So, this happened and I wanted to get some folks take on it...
A couple weeks before Christmas I got the nerve up to message a lady whose online profile I'd read, who seemed to be someone we might like to meet. She was nice, enthusiastic and encouraged me to message her husband. So I did. We chatted a bit. They seemed relatively new and their number one thing, which they said a lot, was that they wanted to be friends first... maybe meet for dinner and get to know each other before any playing. I was fine with that, and put on the brakes, respected their pace and all. The husband and I chatted online a couple of times, and we seemed to have a fair bit in common - similar hobbies, liked a lot of the same movies, etc. I didn't really manage to chat with the wife much... she just didn't say much and her husband, who was included in the chat, did most of the talking. He kept saying that she really like me, but that she was shy.
So, a few days go by and the husband is all gung ho about we really need to meet. I say I'd love to, but with family it's a difficult thing to schedule at at the best of times and with the holidays coming up (it was now a week or so before Christmas) I just didn't think we could do it soon. Probably after the holidays, I said. Meanwhile, the a host of increasingly explicit pictures of the wife keep getting posted on her profile (at one point the husband says he has posted them). Finally, the husband and my wife manage to chat (she was busy and didn't have time)... she said he came on very strong, which turned her off.
At this point, I'm starting to wonder - so I message the husband and tell him that I'm feeling some mixed signals. He'd started with "let's be friends first" and by this point he's asking me if it would be alright for his wife and I to go to our local swingers club together while he stays at our house with my wife. (We still have not met in person yet). He apologizes, says "things change." I say, well let's meet for dinner after the holidays.
A few days later, he's "unfriended" me and blocked my profile.
I really don't feel bad about that, as I'd been seriously considering doing that to him anyway... but still. I just don't think I've got the hang of this.