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  1. #1
    Swingers Board Guide SW_PA_Couple's Avatar
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    Default Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    There is presently a thread in the Swinging at Home and Houseparties forum that asks about sharing an overnight bed with somebody other than your spouse. My thought is that a person need not view himself or herself as being in an open marriage to do this.

    But how about people who would classify as an Open Marriage couple? Here's a question. Are you OK with your spouse or significant-other spending a night, or even multiple nights, with a swing acquaintance? Not a swap. While your spouse is out, you're left at your own devices to find your own diversions or fun. What do y'all think?


  2. #2

    Default re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    We are secure enough in our relationship that this would be ok for either of us to do. As long as we both know the people or person, it would be fun and part of our own good sexual experiences when we made love to each other.

  3. #3

    Default re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    My wife has spent the night with another man before while I was at home looking after the kids. She's only done it once and it was all good, we had a nice romantic lunch alone the next day where she told me all the details. I've never literally slept with another person, but we've both played alone a handful of times without the other doing anything sexual, but overnights, just been the one. I don't think I'd want it to be the norm, but it was exciting when it did happen!

  4. #4
    Swingers Board Addict angelkin's Avatar
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    Default re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    Not in our wheelhouse. To me, sleeping with someone is far more intimate than having sex.
    There's time for sleep when you're dead.

  5. #5

    Default re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    Quote Originally Posted by angelkin View Post
    Not in our wheelhouse. To me, sleeping with someone is far more intimate than having sex.

    Yep, our one hard core rule…

    You can spend as many hours over there as you want, but we SLEEP here…

    Together, anything goes.

    We have napped while at a couples house during a long night before, and on something like a weekend trip as two couples, well, yeah, it is pretty much is expected, but on a hall pass, no.

  6. #6

    Default re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    We've discussed this and it seems weird, but we thought that about many of our current activities. My wife tells me I snore like a freight train. May not be an endearing quality to someone who did not sign up to be my wife.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    We've never done it, and probably neither one of us would want to for various reasons (see snoring comment above ), but in the right situation with the right person, I guess I could see it being possible. It wouldn't be something we would be trying to initiate no matter what, but I'll stop short of saying 100% no and leave it at 99% no.
    Not all those who wander are lost

  8. #8

    Default Re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    Due to timing and kids, life's busy schedules we've set play dates separately with a couple we mainly play with and know and trust etc...Dinner, hanging out then some play time...then the next week or when convient the other couple plays...but we head home at the end of the evening. Not often or always but occasionally this works for us.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    I regularly have overnight visits with hotwives, in addition to weekend getaways, and vacations.
    Freedom of the Seas Takeover -11/11-18, 2012
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  10. #10

    Default Re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    I (Mr. CoupleInMD79) recently got my first "hall pass" from the Mrs., for a visit with a couple that we both really like and are close with. I did sleep over, in the other couple's bed. The Mrs. and I were fine with it, as we have slept swapped before on overnight visits with this couple.

    This is not something we would do with just anybody- we have reserved this kind of thing for our closest friends. I think you'd have to be pretty close with someone to be willing to "share" your snoring and morning breath with them! And the Mrs. and I make sure to give each other a Full Report afterwards on everything that happened, just to reinforce the fact that we're being completely open about what goes on.

    And to answer SW_PA_Couple's point, we do not consider ourselves to be in an open marriage. We considered these overnight stay occasions to be simply extended play sessions, with sleeping in between. No extra feelings are implied by this- just the close friendship and good comfort level that we hope to reach with all our swinger friends! We know some of our friends are not, and never will be, comfortable with this kind of thing, and that's fine with us. But for the very short list of friends where we're all comfortable with this, we feel like it makes us even better friends!

  11. #11

    Default Re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    We've played in separate rooms with a couple, and one night we tried sleeping with them. It was just kind of weird to wake up next to a different face. Not comfortable. We all agreed to not do it again. This was a long time ago, but can't imagine that this experience would change for us, and by extension, I doubt doing it on our own without our partner in the next room would improve it any.
    Fear is a symptom of ignorance. Knowledge is the cure.

  12. #12

    Default Re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    Mrs. Alura and I often hosted another couple overnight, at our house, but we always slept in our accustomed position, together. This was an extension of our having gotten back together at the end of the swap and made love.
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." óWill Rogers

    "Swingin' Down to Tulsa," a novel by the Aluras. Read a free sample Here

  13. #13

    Default Re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    We just tried it as an experiment, because we were curious how it would feel. I think that's why we've had good luck in the lifestyle, because we look at everything as an experiment, and agree ahead of time that we'd hold one another blameless for anything that didn't go as well as we hoped.
    Fear is a symptom of ignorance. Knowledge is the cure.

  14. #14

    Default Re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    Quote Originally Posted by angelkin View Post
    Not in our wheelhouse. To me, sleeping with someone is far more intimate than having sex.
    I agree that sleeping by someone's side and especially waking up by them is very intimate. If polyamory isn't your goal, don't wake up by your swinging crush's side.

  15. #15

    Default Re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    Well, I’ve got two answers.

    First, my ex and I got very close to another lifestyle couple. When we would travel together, my wife would stay in his room, his wife would stay with me. We enjoyed ourselves, the friendship was amazing, it brought us all closer, somehow. Probably this would be an offshoot of a polyamorist relationship.

    Secondly, I allowed my ex to have time with playmates while I was traveling. Sometimes they were gentlemen we knew from having MFM threesomes with them, a few times I didn’t know the other guy. I trusted my wife, understood that she was a very cautious person about her safety, didn’t mind that she was playing when I was out of town. Now, a few times she spent the night at the gentleman’s house. Since I wasn’t going to be there in the morning anyway, I didn’t particularly care — in fact, I remember encouraging her once because I knew how much she enjoyed that particular guy’s company, and figured morning sex would be a lot of fun.

    The idea of her spending the night with another guy while I was in town never came up. I’m not sure I would have been excited about that.

    As always, the lifestyle has many variations, lots of options. In my mind, if it works for you, don’t worry about it. And, of course, if either partner feels uncomfortable, don’t do it!

  16. #16

    Default Re: Overnight stays with lifestyle friend?

    My wife and I are in a poly relationship with our best friend so my wife often goes over to his house alone to play. My wife never stays the night with him even though it would be fine with me. We have talked about taking an overnight trip with him that would result in the three of us sharing a room. Since we also have threesomes with him, that could be a lot of fun and lead to a lot of sex, but we haven't set up anything yet.

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