Keys to Writing Your Swingers Personal Ad Profile

Once you’ve figured out the few websites you plan to stick to you need to put some serious effort into writing a good profile. Keep in mind that posting a personal ad for yourself is the same as marketing any product. You are the product and you want to present yourself in the best light possible.

Some websites have very detailed questions in an effort to get you to provide as much information for those who may be seeking you as possible. Others just give you a few boxes to fill out and it’s then up to you how much information you actually provide. As you start searching the sites you will get an idea of what you want to see in an ad, and how much information you expect from others. You should provide the same amount of information in your ad that you expect from others. Try to fill in the answers to all of the questions that are asked as you fill out the profile. Here are some basic things you will see on pretty much every profile/ad submission form.

Location: One of the first questions you will be asked when you begin filling out your profile is your location. Most websites now use zip codes in order to provide accurate distances between users. If you live in a very small town and are worried about others seeing you, then you may want to provide the zip code of the next large city near you where you are willing to travel in order to meet others. If you are not willing to leave your hometown, then do not put a different zip code.

Pictures: The first thing someone is going to see before they even open your profile is your picture. So choose a good, clear picture that accurately represents BOTH of you. If you don’t have a picture of both of you together, then make sure you post separate pictures of each of you. However, a picture of both of you is always preferred as it is a better way to distinguish that you are in fact a couple. Your photo does not have to show your face, and it should show more than just your genitals. The most commonly preferred type of picture is a full body clothed picture that does not show or in some way masks the faces.

These days most everyone has a digital camera, and if you don’t have a digital camera, you can take your regular film to the local drugstore and have your pictures put on a CD so that you can use them online. It is much better to do this than to scan printed images for use online. When you scan a printed image it loses quality and becomes grainy, making it look old and distorted. When people viewing your profile see these images, they automatically assume the picture is 10 years old, even if you really just took it yesterday.

The pictures you choose to post in your profile should be tasteful, they don’t have to be nude, but they should give an accurate representation of what your entire body looks like. We want to see more than just your head, your boobs, your ass, your crotch, etc. You can add those other pictures later, but your main picture should be a full body picture of both of you (clothed or not is your choice), from at least the waist up.

Description: Describing ourselves if often one of the hardest things we have to do. Many couples find it easiest to describe each other. Write the ad together and let the female half describe the male and vice-versa. When describing yourselves do not use relative terms. Keep in mind that “attractive” to one is not attractive to another; provide detailed descriptors such as height, weight, hair color, bra size, etc.

Describe the activities that you enjoy and be honest. If the last time you went hiking was two years ago, you probably shouldn’t list hiking as a favorite activity. Describe your preferences in what you seek as well. If you are not open to smokers, then state that plainly in your profile.

Be sure to include reasonable information about your outside interests. While you may not be looking to make lifelong friends with other swingers, it is helpful to know if you have anything in common. How do you spend your free time? What types of books, movies or television shows do you enjoy? Do you have children? Keep in mind you do not want to share personal information about your children, but it is helpful for others to know if you have children as it helps to know what to expect when it comes to trying to plan meetings. As with all polite society, it is best to avoid the discussion of politics and religion.

Describe your experience level. If you are newbies seeking your first experience then say so. If you’ve had one experience feel free to share it (just leave out the details of who you played with). If it was many years ago share that as well. This is the type of information that will help others know if you are a good match for them and vice-versa.

Who/What you are seeking: Don’t limit yourselves too much in what you are not willing to experience, or who you are not willing to meet. The most common example of this is limiting the age of those you are willing to meet. Quite often younger couples may be much more mature than you might expect. And often, older couples may look and act much younger than you could expect based on their age. Keep your options open and you may find that you get to enjoy many more great times swinging. Also, unless there is just no way that you will participate in an activity or you have a dead set rule against it, there is really no reason to list that you will not do it in your profile.

Focus on the positives. Rather than spending a large portion of your profile on what you don’t want, focus on what and who you do want to experience and enjoy. No one wants to be surrounded by negativity and if you come off as negative in your profile people will assume you are a negative person in general.

Grammar and punctuation are important. You don’t need to be an English major but you should at least make an attempt to show that you care about how you are communicating with others. Do not use “text speak”, type everything in lowercase or uppercase, or completely forget to use any punctuation. If you make your profile hard to read people won’t read it and will just pass you by. It may help to type your answers to the profile questions into a word processing program and allow it to check your spelling and grammar before you copy the text back into boxes on the ad site.

Keep in mind that you can always change your ad and it’s never final. Take some time and look through the profiles of others and find those that you enjoy. Think about what it was in that profile that made you like it and how you can apply it to your own. Of course, you don’t want to just copy and paste and what you apply to your own ad should still be a true reflection of whom you are and who you are looking for. Not only can you change your ad, but you should. Be sure to keep your ad updated to reflect the current you and what you are currently looking for. This means not only updating the photos regularly, but also updating the text to reflect changes in your experience, what you may be interested in, and who you may be interested in meeting.

This article is an excerpt from the book The Swinger Manual by JustAskJulie

Wonderful excerpt!

Anybody who is going to compose an on-line profile should have this advice at their elbow. Every word is true.

"Grammar and punctuation are important." Words are powerful. Their care and use often mirror how couples care for each other and their playmates.

Powerful advice! We are not interested in those who cannot Capitalize, spell check and who write three incomplete sentences. Pictures matter, age limitations are often too restricted.

Great advice on being positive, it's a real downer to read profiles with all sorts of rules and warnings. In sales we try to under promise and over deliver and I think it also works in the lifestyle. It's always a pleasant surprise to meet a couple that is better than their pics or profile describe.