Jump to content
Sexyinboots

What's wrong with me ?

Recommended Posts

My husband and I started swinging after many years of discussion, about a 2 years ago. I find myself having an issue as of late. (Backstory) we have done only done full swap or soft swap at a local club, and had a profile set up on swinging website, he was to do all the talking and I just reviewed not a problem. He asked if he could sext I was on board.

 

A few months ago (about 6) we decide we wanted to make some friends with benefits outside of the club we met a few couples set up some group chats everything was going great. The flirting was fun and exciting and going to people's houses and them coming to ours was great although nothing passed groping and kissing happened outside of the club.

 

We started hanging out with another couple a month ago as like we did before set up chats and hung out a few times, my husband didn't really like the guy after the first meet up he was very blaa, we decided to try again to see if it was just because he was nervous things went better the next time. For some reason I felt off about her after the next time we hung out she's very chatty and flirty, I chalked it off because I didn't drinking pretty hard the night before and sometimes I feel a bit off the next day.

 

After a few days I still didn't feel any better about her I had some panic going on. I took a look at my husband private chats with her and she would always say things like( how's your day going hot stuff your handsome and so one) I hadn't look through them for about a week and it started to bother me that they were talking so much.

 

A month I got into a minor car accident about 1km away from my house and it took him 20 mins to get to me we have kids so he had to make sure they were all locked up before he came. the next day was sore and board and decide to go through each other's chats again I noticed he had been talking to her well I was waiting for him to come to the accdent. I was mad instead of coming to check on his wife right away he had to continuous conversation With her.

 

Then I scrolled up a bit and noticed a few time stamps with nothing written and her responds after the gaps "awesome" but the stuff above would not have made her respond with that word. I asked him if he erased anything of the chat he grabbed the phone and looked at where I was pointing he said it must have been a pic he sent And didn't like, it was a few days earlier so I didn't really question. Well my heart started pounding and that night and he had had a few drinks and I discussed how I was feeling off about her he asked if it was because she had asked to meet up with him privately,

 

I asked when that was he said a few days ago and that I had already seen it nope. flags went up that's what he erased, I went through all of the message and the message was not there. I lost it went through all his phone found pics of her on his phone that she had sent not all nudes, he does like to look a pic not a big deal but why did he have to save it to him phone when he could have easily open the chats and seen them there? He said he didn't realize he wasn't aloud to because it wasn't discussed, before we started swinging we had that rules I didn't know we had changed it. He promised he never met up with her and never would I told him we are cutting all ties and we did.

 

We are also taking a break from swinging and made new rules for when we get back into it. I have no problem with the other couples we hang out with I feel confident and trusting. But i can't get her out of my head, and for some reason I can't trust him anymore I can't sleep and I want to check his phone all the time (I don't) just to see if she's been messaging him. I can't shake it I trust him with every other woman, we have talked until we all blue in the face but I can't get over help don't know what to do. Also we never had sex with them just flirting and kissing.

Share this post


Link to post

We have had many full swaps and group swaps with sometimes 2-4 couples at a time but all at the club with no jealousy. Like I said the other couple we were hanging out with outside of the club caused no issues either, just this one particular case.

Share this post


Link to post

I re read the whole thing after reading alexandsandra's reply I couldn't see how they got you only had one experience. Did you make it clear to the other couple private meet ups were not allowed from the start? From what you wrote you had both decided that all messages were to be seen by both of you, am I right? If so him deleting them and not telling you right away before you were able to see is a big red flag I feel you I agree that you need to get some outside help. When you're swinging there should be trust, something even as little not saying it's not a big to you, as this can destroy a relationship. I have recently been burned by almost the same thing, as of right now we are on a break if we ever go back and if we do there will a big difference on how we go about it.

Share this post


Link to post

Not sure either. Yes our rule was anything thing to do with the lifestyle we shared that included private chats. Yes they were told beforehand that was the deal. I wouldn't be upset if he would have either told me or left them on there. I was completely honest about everything.

Share this post


Link to post

Stopping seeing the other couple is the right think to do here. If either one of us say no to a couple (or anything else for that matter), the answer for both of us is no. It sounds like your husband and the other woman were getting too close indicating that something is either wrong with your relationship or hers. Work on strengthening the trust between the two of you and in the future, limit texting to either group texts or guy/guy girl/girl only. When guy/girl texts start happening, it usually only leads to problems and misunderstanding. Good luck and let us know how things proceed.

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...