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Virtual Swinging (i.e. webcam, skype, etc.)

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Question for the general populace....

 

Does anyone use webchat/skype/facetime etc. as a way to either do a get to know you or next step after initial ciontact with another couple?

 

We kind of thought it would be a good way to maybe have a 'meet and greet' with other potential couples that would allow them to determine if there is something that would warrant taking the next step, such as a real life meet and greet. It seems a little better than email where you can't necessarily determine how to take a statement that is typed.

 

Are there major pitfalls to doing a webchat? We would think this would give each couple a chance to see if the couple matches the pictures in their profile (as we all know that camera angles can work wonders) with a very easy out if the connection was not there. This would be a lot less awkward than say meeting for dinner or drinks and then finding easy exit from the situation if it didn't go well.

 

On a related note, is there a danger of having a session recorded without the other party's knowledge? I mean I am sure there is a way for this to happen if someone wanted to work hard enough to do so, but the easy rule of thumb would be don't do anything on camera that you wouldn't want your grandma to find out about.:blush:

 

We know that meeting at a club is also a good way to be on neutral ground, but what if (as we are)a couple isn't really in to the club scene?

 

Just like to get other folks take on this.

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We have never bothered, it's just not our thing. We'd rather go out and meet in person. There are great clubs, events and meet and greets in our area so that is much more fun for us.

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We chat on Kik with couples before metting, never thought about doing anything with a cam. I don't think it would really help anything at all though. A lot of times just chatting with the other couple gets us turned on and we end up doing stuff with each other while chatting, so not sure how well that would work if we were on cam with someone. Also, we are not necessarily at our best looking while chatting. If we were going to chat on a webcam, she'd have to put her face on, I might need to trim my beard a little, so on and so forth. If we are gonna go to that trouble, we may as well just go out.

 

I think the big thing is getting over the awkwardness of meeting in person. Yeah, if you meet up it can be a little awkward at first to just say, sorry, I don't think we are interested, but that's the way it goes. Personally, if a couple told us that, I'd be totally ok and my wife and I would continue to have a great date night by ourselves. The other couple probably would too. Also, often that chemistry is both ways. If you are not feeling it for them, they are likely not feeling it with you and are also feeling awkward about telling you. Just get it out and over with and realize that is not an awkward situation at all. It's totally normal.

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Since we are in the same general area fun couple, we agree there are plenty of 'live' events to attend. However, the challenge for u is the issue of family (i.e. kids) and work make it hard to attend. Our vanilla type activities generally don't die down until 9:00 pm on a daily basis during the week, and weekends are challenging at best because we are picking up the slack for things that were sidelined during the week.

Oh for an empty nest. :rollseye:

 

And you do make a good point SA, especially about the not feeling it being both ways. We have had that a few times.

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I feel you on the schedule thing. Weeknights we can't really do much either and weekends tend to be packed. You just have to pick one that you want to go to and tell your family and friends you guys just need a weekend alone together, find a family member to dump the kids on and you should be golden. That's what we try to do and it has worked for us so far.

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Kids are actually another reason we don't cam. Once they go to bed at nine we are done for the day. It would be hard for me to switch gears and get into a meeting/flirting frame of with them upstairs.

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We played a couple of times in front of the camera while guys were watching us. It was just for fun, we didn't meet with them after.

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We never had much luck and have honestly just gone back to meeting people in person. We have a difficult time skyping each other when I am out of town.

 

Normally it's just kik or text then meet in person.

 

It may be interesting with some kind of virtual reality.

 

I think there is nothing that really beats an in person experience. I do a lot of business meetings via skype and you still need to meet in person just to touch base.

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In my fifteen-years-Los micro tower computer is a fairly inexpensive video editing software that has a feature for capturing anything that appears on my monitor. If this simple software can do it, I fear that more sophisticated software exits that could make my wife and me into world-famous amateur porn stars without our knowledge.

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SW_PA, that is true. And definitely something we do not want either (being self-depricating, and maybe most other people don't want to see either). However, this becomes the classic 'chicken or egg' question in the prurient world. Why did you do that? Well, why did you watch it? HaHa.

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In my fifteen-years-Los micro tower computer is a fairly inexpensive video editing software that has a feature for capturing anything that appears on my monitor. If this simple software can do it, I fear that more sophisticated software exits that could make my wife and me into world-famous amateur porn stars without our knowledge.

 

brb... I need to start looking for the software that will turn my wife and myself into world-famous amateur porn stars...been trying to think of a second career :lol:

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Have done strictly chat before. Honestly, if your mind is into it, it's very exciting. Much like reading erotic stories, but being involved and watching it unfold. Just knowing the age, who's involved, and a picture was enough. Harmless role play fun and everyone has a good time.

 

I know of only 2 websites like that, but they appear to be down now. I guess not many people are into it that way. For most, it's either cam or meet.

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What with meetups and playdates on hold during quarantine, we've found ourselves meeting and chatting with a new couple using the video chat services.

 

Up to this point, it's been very similar to a 'first meet' over drinks: introductions, fun conversation, and discussion and negotiation of interests and expectations.  We're setting-up an online playdate for this coming weekend -- and we have no clue how this works!

 

We've seen the Omegle- and Chaturbate-type websites, but those are anonymous and often have a paying component to them -- and that's not what we're interested in.

 

What we're interested in is the best we can do via video with our partners and the other couple.  Sure it's soft-swap, but it's the best we can do at the moment.  But as we said, above, we have no clue how to do this.  Does anyone have suggestions for remote activities?  How do you get started when there's no casual touching-while-flirting before play?  Has anyone done this successfully? Is it even possible?

 

So... this is probably happening this weekend -- most likely Friday.  We'd love to have some feedback before then so we don't go into this completely blind.

 

Thanks!

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Please keep updating this information. The virus-catalyzed transformation of swinging has only started to be explored. We are curious to know how the social distancing restriction changed the dynamic of getting to that first (virtual) date, and further whether physical distance between where you live had a role in your decision to choose 'this' couple among the tens of thousands out there. The lifestyle is going to be transformed, along with all of the other industries (clubs, cruise, clothes,websites...) that support it. 

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3 minutes ago, Fundamental Law said:

We are curious to know … whether physical distance between where you live had a role in your decision to choose 'this' couple among the tens of thousands out there.

The easy answer is that we made initial contact on SLS *just before* everything went into lockdown.  What with family being cooped-up with us, it's been difficult to schedule regular chat / introductory sessions with all four of us.  It's taken a few weeks to schedule a first 'introduction' video chat, but we finally had that 'first meet' this past weekend.  They're a lovely couple, and it went about as well as an awkward first meet over drinks in a noisy bar. 

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1 minute ago, SJBluebirds said:

 They're a lovely couple, and it went about as well as an awkward first meet over drinks in a noisy bar. 

 SJB, thanks so much for your prompt reply.

 

Your remark about drinks in a noisy bar is well taken. In the medical world, telehealth is advantaged by undivided attention, and disadvantaged by the loss of 3/5 senses--touch, smell, and taste. As you remarked in your first post, touch is part of "the dance". In the medical world, it is also part of the evaluation, and we have had to learn "workarounds". In the LS, those three senses have been quite important. We will be interested to hear how you (plural==2+2) adapt and find workarounds. 

 

Life -- and the lifestyle-- was a lot simpler four months ago. 

 

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2 hours ago, Fundamental Law said:

 

 

 

Life -- and the lifestyle-- was a lot simpler four months ago. 

 

You are absolutely right!

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We tried webcam sex a long time ago and regardless of the platform...it wasn't that rewarding and once I get involved I can't pay attention to anything else. I have done it one way for my husband a few times and set up my IPad so he could watch me in a hotel room when I have picked up a guy on travel. Recently as a diversion and trying something new, I masturbated under my desk while working from home on a video conference call (Microsoft Teams). I got off and restrained myself. Our girlfriend who was also on the call said that she knew I was having an orgasm, and I am guessing that it was just because she knows me.

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I tried this long ago with others in the family when I was alone traveling for business, but it wasn't that great.  The mutual masturbation thing was a real dud.  Watching hubby and Lora get it on was pretty nice, but then I shut off the screen and finished myself with what was in my mind.

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On 2/16/2017 at 8:25 PM, SW_PA_Couple said:

In my fifteen-years-Los micro tower computer is a fairly inexpensive video editing software that has a feature for capturing anything that appears on my monitor. If this simple software can do it, I fear that more sophisticated software exits that could make my wife and me into world-famous amateur porn stars without our knowledge.

This has been an ongoing problem for at least 20 years.   We don't share any intimate photos or videos with anyone now, and even before only for people we knew VERY WELL.  These days with video conferencing solutions like Zoom and others with easy recording capabilities the problem is even more widespread.  It's trivial to record and upload without consent.  If you really don't care about the world seeing your most intimate moments then this is not an issue, but for most of us, it is.  The Singapore broadcaster CNA came out with an interesting documentary on this recently:

 

 

It's well worth a view.   It should be noted that the threats don't always come from those you are sharing the video with, but hackers would can gain access into their computers.   Best to be safe.

 

C&T

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