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  1. #26

    Default re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    We used to play with a couple that had an open marriage. She had many boyfriends, and all those guys were in the position you're in. So it does happen. I imagine it's like the proverbial needle and haystack in terms of odds though.

    Would never work for us but the great thing about life is you get to live, for the most part, by your own rules.

    Boris
    Sex is like air. It's really not that important unless you aren't getting any.

  2. #27

    Default re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    I run with the polyamorous crew in Austin. The hubby's find girlfriends too.

    I must admit, I do miss the casual sex, especially of the naughtier type.

  3. #28

    Default re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    Some people prefer to call it a playmate, some a girlfriend, some whatever.
    My wife calls her favored guy a boyfriend, and it doesn't bother me.

    I called my preferred gal a playmate. Sadly mine is moving out of state soon so I'll need to find another.

    We've had the best luck with other couples who are open to separate play. My wife's boyfriend is a hubby, and while I've been with his wife, we dont play as frequently as my wife and her boyfriend do. We all text or talk with each other every few days or so, it's pretty cool actually.

    My current playmate is a divorcée who is currently single, which actually seems to be the common type of single female that I've encountered.

    As for finding a gal playmate, what I've done is just meeting people at events and going from there. And if you find one that "clicks" with you, maybe you will play more frequently and there you go.

  4. #29

    Default re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    My take on this is that if you are married and are going to swing, the two of you best do it together. As has been said before by others, your woman will have no problem finding guys who are interested, but my experience has taught me that women are far more likely to not show a keen interest in a married guy who is on the prowl.

    My ex wanted to go it alone and eventually that is how our marriage ended. She said it best, I think when she said,"if we can't find a playmate for you, what am I doing with you?"

  5. #30

    Default re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    I think it will be difficult to find.

    You are right, most single women will not go for this idea when you are married.

    The best option is to go for a married couple, which will help keep the both you more involved together, which is in my opinion a better option anyway.

  6. #31

    Default re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    If she's really concerned about the OP being "bored on Friday night" then why doesn't she offer to have a MFM with the new guy and the husband?

  7. #32

    Default re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    Me too. Sign me up

  8. #33
    Sunny...For Your Pleasure sunbuckus's Avatar
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    Couple - She posts 99.99% of the time

    Default re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    I know this is an old post but I've been curious about this b/f-g/f thing with couples. Our first play-couple are exploring this. The wife has a b/f but the husband is having a hard time finding a g/f. Does this really work or is it just asking for trouble?


  9. #34
    Swingers Board Addict shrevecouple's Avatar
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    Default re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    I am sure there is a rare few it does. But I have personally watched this go down the tubes! I think it adds too much emotional responsibility to others that are suppose to be NSA to begin with. My personal opinion.

  10. #35
    Better than Ice Cream two4youinswva's Avatar
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    Default re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    Quote Originally Posted by sunbuckus View Post
    The wife has a b/f but the husband is having a hard time finding a g/f.
    That would be the norm. Husbands that find a g/f quickly are the exception to the rule.
    I don't have time for dinner. Someone on the internet is wrong!

  11. #36
    Swingers Board Addict wisconsin's Avatar
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    female part of the couple

    Default re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    We have an open marriage and usually have long-term play mates.

    When I look for a potential BF I look for single man who is busy with his career and has his mind free from all family obligations and his wife needs. He values his time and wants meet on a regular basis to have good sex and wants to relieve stress of everyday life. He can host, has a nice house with ton of music and he lives close to me. He knows how to make a girl happy, he is reasonably cute and in a decent shape.Oh, and he needs to be able to play in a condom at least for a couple first times. Not many men can stay hard with condoms.

    I do have a lot of problems to find that perfect BF I want though. They are very rare species.

  12. #37

    Default re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    Chicup's post was pretty brutal but it is 99% true. I say 99% because out of 100 women, at lease one will be attracted to a man regardless of his money, looks and fame. Those are the ones who just find you "cool in some way" but apart from that, a married guy finding girls is pretty hard in most situations.

  13. #38

    Default re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    Quote Originally Posted by MeandShe View Post
    Chicup's post was pretty brutal but it is 99% true. I say 99% because out of 100 women, at lease one will be attracted to a man regardless of his money, looks and fame. Those are the ones who just find you "cool in some way" but apart from that, a married guy finding girls is pretty hard in most situations.
    Is that because we are considered "used goods"?

  14. #39

    Default Re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    I believe that the spouse/SO needs to help find the girl friend. It is easier for the female to find others that would be interested in this type of arrangement and discuss it openly (giving permission in a way) about having sex with their husbands/boyfriends. She needs to PIMP you out to these ladies and it will require some extra effort. If for some reason she is not willing to assist with finding yours, then you might want to question the real reasons for hers. She should be more than interested in helping if she wants to see you as happy as her (selflessness, giving, compersion, etc).

    You could go to the local Bars (Hotel Bars are even better) and find an undersexed married woman that needs a little action on the side. Just remember those are the cheaters and they tend to come with there own set of problems.

  15. #40
    Don't Forget to Smile!! kikonkrome's Avatar
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    kikonkrome

    Default Re: Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

    We have had success finding 'unicorns' who are in sexless marriages.

    Basically, they are horny and their husbands can't really perform so we fit the bill. We meet them together and play together, but I know a few women that would be interested in a one on one with me.

    They like that we are attached so that there is no 'deepening' of the relationship.
    'Don't Dream It, Be It' - Rocky Horror Picture Show

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