Had a weird night. Went to a swingers club where there was no swinging

I was excited to check out a new club this weekend. It looked promising on SLS, and it had a great set up: a clubhouse and clothing-optional campground on a large, private piece of land.

The party started normally with lots of drinking and dancing. Normally I am able to have sex with four or five women per night at these parties. (I'm a well-hung, in shape young guy. Not to brag, lol.). But when I invited various women to play, I got nowhere. One woman's husband angrily told me not to talk to his wife.

The play area was basically deserted, even though there were almost 100 party goers. Two married couples came through (and not with each other, just two instances of plain old married people sex). And this was Halloween!

Anyway, the party was fun, but it was a big disappointment to travel all the way to the club, pay the entrance fee, and find out that the people weren't even playing. Anyone else ever experienced anything like this?

Sounds like your previous success set you up for disappointment.

It is a common statement around here that every party is different. The same place on different nights can be completely different. I'm not surprised to hear what you've described any more than I would be if you said it was a night of epic orgies.

We never go to parties with any expectation other than having a good time and hopefully meeting some new friends. That seems to be the prevalent attitude among successful swingers.

That's very good advice. And I do try to approach the parties without assuming I'll have any success. But still- almost 100 attendees and no swinging? What do you think was going on?

Since there was an attached campground most people probably played in private spaces. In my experience if there is an option to play privately most people choose that. Especially if singles are in attendance. We've had very bad experiences with single guys trying to butt in when we play in open areas, so generally we only do that in couples only spaces.

It sounds like this party is more couples and perhaps sexy, but not actual sex, focused. Maybe try again another time; sometimes it takes some trust and familiarity before people will play with a single. I'd also recommend not trying to play with women without their husbands when you first meet. Most couples will be more receptive to the offer of a threesome. Often the husband will then say he prefers just to watch.

I have to say your attitude about married people and sex is quite off-putting. There is nothing "plain, old" about two people who are committed and in love having sex. Perhaps your attitude comes across as disrespectful and that is why you didn't have success at this particular party.

Good luck in the future and I hope you keep us updated on your experiences!

That was not the right way for me to refer to the married people having sex. Sorry to have offended you.

My wife and have not even been at a club party where nobody was playing so I suspect that the situation was what FunCoupleDayton speculated -- people were exercising their preferences for private spaces.

. . . One woman's husband angrily told me not to talk to his wife. . .

I'm enjoying the insights in this thread. Couples did not appear to be playing privately. Husbands and wives arrived together and left together. No moaning to be heard around the campsites. Very different from what I've seen at this type of club in the past.

I haven't been to the clubs in awhile, but my overall impression is that there are a lot of people who enjoy the sexy atmosphere, but are not swingers...just couples looking for the excitement of the venue. Maybe that was more prevalent at this party...

We have noticed something similar as well. Like a big open swing club party and nobody playing. I would say we have been to 'swing clubs' where 70 some odd people are there and it is pretty apparent when you go to the play area's NOBODY was playing. Where there are private places but they are just left empty.

Also we have had really similar almost angry responses where people are not chatty at all when you try and talk to them.

NO I have no idea what is going on, but I would confirm as a couple that we have experienced things that are very similar.

We've seen swing parties with no swinging. We've gone to parties with low expectations and had a six some. Our motto is: Whatever we think is going to happen is not what happens.

Since there was an attached campground most people probably played in private spaces. In my experience if there is an option to play privately most people choose that. Especially if singles are in attendance. We've had very bad experiences with single guys trying to butt in when we play in open areas, so generally we only do that in couples only spaces.

 

It sounds like this party is more couples and perhaps sexy, but not actual sex, focused. Maybe try again another time; sometimes it takes some trust and familiarity before people will play with a single. I'd also recommend not trying to play with women without their husbands when you first meet. Most couples will be more receptive to the offer of a threesome. Often the husband will then say he prefers just to watch.

 

I have to say your attitude about married people and sex is quite off-putting. There is nothing "plain, old" about two people who are committed and in love having sex. Perhaps your attitude comes across as disrespectful and that is why you didn't have success at this particular party.

 

Good luck in the future and I hope you keep us updated on your experiences!

We tend to agree that the post came off as offensive. Whether true or not or intended or not, it sounds like just because you travelled far, paid double the cover of a couple, and have a big difference k you feel as if you were owed something for showing up.

We rarely go to parties who allows single men for these reasons. There are a couple of exceptions where we have a couple who hosts a party with single men and we go to spend time with a few of the regular couples. Sometimes people play with single guys. Sometimes couples play together but as a general rule because even the "select single males" allowed at these events do tend to butt in, come on strong, or generally attempt to insert themselves into situations where they are not wanted, often there isn't much sex.

The other possibility was the event was at a naturalist camp that is swinger friendly but more into nudist than swinging.

Either way, what everyone has said is true. Always go with no expectations. Each event is different and your mileage will vary even at the same club depending on the mix of people.

Well, it looks like I've managed to offend a large percentage of the users on this website. Since being in the lifestyle, I have tried to be a model example of a single male. I am polite and well-groomed, I get to know both husbands and wives at parties, I ask for consent, and all those other things that I have to do as a result of being privileged to be part of the lifestyle. And the benefits of doing those things have been amazing.

All that being said, I am sorry for whatever offense I have given to others by my earlier post. In response to one suggestion above, I do suspect that this was more of a nudist resort that the owners are trying to turn into a lifestyle resort, with mixed success. That being said, I shouldn't be arrogant or approach parties with a sense of entitlement, whether because of the size of my endowment or for any other reason. This is a great forum, and I appreciate everything that I learn from it.

All that being said, I am sorry for whatever offense I have given to others by my earlier post.

I think the accepted nomenclature is "vanilla", in that it's the most popular flavor.

I was excited to check out a new club this weekend.

 

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Anyway, the party was fun, but it was a big disappointment to travel all the way to the club, pay the entrance fee, and find out that the people weren't even playing. Anyone else ever experienced anything like this?

To address the original question.. yes.

We used to have two swingers clubs here in town. The one we usually went to was a great place, laid back, fun and fairly easy for us to find someone for play, especially single guys. We liked a good threesome or gangbang and we could almost always find someone to to join us, even on a slow night. Alas, life happened and our favorite club closed... so we tried out the other place. Completely different atmosphere. We couldn't find anyone to play and we heard a lot of chatter online about people with similar experiences. For whatever reason, be it the layout, the music (which was always too loud) or the particular group of regulars (who seems a little cliquish) it was just really hard to hook up there.

What I'm saying is, every club is different. Some places are great for certain groups and activities while at the same time being completely wrong for others. It sounds to me like this just wasn't your kind of club. That's the risk we take when we try someplace new.

I can relate to the expense and effort, though! 'Tis a lot of money and sometimes we do not get our "money's worth," whether a single or couple. But that is not the location's fault. Sometimes the magic happens and sometimes it doesn't. You pays your money and you takes your chances.

We know what we'd like to have happen but it isn't always so. That's life. I had a dry streak once, 3 different parties, about $150 per, with zero success. Point is, it's not about he money or the driving, but they do factor in. Such is life. No, we don't expect "return on investment," but it's always more fun when it happens!!!!!

Don't get me wrong here; i don't wish anyone to change their behavior because of my expenditures. Sometimes, I just like to gripe in public! And this topic is germane.