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  1. #76
    Swingers Board Addict DigginIt's Avatar
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    He writes, she corrects spelling.
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    DigginIt

    Default Re: More Advice for the single men

    Absolutely love this. I have often sat around with my wife and looked at some of the things men put on their profiles. I personally wouldn't write or say half of the things these guys put in their profiles. The ones that write the best profiles seem to be married guys cheating on their wives that we won't play with.

    Honestly though, I'd rather they NOT read this because I don't want a disrespectful jackass to camouflage themselves better to increase their odds of getting into our bed.

  2. #77
    Being good is overrated sweet_tna's Avatar
    Blog Entries
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    The boss of Mr. Sweet
    SLS Profile
    Sweet_tna

    Default Re: More Advice for the single men

    We couldn't have put it better ourselves.

    =)
    I'd rather go to hell for doing something I enjoyed than heaven wondering what it's like.

  3. #78

    Default Re: More Advice for the single men

    being 'new' and single - I thank you. Will practice my writing skills and look forward to getting the job.

  4. #79

    Default Re: More Advice for the single men

    You are a smart man, Vegas Lee.

    You, too, Spoo.

    M
    Distaff is M
    Gentleman is D
    Seeking lovely adventuresů

  5. #80

    Default Re: More Advice for the single men

    Quote Originally Posted by VegasLee View Post
    Today in my email I received this wisdom and was asked to pass it on to the masses. This advise comes from a couple that has a couple of decades as Swingers along with working in Swing clubs, owning a swing club at one time and throwing parties for 1000's over the years.

    .. ....

    Great Vegas Lee, many thanks for India for this

  6. #81

    Default Re: More Advice for the single men

    Good advice, but I have to say that I'd never knowingly swing with anyone who referred to a penis as a snot Nazi.
    Sex isn't finished until everyone crosses the finish line. Until that point, it's just a favor.


  7. #82

    Default Re: More Advice for the single men

    I think that's fantastic advice. The only thing I'd add is never communicate with the wife without the husband's knowledge and approval. We're not looking for someone looking to try to cheat with the wife on the side.

  8. #83

    Default re: Rules for single males

    I must say, I really laughed at the idea of providing references. It is a good idea, but when you seriously think about it. Hahaha... sorry just wanted to share

  9. #84

    Default re: Rules for single males

    lol at the guy asking if you were working at the party. oh my that is just horrible.

    Actually happened in a way to a friend of mine at a bar meet. Some other gal came up to her and asked how much that older couple was paying her to be with them. And she was serious!?!!

    Really pissed my friend off, she was hanging with this older couple because they are friends, they weren't even touching each other. And then being accused of being a hooker, that was just not cool.

    Needless to say the offender had her name spread about quite quickly after that, several others overheard her asking it (it was one of those rare moments when the loud music went quieter).


    As far as single males, just being respectful is a huge plus. We quickly deleted mails from several who fail to understand that. Opening up your mail with "letz fuk tonite honey" is a surefire way to find the delete bin. Same goes for the morons who don't have any pics or have nothing but cock close ups.

    In person we have had very little contact with single males, actually too little for my wife's tastes. They aren't being excluded from parties around here (they are screened a bit though, the totally unknown bozos with no pics aren't allowed to sign up unless they put up a semi acceptable profile at least) , parties definitely aren't swarming with them. Maybe they are too chicken to come up and chat, who knows. My wife scours the party for them every time, and if someone is appealing, she makes a beeline to them.

  10. #85

    Default re: Rules for single males

    Great stuff indeed. The wife and I are very interested in meeting a single male for some fun, but have not had much luck. Hoping our luck may change a bit on this site.

    Single males; couple like us are out there, looking for the right person to join us. Respect is key.

  11. #86

    Default Re: Mr here

    Easygoing6998 here

    I agree with this quote and as a 68 single male who has been rejected way too many times, I would add that you have to gain the trust of the couple that your play time will not end up on the 6 a.m. news - particularly if pics have been taken

    I like the Lifestyle, I like the people in the Lifestyle, I just wish I could find and older gal - 52 to 79 that would join me in the Pacific Northwest about 140 miles North of Seattle on Vancouver Island - Courtenay

    Take care all.

  12. #87
    Oh Oui! J'aime ša! StewartP's Avatar
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    Couple, but M on the keyboard
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    dylans16

    Default re: Rules for single males

    Fiona normally locates and chats to the guys she is interested in on the websites. She then runs him by me, and I'll try and get in a 1-on-1 chat with him....
    If he can't talk with me then he's lost out.
    I'll talk about trios and if he isn't up for a threesome he's got no hope of flying solo!!
    I'll also ask if he's OK with me speaking to the people he has listed in his testimonials.

    I can't really put into words what I'm looking for when I chat with him, respect for us as a couple, self confidence but a bit of humility thrown in the mix.
    When we do a MFM he and I are going to get pretty close, physically as well as in other ways, he needs to be my accomplice, not my rival.

  13. #88
    Swingers Board Addict angelkin's Avatar
    Blog Entries
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    Coupled and taking it very slow

    Default re: Rules for single males

    Quote Originally Posted by StewartP View Post
    he needs to be my accomplice, not my rival.
    I LOVE this line Stewart! I am going to have to tell hubby about that one
    There's time for sleep when you're dead.

  14. #89

    Default Re: Mr here

    I saw references on here and a few comments... didn't read all of them but I would suggest REFERRALS.
    My wife and I started out of the gate and met a few good single guys, some use to be in a couple. But we give referrals to other couples and the single males don't even need to look for couples anymore.

    Getting in is the trick.

    WE HATE when a single guy keeps bullshitting. Especially about how many chicks he has bagged and how big his dick is...who cares. We could all sit around and talk about our past and how impressed we all our with our selves... but why?

    That normally means the guy is in secure and probably problems. We haven't even played with someone like that, not even close. AND WE ARE VERY EASY... but if you bullshit you don't even make the first cut, no matter what the person looks like. We even have some peeps with helicopters and yachts... blah blah blah... who cares. Unless you are going to donate one of your toys to our family being real is the only thing important. lol


  15. #90

    Default re: Rules for single males

    Yes that is a party foul. He may be uncomfortable around you because he is afraid you will be jealous. That sadly means that he is not comfortable with himself. If the male half of a couple is not comfortable with me "first" I would never chat up the couple. A single man has to be comfortable being around both of you or he does not play well with others.

  16. #91

    Default Re: Mr here

    Quote Originally Posted by funcouple99 View Post
    I saw references on here and a few comments... didn't read all of them but I would suggest REFERRALS.
    My wife and I started out of the gate and met a few good single guys, some use to be in a couple. But we give referrals to other couples and the single males don't even need to look for couples anymore.

    Getting in is the trick.

    WE HATE , when a single guy keeps bullshitting. Especially about how many chicks he has bagged and how big his dick is.. .who cares. We could all sit around and talk about our past and how impressed we all our with our selves... but why?

    That normally means the guy is in secure and probably problems. We haven't even played with someone like that, not even close. AND WE ARE VERY EASY.. but if you bull shit you don't even make the first cut, no matter what the person looks like. We even have some peeps with helicopters and yachts... blah blah blah... who cares. Unless you are going to donate one of your toys to our family being real is the only thing important. lol
    Had a SM last night who evidently thought he could change my mind about playing with him by making himself see more desirable. How did he do this? By telling me he'd already gotten laid twice during the party (1. It was a social. 2. I seriously doubt his ego let him get laid at all)
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  17. #92

    Default re: Rules for single males

    Good read! All good advice, although it mostly seems like common sense to me, but maybe that's because I've been involved in the lifestyle as part of a couple. We never played with a single partner, although occasionally one of the four (or six) would take a little break and we'd enjoy some two-on-one fun.

  18. #93

    Default re: Rules for single males

    In a way I feel like single men are the bottom of the totem pole (sorry, guys.). However I think you can always work your way to the top.

    *It's not all about sex: Don't try to introduce yourself to a couple or single lady by your crotch. I hate it when I get mauled by single men that are just looking for a quick bang and become touchy feely the first few seconds I meet them. I am not a prostitute so don't treat me like one. And don't talk about how amazing in bed you are and how you will "rock my world". Goodbye.

    *Get to know people first. I feel that many single guys goal is to bang, which is the overall picture, but if you can't see the forest from the trees, you're going to be disappointed.


    *Respect is a two way street. To get it you got to dish it out. Respect the couple/single person. NO means NO. Be polite.

    *Make sure you stand out in a crowd (in a good way). Have a style that is all your own, introduce yourself to everyone, be friendly.

    * And I really hate it when guys hit me up to be their "date", posing as a "couple" to avoid paying the single guy fee. I am not an escort. If you really want to go and think it's too expensive, then don't go.

    *No BS.

  19. #94

    Default Re: Rules for single males

    Quote Originally Posted by jcbicouple View Post
    What self respecting man would go to a club that treated him like a subhuman, and expected him to not only like it, but feel privileged for being allowed to be in the presence of other club-goers!?
    hmmmmm...We think only those that are less than desirable. We couldn't imagine most of the males we play with allowing themselves to be treated like that. Would you go
    There are couple of great advice in this thread.

    Apart from that, the more I read, I think me visiting a club as single male would be a big mistake...

  20. #95

    Default Re: Rules for single males

    Coming onto this thread late, but its been a challenge to find single men that mesh with us. Part of that is where to find them. Here's a couple of examples of emails we've gotten on life style websites from guys we never met (so these are introductions) where we have a profile: "Lets get together over presidents day weekend 2/18-20. Drinks, dinner... I can host at a hotel if you cant host at your home. You have some very sexy pictures and with us two guys I'm sure we can come up a few other options she might like. Lets make some videos to add to our collections too." ;"Chicken Shit, come swallow my enormous loads....I mean if you enjoy sucking a large thick COCK"; "Am available"; "Hey"; "Whats your cell number?". We have more normal conversations at greet and meets etc. but this type of aggressive approach has put us off.

  21. #96
    Swingers Board Guide SW_PA_Couple's Avatar
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    SW_PA_COUPLE

    Default Re: Rules for single males

    Quote Originally Posted by Twilighttap View Post
    ? . . . We have more normal conversations at greet and meets etc. but this type of aggressive approach has put us off.
    I suspect that very few of these men ever figure out the reason that they get very few replies.
    IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO LEARN TO PLOW BY READING BOOKS.
    ~Richard Linklater

  22. #97

    Default Re: Rules for single males

    So we continue to try to talk to males - maybe find a fun guy to join us. Had one we chatted with online through one of the swinger sites. We switched the conversation over to Kik. When talking to hubby as first point of contact, we got a story about how his couple friends moved away, he was looking for another couple, he was nice and respectful and pleasing the woman ws his first priority. When I took over the chats to get a feel for him, he immediately switched talk to how he wanted "to fill all my holes and do ass to mouth". When I didn't respond any more, he started begging for a response. He didn't understand his bad behavior or that the Kik messages stick around until you delete them - so ample opportunity to show hubby. Oh well.


  23. #98

    Default Re: Rules for single males

    I'm new here, but not to the lifestyle....and yes, some guys just don't get it. I think a lot of guys get creepy with their online "persona" figuring that's what others are into. I've found that the lifestyle breaks out roughly into two camps, those that are just into being on the sites and talking to people online only as a fantasy, and then those who are into actually moving things into the real world and having some fun.

    My favorites are definitely the latter.....

  24. #99
    Checking It Out Napoleon's Avatar
    Status
    Male with three women in a relationship with me.

    Default Re: Rules for single males

    I wish more women in a relationships understood that "no means no" when a single male says it the first time.

  25. #100

    Default Re: Rules for single males

    As far as references go, I don't believe I have heard anyone refer to the certifications on SLS. I'm sure many other sites have some type of similar functionality but SLS is what I am most familiar with. My wife Cheryl and I are pretty new to the lifestyle but have had some various playtimes. We are really not looking for a single male, but while browsing SLS recently I came across a SM profile that had somewhere in the high 40s of certs. I had to check this out. Well it was impressive the glowing reviews given by mostly the lady half of the couples. How polite, how good looking, friendly with the husband, and yes many many glowing comments about his skills in bed. I really like to see Cheryl have a good time and sensed an opportunity for her to experience something good. I have contacted him and we are now in the process of exchanging pictures. Don't know if anything will come of this or not, but because of his positive experience with these other couples and their reviews of him, we are willing to give him a chance.

    SLS certs are a valuable commodity in the LS.

    Dan

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