Jealousy of your play partners...other partners?

Has anyone else been jealous of their play partners other partners? I can watch hubby with another woman and not feel a pang of jealousy. But I have specific play partners that when I see them with others, I get jealous!

Is this crazy or what? Has anyone else felt this way? Hubby says he has had the same reaction with a few of his female "favorites"...

No, Sexy Kitten. You're not crazy. I've felt it.

It is human nature. I felt cheated on the first time. After a very hot session I excused my self to freshen up and came back and he was involved with someone else. Even though I had someone else to play with I found myself looking over to see what they were doing. The jealousy passed.

Thank you for the support. I have a fairly new "favorite" partner who I am in lust with and it has been strangely difficult for me to come to terms with his interest in others. He is very discreet about his other "dates" but we are involved in a rather small community of people so I do tend to find out now and again what's going on and I have been shocked to find how jealous I am. Plus I have found myself lacking any interest in meeting new people, which I believe is exactly the wrong thing to do. Hubby is aware of my feelings and has been understanding and supportive and we are trying to expand our circle of friends so that I switch my focus off of my "favorite". I just never expected to react this way. I really thought I could maintain emotionless sex and this has thrown me a curve ball...

Thank you for the support. I have a fairly new "favorite" partner who I am in lust with and it has been strangely difficult for me to come to terms with his interest in others. He is very discreet about his other "dates" but we are involved in a rather small community of people so I do tend to find out now and again what's going on and I have been shocked to find how jealous I am. Plus I have found myself lacking any interest in meeting new people, which I believe is exactly the wrong thing to do. Hubby is aware of my feelings and has been understanding and supportive and we are trying to expand our circle of friends so that I switch my focus off of my "favorite". I just never expected to react this way. I really thought I could maintain emotionless sex and this has thrown me a curve ball...

I have been on both sides of this. I have felt a pang of jealousy as it pertains to a couple of my favorite play partners. I find it easy enough to get through it. I have even joked about it with them. Communicating feelings is important not only to your primary but to those close to you.

On the other side, I have been the "favorite" of a certain woman who I hold dearly. She had a tendency to gravitate towards me at every event there was. It got to a point where I had to cut it off as I was the only play partner she was seeking. It put an immense amount of pressure on me and I felt as long as I was accommodating she would not venture out to find other partners. The biggest issue was that she seems to avoid/ act cold towards a couple of my favorite partners now, who think it's because of me and her jealousy. Something I do not like seeing.

Here's a scenario that bugs me. We meet a couple. Husband likes my wife (as per usual), the other wife has no interest in me. But I know, from personal knowledge, having seen it or from a cert, that the other wife has played with a friend or acquaintance who I think is objectively less attractive than me. Just bugs me. My wife says attraction is hard to explain

Does this happen to you a lot?

What is the real reasoning for this? EG; the others chicks are more pretty?

How often does this guy take your time up - thinking about him - what he is doing with others?

So is this guy single?

I think when your feelings come to the point of the way you now feel. then it's time to stop with him. also i have to ask if you had the chance and your husband said OK would you consider a poly relationship?

(don't laugh read the poly section it's full of girls/wives getting emotional feelings and be fore you know it the husband is agreeing, so he does not lose his wife)

If my wife told me that she had a emotional attachment to a guy to the point of being jealous I would insist that we make new friends and not go back to the other guy or stop swinging.

Does this happen to you a lot?

What is the real reasoning for this? EG; the others chicks are more pretty?

How often does this guy take your time up - thinking about him - what he is doing with others?

So is this guy single?

 

I think when your feelings come to the point of the way you now feel. then it's time to stop with him. also i have to ask if you had the chance and your husband said OK would you consider a poly relationship?

 

(don't laugh read the poly section it's full of girls/wives getting emotional feelings and be fore you know it the husband is agreeing, so he does not lose his wife)

 

If my wife told me that she had a emotional attachment to a guy to the point of being jealous I would insist that we make new friends and not go back to the other guy or stop swinging.

No, it does not happen to me a lot. This is really the first time I have had it happen. I understand completely it is irrational and remind myself every time I see him why we are in this LS.

I don't believe I feel the other girls are more pretty. I just really enjoy being with him. I think he reminds me the most of my husband,as far as play partners go-- height, coloring, size, technique...but yet, he is not my husband. (now there is some twisted psychological stuff, huh?)

I think of him probably daily but then we text nearly every day. Not ALL day but a quick check in every day. Sometimes with sexy pics, sometimes just hi. Once in a while, I wonder if he is texting the same thing to several women (same pics, same lines)....or if he just texting me.

No, he is not single. He has been married for 25 years. His wife is a favorite of my hubby's.

No, I do not think a poly situation would be possible nor warranted.

I'm not really sure what it is about this man that makes me jealous. As I said, I do realize it is irrational. I understand the nature of swinging and why we do what we do. I'm just at the point in our relationship (this is fairly new) that I want to still be kind of "special" to him and when I know he has been out on a date with another or has hooked up with someone at a party I was not at, I feel a pang of jealousy that it was not me.

I am sure this is just the "puppy love" stage of lust and I will get over it soon enough. Hubby says I just need to go fuck more men. LOL He's probably right.

. . . I am sure this is just the "puppy love" stage of lust and I will get over it soon enough. . . .

This jealousy about a simple playmate fades soon enough to.

Has anyone else been jealous of their play partners other partners? I can watch hubby with another woman and not feel a pang of jealousy. But I have specific play partners that when I see them with others, I get jealous!

 

Is this crazy or what? Has anyone else felt this way? Hubby says he has had the same reaction with a few of his female "favorites"...

Although I continued having sex with my ex-fiance from day one, it took me almost two years after I met the man that would become my husband before I let him play with another woman, and it had to be someone I chose. And I was jealous, insanely jealous. But I came to love that feeling, an emotional intensity seeing another having sex with someone that you have such great desire for. It has peaked again when I was able to watch hubby having sex with another woman, and later under different scenarios. I'm not S&M in any other way, but I crave that pain.

Here's a scenario that bugs me. We meet a couple. Husband likes my wife (as per usual), the other wife has no interest in me. But I know, from personal knowledge, having seen it or from a cert, that the other wife has played with a friend or acquaintance who I think is objectively less attractive than me. Just bugs me. My wife says attraction is hard to explain

Attraction IS hard to explain. But in this example, if there isn't a 4 way match, then it's a PASS...

Lol

Thanks for the explanation lol, your husband is right - go and make some new play partners - have fun.

The only difference is if it where us i would insist on it.

Regards.

Here's a scenario that bugs me. We meet a couple. Husband likes my wife (as per usual), the other wife has no interest in me. But I know, from personal knowledge, having seen it or from a cert, that the other wife has played with a friend or acquaintance who I think is objectively less attractive than me. Just bugs me. My wife says attraction is hard to explain

My wife and I had that exact thing happen in the mid 80s when our best friends seduced us. Our male friend and my wife really hit it off with each other. My wife was not working at the time and our male friend was working nights so they spent many afternoons playing in his bed. Unfortunately, even though the wife and I liked each other very much, she was not really interested in playing with me, and over the next few years she and I had sex with each other only a couple more times even though I knew she was having sex with a number of other men.

While I was really disappointed, I really enjoyed the thought of my friend and my wife having sex when I was at work. We eventually solved the problem by my wife and I having threesomes with him along with her also playing with him alone. A few years later our friends started playing with another couple we know and ended up getting divorced and switching partners with the other couple who also got divorced. Throughout this time both couples knew we were still playing with our male friend.

A few years ago our male friend's second wife died of a unexpected heart attack. In the years since, we have become even closer with him. That friend is Bill and last fall we all decided we wanted to be in a polymorphous relationship. It has worked very well for us. Bill and I are situationally bi so it opens up a lot of combinations of playing. In addition each of us is able to bring up the idea of a playdate and what type of a playdate without needing to ask anyone's permission.

In fact we are going over to his house tomorrow for a playdate in his waterbed.

Hi, all. I am coming back to tell you about something that happened this weekend...

Last week a very favorite play partner of mine and his wife (my hubby's favorite partner) hosted a party. He told me upfront that there would be no playtime between us at the party but that he would come for me the next morning. I was not happy about these "instructions" but wasn't certain if he was serious or this was some sort of power game. As for the "no play at the party", I assumed he was keeping his opportunities open for the evening. I wasn't happy about that either (Yes, I was jealous-- he IS my favorite) but I understand we are not exclusive. His wife informed my hubby that in fact, he had his sights set on a definite someone coming to the party and she was lamenting that she may have to "take one for the team" as she was not into the woman's BF.

The night of the party, they invited us over a few hours early. Our assumption was a "pre-party"...that never happened. There was kissing, touching, all sorts of indications of desire...but ....nothing. So...guests start to arrive and from the minute it all begins, my play partner suddenly stops speaking to me. He flat out ignores me. No pat on the butt, no touch of the hand, no smile across the room. It is as if he does not know me.

-----Let me stop and say right now, this man and I are like magnets. Every time we are together, we are glued to each other. Our friends all see it, they all know it. So for us to not play together was strange enough but for him to ignore me was too much. This behavior was bizarre to say the least...and set of a wave of whispering.

Now..the evening progressed, my play partner, his wife, the woman he was interested in and her BF head off to a room. Time passes and they all reappear. I am being social, chatting, flirting. I am enjoying myself. I see him exit the room and he ignores me-- again.

Later in the evening, people are beginning to leave and he goes to start cleaning up. Cleaning up at the end of a party is kind of "our thing" so I go to help. He speaks to me only as much as needed. We finish and hubby and I head to bed ( we were staying over). He offers us clean sheets for the bed and says good night. (still acting rather...cold...)

The next morning, the wife walks into our room and crawls in bed with us. (she and hubby had not played the night before either) Next thing I know, in walks my play partner, grabs me by the hand, and without a word, marches me back to his room, acting as if everything is perfectly normal between us.

I was in a bit of a fog that day but as my mind cleared, I began to get angry. I felt..used? Manipulated?

Come to find out (from his wife) that nothing happened between my play partner and this woman he wanted so badly. He couldn't get hard. (nor could the BF) And here is where I felt...satisfied? Vindicated? Because that has NEVER been a problem between us. I can get him hard by smiling at him.

So here I am, still in this strange relationship with this man that I am at a complete loss to understand.

Wow , I hope you clear things up with him , but I have to say I would find that massively disrespectful if it was my wife being treated that way and I would be expecting an apology and some kind of explanation as a minimum.

I mean, this episode has left you feeling shifty so you at least should let him know that if he pulls that trick again he can forget playing with you again

I'll admit that I have felt jealousy watching my wife having a very satisfying experience with another man.

Perhaps I have some thoughts that will help others. We all deal with the 'J' word at times in this lifestyle.

I've never felt jealousy from watching my wife have a great time with another man. Frankly, it's pretty freekin' erotic to me. But, I sometimes have felt jealousy when she's out having a great time - and I'm not (even though I encouraged her solo play). And jealousy on her part ruined the relationship with the best play partner I've ever had.

Jealousy is an ugly emotion that is counter-intuitive in this lifestyle. If I develop feelings of jealousy, I own them. I cannot lay that baggage at her feet. It's time to have a chat with myself and refuse to allow Mr. Jealousy to take up residence in my brain.

The 'up' side is that, for me at least, jealousy is a fleeting emotion; it never lasts.

I think jealousy should not be ignored, but neither should it be coddled. Face it down and remember that this lifestyle is all about different sexual encounters for everyone involved.

Lol So your "Puppy Love" is turning into a dog with big teeth and a mean temper - but you just keep cuddling it lol.