Vacationing with two other couples - Mrs. E a little nervous?

Some people here have probably seen my previous posts about our experiences with Mrs. E's long-time friend and her significant other ("husband" for simplicity). The conversation had started gently a year or two after she let it slip during a girl talk phone conversation that I had a related fantasy, and when we were visiting them in Vegas in the fall, Mrs. E's friend made it known that her and her husband sometimes played with another couple and that we were invited to hang out at their pool if we were inclined.

This was what she needed to get started, since she was comfortable with her friend and friend's husband, and while we kept the night "soft", she tried and learned a lot. The following night we connected with that couple alone and did our first full swap.

In the spring, we met up with her friend and husband again and spent a long weekend at a vanilla resort, which also went unexpectedly great. They gave us the space we needed to enjoy the city and still have plenty of playtime with them. No tension at all.

So now fall is rolling around again and they're suggesting we all meet up in Palm Springs. Us, them, and the third couple.

I've been to Palm Springs, Mrs. E hasn't. I know it's smallish and it's implied there will be a lot more free time hanging around the resort than on our last trip to a busier area, but overall, I like the idea and think with two couples there, it might actually be just as easy for any of us to get some alone time when we need it. She likes it, too. However, she only had some soft play with both the husband and the wife from the third couple. We both like the wife, they got some girl-talk bonding in after playing before she played with the husband and they've stayed in touch, and we have no strong opinions about the husband. He was in her mouth while I was behind her for Mrs. E's first "spit roast", and that's about the extent of our connection with him.

Point is, she's maybe overthinking full swap with them. Part of this might be because she only met them the once and hasn't seen them face-to-face in a full year. Part of this might be because the wife likes girl-on-girl play and Mrs. E is tweaking herself out about seeing her again. I've reminded her that ultimately, there's no rule that says we have to do full swap with them or that she has to indulge with the wife, but I get the same answer I often get about going to a club.

"We can't go there and just NOT, that would be weird."

Anybody have any advice to put her at ease? Should we have a conversation with somebody, here? She isn't typically a very direct person and I don't think she wants to talk to the third wife about how she feels about it. I've put off the decision as long as possible, she doesn't want to say 'no' and really wants to go to Palm Springs, but it's time to buy tickets.

 

I've been to Palm Springs, Mrs. E hasn't. I know it's smallish and it's implied there will be a lot more free time hanging around the resort than on our last trip to a busier area

There's a fair bit to do in the PSP area. Joshua Tree National Park is spectacular, a guided road trip into the desert to see the San Andreas fault is interesting, and the Date Palm trip is always an amusement, as is trip to see the Salton Sea. There is the tram ride up the mountain as well. Plan some excursions.

Which resort are you headed to? Sea Mountain Inn can be overwhelming with its public sex. Depends on whether you just want to be naked in public and play in private--we prefer the latter. PM us for additional info if desired.

There's a public sex resort in Palm Springs? I knew that was a nude resort but didn't realize that. That sounds like fun to me but I agree it'd be overwhelming for her.

No, the discussion is between a couple of vanilla resort hotels, as we did before. We had two rooms in the same hotel and it worked out fine with us socializing by the pool or at the bar in the morning and at the end of the day, so the idea was to get three.

Joshua Tree I know about and we planned to do that, as it's been on my list for a while. It's a stunning area, for sure, and I'm happy about the prospect of visiting. However, we had a sightseeing laundry list every day last time and the other couple have a daughter and son-in-law in that city and so were doing things with them. (We discretely elected not to try to connect. "Hey, remember the neighbor who used to babysit for you? Huge coincidence, she's in town, too!" ) Here I think we'd be more likely to have a couple lazy days on this trip. Maybe too much familiarity with two couples? I'd think with three we can mix things up a little more.

The bigger issue is just that Mrs. E (will slap me for saying that she) had a low-key giggly girl-crush thing going with the third wife after they played a little. I think the prospect of playing with a woman again and also the prospect of full swap between us has her second-guessing herself. Personally, I am 110% supportive. I'll talk to her about it some more tonight at dinner and see how she's feeling about it. I suspect the girl-on-girl component is the bigger taboo, as she was really surprised with herself over that and didn't talk about it much afterwards.

Don't worry this to death! Go with the expectation of having fun and then do what you're comfortable doing and with whom. You already know both couples, you know the six of you are reasonably compatable and you've had some quite pleasant interaction before this. Do what feels good! Honestly, it sounds like a potentially outrageously erotic weekend. Wish we were going too! Take notes and pictures and tell the story when you get home.

There's a public sex resort in Palm Springs?

Sea Mountain Inn

Just because you go doesn't mean anything will even happen. Look at it as a weekend getaway that just happens to have some people you know being there at the same time. This way there's no pressure or expectations on her. After that, whatever happens in PS, stays in PS...

We talked about it last night and she's finally absorbed both of those points, that she's overthinking it and nothing in particular has to happen. I'm going to be looking at airfare tonight.

Don't forget to let us know if anything happens...

Thanks for the supportive messages, this is always a good place to turn. We have it all booked and are actually really excited, one week to go and it just turned pretty cold here so it's a welcome change.

Thanks for the supportive messages, this is always a good place to turn. We have it all booked and are actually really excited, one week to go and it just turned pretty cold here so it's a welcome change.

Enjoy whatever happens. What matters is that you are going to spend some unstructured time with people you like in a fun place. One of the things about this sort of trip is that keeping low key and modest expectations often allows for the unexpected to happen spontaneously.

Just by way of an update, things are going great so far. We arrived yesterday afternoon beat up from the flights, but she loves the scenery, and we didn't realize the third couple wouldn't be arriving until today. That gave her a little time to adjust and for us to get our clocks reset. Happy to say we didn't waste much time, our play partners kept us up late last night.

We still woke up early this morning, she's out by the pool and I'm just finishing up a couple of things that popped up while we were travelling before I shut down at work for good. Thanks again for the encouragement.

Let us know how the resort is (and which one it is). We are thinking of spending some time with another couple there ourselves and are interested in other's thoughts. I know at least one of the resorts have changed hands in the last year...

Home and back to mundane life.

All went well, and we did get to do some hiking on our own on Monday. The rest of it was mostly screwing and relaxing, and I'd love to say we're all "fucked out" but we've definitely taken some of the energy home with us.

Six is a good number, both in and out of the bedroom. It's small enough to get everyone together, but if one couple needs to break off for a while or a couple of people in the group feel like sitting out, it doesn't spoil any plans. I'll try to post some more in the 'adventures' forum later.