosity, are you afraid she'll say "yes" or afraid she'll say "no?"
    If she says no it makes things very easy. We go on being best friends. Our relationship doesnít change. If she say Yes, things do change and that can be good or catastrophic. I am afraid adding any new dynamic to a friendship opens up the door to something going wrong. If something goes wrong with my college friends I would be upset but I wouldnít be devastated. I enjoy having them as friends but they are not my everyday friends.
    We Are...

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