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  1. #1

    Default Things not to do in a picture

    Ok, I just pulled up SLS and of course the first page is the listing of random ads near you or something like that and some of the pictures that went with those ads just got me thinking so I had to come and post this.

    Why is it that when people post pics with their ads they pick the post awful pictures? I mean, do they not look at them?

    Just on those 10 matched ads, here's what I saw....

    Webcam shots of a couple that looked completely pissed off.... or in the case of the guy made him look like someone you don't want to piss off.

    A picture of a woman lying on her back in water... the picture chopped her head off (which is ok, I understand why people do that), but the bad part was that since she had rather large breasts and the pic was taken at an angle, it looked like one was fake and floating on top of the water while the other was real...flat and sinking.

    One woman evidently felt that all she had to show off was her cleavage, because that is is ALL you can see in a picture of her wearing a black dress... make that 3 pictures of her.

    Perhaps we need to put together some tips for how to take pics for an ad, maybe. So what things have you seen (besides the obvious crotch shots), that make you wonder why these people opted to use THAT shot?


  2. #2

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    I've seen quite a few pictures, in which I've wondered just the same. Out of curiosity, I visited our ad site and pulled up a few pics of those closest to us. Leaving out the 'crotch shots', most were pretty okay, however there was one in which the gal looked seriously deformed. The camera angle was just all wrong and it looked as though she had the waist of a toothpick and the extremities of a whale. Another photo projected what she normally would most like look like...so why use the other? Just to fill the slots on the front page?

    I've seen photos where the people may be happy and smiling but their surroundings are littered with garbage and dirty clothing, pictures where there are pictures of their loved ones surrounding them (usually by the mantle) and some that didn't look like they bothered to comb their hair this month, much less brush their teeth. Surrender

    I think some of it may just be the eagerness to have a photo up so that they may get more attention, for the rest, just plain old ignorance.
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  3. #3

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    I'm glad I'm not the only person who's noticed that! When we were on one of the other swingers websites, my ex- and I paid as much attention to the composition of the picture and what was in the background, etc., as we did to their actual appearance. Probably more, in fact. It's a habit I continue to this day on the "vanilla" dating website to which I belong.

    Things that usually caught our eye, and not in a good way;

    1) Cum shots - facial or otherwise. Interesting? Marginally. Sexy or erotic? Hardly, especially for most women. Make us feel inclined to contact them? Never. Guys holding their dicks combined with the above? One word...pathetic.

    2) Open crotch - Not as big of a turn-on as they probably expect. Vagina's are kind of weird...I never saw an ugly one on a woman I liked, and never saw a pretty one on a woman I didn't. She felt the same way . Maybe fun to look at if you're a 13 year old boy and wondering "just what the hell IS up there," but having participated in the birth of all 3 of my kids, it's a degree of detail neither of us needed to know about somebody before we went to bed with them.

    3) Trash and clutter in the background - That just screams "we have NO class whatsoever" to people. Even after 30+ years of "doin' it," sex is still kinda special. If you can't take a little time to prepare a place for it, maybe it's not so "special" for you. If you think a picture of a full clothes hamper, full ashtrays, and everything that you're collecting for your forthcoming yard sale is sexy, I guess we're not your type.

    4) Pictures of vehicles. JUST vehicles. - I understand the reasoning behind including things you find of interest in your pics. We certainly did...both cars and bikes, because those were other activities we enjoyed. But WE were in the pics too. For some reason, (and it seems that single guy-trolls were the worst offenders) we'd get pics of their weiner, followed by a pic of their brand new, fully-chromed, Hardley-Dallysome Electro-Spasm Glide sitting in a driveway somewhere. I guess we were supposed to be so turned on by their bike we'd overlook their obvious physical "shortcomings" Thank God for the "delete" key...

  4. #4

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    LOL, our favorite is the listing with 6-8 pics of the guy in every pose possible and the ONE shot of the wife getting in or out of the shower or walking down the hall, or some other pics where she OBVIOUSLY had no idea hubby was going to post it on a swingers site! Of course this guy always wants to swing alone because wife doesn't feel good that night! LOL

    We also like theones where the people look drunk.... NOT! But we must admit they are entertaining, all of them.

  5. #5

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    It's kind of ironic. Wife and I were just looking at some pics on SLS yesterday and I couldn't help but comment on all the trash and garbage that people took pictures of. Maybe there would be a long legged lady struting around in a pair of somewhat "unsexy" panties, but what really caught our attention were the mountain dew cans in the floor and the computer sitting on top of a cardboard box. Oh yeah and let's not forget the dirty clothes mixed up with the mountain dew cans.

    We certainly aren't professional photographers by any means, but I certainly don't want to show the rest of the world our dirty laundry.

    Just curious, what do you folks think make good photo layouts for sites like SLS and others.

  6. #6

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    I cant figure out why alot of couples only ever post pics of the woman. "Um Hello you're a couple right?" What happened to the male half.. You know some of us want to see what the male looks like too..
    I saw this on pic of a women the other night that was a diffenet turn off. She looked as though shes on crack or hasnt slept in 10 yrs... The ad said she was 23 but I swear she looked 80.....
    Gotta love the 12 shots of the guys peinse to from every angle possible.. usually the guys taking them him self.. I guess this is suppsoe to make him feel better about his size
    Blessed Be!

  7. #7

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    I just did a quick peek of the SLS ads in my area and have come up with a few things that I personally don't like (aside from the obvious no nos):

    1) Pictures cut out into weird shapes. It just looks funny. Especially, when the image is on a white backbround while the actual site has a grey background.

    2) Pictures that are of such poor quality that you can't make anything out in them. Why bother?
    I feel that a woman doesn't have to be called 'Ms.' in order to be a woman of her own making. I believe 'Miss' allows moi to be a woman, and my karate can get me anything else

  8. #8

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    1 - Crotch shots.

    2 - Sex shots.

    3 - Only pictures of ONE of the couple. If its all the women you know the guy is most likely hideous, and if its only the guy you KNOW the wife is not attractive or he is a cheater.

    4 - The same shot from slightly different angles.

    5 - Their motorcycle/Car. To me this says 'low class'.

    6 - Wedding pictures. This is 2004, digital pictures are easy, take a new one.

    7 - Web cam shots, almost no one looks good hunched over the computer for a web cam shot. See #6

  9. #9

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    Fluffy toys. We once chatted to this couple where the (not so innocent) pictures of the girl included 10+ teddy bears. Somehow that wasn't the most sensual image I've ever encountered.

    The rest are covered in the various posts above...


  10. #10

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    Most of the bad things are covered in the previous post but one pet peeve I have is when there are multiple pics and none of them look like the same person. Now, different angles, lighting, perspective, hair styles, etc. can sometimes make a person look totally different but when it is obvious there is much poundage and possibly years involved in the differences, which one is the correct one???

    oh yeah, when the only shot is cleavage or genitalia, you can pretty much be guaranteed you don't want to see "the rest of the story".
    Why is it we can pleasure ourselves but not tickle ourselves?

  11. #11

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    Quote Originally Posted by hfire269
    I cant figure out why alot of couples only ever post pics of the woman. "Um Hello you're a couple right?" What happened to the male half.. You know some of us want to see what the male looks like too..
    I saw this on pic of a women the other night that was a diffenet turn off. She looked as though shes on crack or hasnt slept in 10 yrs... The ad said she was 23 but I swear she looked 80.....
    Gotta love the 12 shots of the guys peinse to from every angle possible.. usually the guys taking them him self.. I guess this is suppsoe to make him feel better about his size
    We LOVE taking pics!!!..So..our profiles always have lots of high quality pics..of the both of us..but most of her..Cuz i'm just too damn ugly..camera freezes up everytime i get my pic taken!!!

    Seriously though there are a good number of pics of me too...but we know one couple that has about 80 pics on swappernet and say in the profile how they hate couples who only post pics of the female....well out of 80 pics they have2 of him.... one of his face and one of his dick..and the face pic is like 10 yrs old...we know this cuz we know them personally!!!!..

    And the unsexy undies,messy backgrounds,fuzzy webcam pics,or just plain horrible shots!!!! OMG!!!!..i cant beleive what people will post!!!!!
    Mr B
    facelick

  12. #12

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    We would have to agreee with the majority of the comments made so far...

    One of our worst pet peeves is clutter in the background!

    Typically, we're not as offended by pics of just the female, probably because we are guilty of the same thing (at least in our public pics, our private pics are a d. :-/ We'll change that one soon though.... It really hasn't been our intent, more so than an indicator of who is usually behind the camera.

  13. #13

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    Quote Originally Posted by OhioCouple
    I
    I've seen photos where the people may be happy and smiling but their surroundings are littered with garbage and dirty clothing, pictures where there are pictures of their loved ones surrounding them (usually by the mantle)
    Dito

    When we receive messages from people on add sites, we always pay close attention to the background in the pics. We can't help but bypass couples because their homes look trashy or because they're standing in front of their trailers with beer cans littering the ground.
    Ves

    The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral.

  14. #14

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    Something to keep in mind regarding the "no pics of the guy" comments.

    It's well documented that men are the more visually aroused of the sexes, while women tend to be drawn more to personalities. It follows then, that profile pics would tend to favor the female, while the textual description (which reveals personality) would more likely be written by the man. That also explains why a couple is likely to possess more pics of the woman than of the man...because he's the one who's interested in pics, not her.

    All you have to do to prove this is to look at the magazine rack at the local bookstore. How many are dedicated to the female body? Literally dozens. How many to the male? A few, perhaps. Playgirl, and...??? Women are drawn to beautiful words, while men are drawn to beautiful bodies.

    It's how guys like me get laid.

    There are other reasons why a male may not post pics. In our case, I was the primary breadwinner. At the time, I was probably making 5X what my wife was, and carrying the health insurance. It made no sense to jeopardize all that just to catch the eye of another couple. Besides, we never went to bed with anybody until after they'd seen me in person. I'd hate to think I was responsible for too many women having to "take a bullet" for their husbands benefit.

    True, an ugly man is more likely to have a beautiful wife, than an ugly woman is to have a beautiful husband, but that's more a reflection of how wealth is distributed in our society, especially among people over 50. I suppose that's not much consolation to an attractive couple who's meeting what they think is going to be another attractive couple, but find that she's the only one with any looks, while he's the one with the Mercedes.

  15. #15

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    We are guilty of having more pics of myself on our SLS ad, too. That is our default pic over there <<<<<<
    Sometimes I think it looks like my legs end at my knees, though. We have 4 "sexy" pics of me and one normal clothed pic of him in the first 5 pics that can be seen by anyone. Although we don't show our full faces in those first 5 pics, we're pretty sure that anyone who knows us would probably recognize us anyway. Paid members can see a pic of both of us that shows our faces. We don't really have many good pics of both of us, but we were able to get that pretty decent one by using the timer on the camera.

    I wish I could get more good pics of my hubby, but I just have more fun in front of the camera. I love his body, but in general I don't think there are many sexy "poses" for guys. I did take a really great pic of him the other day, just a really cute and casual pic of him with our dog. I don't think it's really the right kind of pic for SLS, though.

    ~Kat

  16. #16

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    Quote Originally Posted by NaughtyKatt
    I did take a really great pic of him the other day, just a really cute and casual pic of him with our dog. I don't think it's really the right kind of pic for SLS, though.
    I think that type of picture is the perfect kind to include on your online add.
    Ves

    The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral.

  17. #17

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    Quote Originally Posted by JnCC
    Something to keep in mind regarding the "no pics of the guy" comments.

    It's well documented that men are the more visually aroused of the sexes, while women tend to be drawn more to personalities. It follows then, that profile pics would tend to favor the female, while the textual description (which reveals personality) would more likely be written by the man. That also explains why a couple is likely to possess more pics of the woman than of the man...because he's the one who's interested in pics, not her.

    All you have to do to prove this is to look at the magazine rack at the local bookstore. How many are dedicated to the female body? Literally dozens. How many to the male? A few, perhaps. Playgirl, and...??? Women are drawn to beautiful words, while men are drawn to beautiful bodies.

    It's how guys like me get laid.

    There are other reasons why a male may not post pics. In our case, I was the primary breadwinner. At the time, I was probably making 5X what my wife was, and carrying the health insurance. It made no sense to jeopardize all that just to catch the eye of another couple. Besides, we never went to bed with anybody until after they'd seen me in person. I'd hate to think I was responsible for too many women having to "take a bullet" for their husbands benefit.

    True, an ugly man is more likely to have a beautiful wife, than an ugly woman is to have a beautiful husband, but that's more a reflection of how wealth is distributed in our society, especially among people over 50. I suppose that's not much consolation to an attractive couple who's meeting what they think is going to be another attractive couple, but find that she's the only one with any looks, while he's the one with the Mercedes.
    In most swinging situations, its not going to be beautiful words that starts things going.

    The bread winner thing does have merit, and I've thought the same myself, but thats where blocked out face pictures come in handy, so at least the other couple has SOME idea of what they are getting into.


  18. #18

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    i agree with just about everything...the crotch shots are pretty what desperate dont get me wrong ill look..cuz yes us men are way more visual in most cases then our women...but still i like to get to know the person first..and rather see a face...and if you happen to get to the "R" pics later so be it but not right away ya know...

  19. #19

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    Very interesting thread. As I have lots of experience in photography we definitely wanted to have "classy" shots. However, we love sex and have included a couple of all the types. We've taken some off and put others on. We warn people that we have some pretty explicit ones and if they are squimish then we'd just send one each with a mail reply. We've been told that we have the best photos on the site.

    Can't please everyone so you have to please yourself.

    Where have I heard that before? facelick

    Male D
    "Just nod if you can hear me..."

    David Gilmour

  20. #20

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    Quote Originally Posted by DBL D

    Can't please everyone so you have to please yourself.

    Where have I heard that before? facelick

    Male D
    And if you put up pics that are pleasing to you, they will be pleasing to people that think like you do!! And, isn't that who you'e trying to find/attract?
    Why is it we can pleasure ourselves but not tickle ourselves?

  21. #21

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    Hey curiousagain,

    To some degree you are right. We have met and become interested in couples that don't post that many photos or have real sexy ones, per se. The point is that they aren't scared away by them. They understand. And then we can understand each other better and jump past a hurdle.

    We did meet a couple once and the lady had not seen all of our photos. Now that was a surprise. We do expect that each party will view all of them at least once. Otherwise, What's the point?

    Male D
    "Just nod if you can hear me..."

    David Gilmour

  22. #22

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    I have went to meet and greets without exchanging pics. I had become that interested in someone or a couple just by emails a/o IM a/o phone conversation. I would rather do that, than have someone or a couple send some great pics then when you meet them in person realize the pics were many years and pounds ago and/or may have been the one time they cleaned up

    I know I only have the one pic up on my ad right now, but I am sort of taking a break until after the holidays, only meeting with people I already know and concentrating more on dating. I hope to make some new pics before I start back up so to speak.
    Why is it we can pleasure ourselves but not tickle ourselves?

  23. #23

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    That's a really good pic, NaughtyKatt. As we are still in the discussion stage of our exploration, we have not taken any pics to post on a site yet and being that we have a really active sex life right now between the two of us, there's no need to take pics (ummm, we see it in living color all the time) However, most of the things mentioned above are common sense. Obviously you want to put your best foot forward when trying to attract playmates. I have given some though to pics and because I am pretty decent with a camera, I don't think it will be a problem for us. Thinking about some nice outdoor pics out on the ranch. But its really revealing to see some of them and learn what kind of people are putting out ads. I would say I am disappointed, but then it narrows the competition. If you post superior photos with a concise, well thought out description, well, you will likely get tons of responses, but you will have your pick. Looks are a big thing, but then again, you are looking for sex and not a significant other, hence, cleanliness and style carries a little more weight in the selection process.

  24. #24

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    My huge pet peeve is kids in the pictures
    A couple in our area made a picture of his wife, son and him PUBLIC
    I so wanted to email them and ask them what in the world were they thinking? But at the same time did not want to draw them towards us...too new and too close to home.
    Someone gave them a clue though...it is gone.
    All our pics are pretty g-rated....IMHO everyone knows what the private parts look like..a little bigger a little smaller a little hairy a little smooth... but the basics are there on all couples...
    I also hate to look at pics where there is trash and dirt everywhere...I am not Mrs. Clean but I do not need a shovel to travel to room to room :rollseyes Makes one wonder how clean they keep themselves.
    The pics of couples on bikes etc do not bother us because we have a connection there...a bike/car by itself..don't do a thing.

    Mrs. Midnight
    "Your mind is your only box, and only you hold the key to the locks."

  25. #25

    Default re: Things not to do in a picture

    Okay! Now i'm a bit nervous. Somebody check out my ad at Adult Friend Finders. Please. I only have 2 photos. i don t really like eigther one. I really do not photograph well ever, let alone during sex. Tell me how to fix this.
    Hawkshunny at adult friend finders.
    :kissface: vividpleasures


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