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Getting to no

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I notice that a lot of people on line say no to meeting. Age, attraction, they don’t swing, it could be a lot of things. But for people who want to have sex with others, do not see a lot of flexibility. Others find the same?

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We see a couple in our demographic on SLS. We say hello on line, open our pictures, look at their pictures. We think they are in our range in terms of looks and age. We ask if they want to have a vanilla meeting for drinks or a casual dinner. Most people say no, many people never respond, few say yes and actually make it to meeting.

 

I am just surprised that more people won’t meet.

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People are particular. As a single woman also on a vanilla site I run into plenty fakes, flakes, and freaks. Now add the four way match issue. I had a great phone conversation with the female half of a couple, planned to meet. Plumbing emergency day of on their part. I left the door open to reschedule, never heard back. Dry spells can be annoying. I will admit to being very particular myself on who I do plan to meet so that I tend to have a good success rate there.

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People say No? Are you surprised? You are lucky we have chased to many fakes. How many just want pictures? How many say they want to meet and then the wife gets sick but the husband is willing to meet alone. Don’t believe everyone you contact is the couple in the profile. Consider yourselves lucky they said no.

I would normally say if they sound too good be careful.

We were very surprised that we finally met a couple that we were sure were fake that looked better than their pictures. Then again pictures don’t tell the whole story.

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It is amazing how many fakes and flakes are on the sites now days. You have to learn to interpret the signs, took us a couple of years and still one may get by our better judgement from time to time.

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This is why we constantly advise not spending too much time with emails and texting and instead setting up a meeting. It weeds the fakes, flakes, and wannabes and you will learn more after meeting for 5 minutes than what you would lean in an eternity of emails and texts.

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We have had good luck with online meeting. When we start messaging we put our intentions out there and if we mesh we set a meet. For some unknown reason something ALWAYS comes up the first meet for us. Either on our or their end. However we, or they, are able to make the next meeting and we are able to see if there is that 4 way connection. I guess we have just been lucky.

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To some people the idea is enough to satisfy them. Just talking, or back and forth posting, is enough to fulfill their fantasies. Other people want to go beyond talk.

 

You need to decide for yourself how much time and effort you want to put into flirting with someone online that might not result in an actual encounter.

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"You need to decide for yourself how much time and effort you want to put into flirting with someone online that might not result in an actual encounter."

 

True. I once figured that of the people who sent us an initial email, we met about 6% in person. A very low percentage. But . . . because of the vetting we did in the emails (between 6 and 10 back and forth before we said 'let's meet') we played with 80-90% of the people we met in a bar.

 

Yeah, you gotta do the work. Yeah, for us it's worth it.

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