Do you keep your "swinging" friends separate from your "social" friends?

To start things off I should explain we are in the early stages of this, and haven't swung yet. We are married couple in out 50's.

Gwen and I were discussing the people we know socially, and if we thought any of them were swingers.We don't think they are

but you never know unless you ask...

We both feel that most the other couples we socialize with we don't think we would swing with....they are very nice

people but we both feel it would be best to keep our current friends separate from our (possible) swinger

friends...

Not sure if I explained what we're trying to say......I guess if you ran into them at a swingers club or home party

then you would cross that bridge when you got to it.

Happy New Year's !

I highly recomend NOT swinging with friends unless of course you don't mind loseing tham as friends and them letting all your other friends that you are a swinger.

We used to bring our friends in and it worked well for us at that time, but we were young, early 20's and we didn't know ny better at that time. I have to say that we did lose some friends.

Now with all the resources we have litterly at our finger tips there is no reason to go that route.

It can be fun playing the would they are they game, we even do it when we are out for any reason.

K

Some swing with friends, and some are successful with it.

We have always preferred to swing with swingers, and keep the vanilla friends vanilla.

If you do end up swinging, and you find it to your liking, you'll probably end up making friends out of swingers.

Now we know what the term "vanilla friends" mean.

At this point we will not broach the subject with them.

As usual we're just curious how others handle it..

While I wouldn't advise trying to swing with friends, our best friends were the ones who introduced us to swinging. That was in 1986, and even though they divorced later, we are still close friends with both and still play with with him. So that is one time swinging with friends actually brought us closer together.

And you mentioned about running into friends at a club? Well, that's a whole different story. The one couple that swapping with didn't affect a prior friendship were ones that we 'outed' each other through vanilla conversation. We were discussing something very vanilla when a guy's name was mentioned. This guy was one that we'd (both couples) had enjoyed sexually and we all knew, instantly, that the only way we'd know him was that way!

Honestly, it was embarrassing for about one second and then we all four began laughing. I think the only reason we didn't have sex right then was that we all needed to digest the whole thing and talk, privately, with our spouses.

But the next time we were together we did begin the fun stuff!

The majority of our friends dont know we are swingers, most of them we can tell that they see it as either degrading, immoral, or too dirty. Its very rare we swing with friends, we have to have a very good trust between us as many of them in some round-about way know our family who havnt got a clue that we swing.

We like to meet new people who we find attractive for sexual relations. So friends are kind of a no go.

A year ago we introduced his work colleague into our relationship. They had been working together for a year, in that time they got talking more about their personal lives, found out that they were both quite dirty minded. Paul bragged to Tom how amazing he is in bed according to the women he had been with, Tom didnt believe him so he introduced him to Hayley and have since been seeing each other on a weekly basis so we kind of stopped meeting new people.

Paul was purely a work colleague of Tom's until we introduced him into our relationship so now he's a friend, he's been out with us with our social friends and he knows not to say anything about our arrangement.

I don't believe that swinging with friends necessarily means "losing them" as friends. That certainly wasn't our experience.

I don't believe that swinging with friends necessarily means "losing them" as friends. That certainly wasn't our experience.

It hasn't been ours either but it has happened. But it is something that you do have to be prepared to have happen.

K

Generally, I think it is best not to swing with friends. That said, we have many times made friends out of swingers and a few times found out our "social" friends were also swingers. I think that especially in the early stages of swinging (when you are still inexperienced and working out your boundaries) you may be prone to a higher level of drama than those who are more experienced. Therefore, adding friends to the mix could cause issues in those friendships - even causing them to end. IMO, it's just not worth the risk. Later, once you've got a better handle on your own boundaries (and assuming your friend couples also do as well) and some experience under your belt to know how you will react to different issues, it may not be as bad of an idea.

As I've mentioned before, my wife and I have only played with one other couple and they were friends before we ever had sex with each other. (There is a whole story there. Maybe I'll post it in the 'stories' section one of these days.) Anyway, there is no way the my wife ever would have swung if it weren't for them being such good friends. We enjoyed an incredible 5-month relationship before the other husband got a job transfer overseas and the whole thing ended. Since then, my wife has never wanted to play again and we haven't been fortunate enough to meet another couple with whom we had that kind of 'click'. I can't speak for those who swing on a regular basis but I'm very thankful that we had friends with whom we could share that adventure.

We have never brought any vanilla friends into our swinging world, even if we suspected (or if we found out for sure) that they were swingers.

On exceedingly rare cases, once in fact, have we brought swinging friends into our vanilla world. Even then it took time and a very high degree of trust, in them and ourselves, not to say something off the cuff that would let others know our "deeper" relationship. It can be difficult in casual conversation among close friends not to say something that would give things away. We have sexually oriented conversations even with vanilla friends, so you can image a simple comment about someones sexual prowess could draw a simple understated "yeah" by a third party which would turn a vanilla friends head and give reason to wonder.

We have never swung with vanilla friends, but have become friends with some swingers. I tend to compartmentalize my life and swinging is just another box

We have never swung with vanilla friends, but have become friends with some swingers. I tend to compartmentalize my life and swinging is just another box

Yup.. That sums up for us. Sex friends and then the rest lumped into another group

I've been friends with a guy for about 43 yrs now, , since freshman year in high school, and the first time we swung was with him and that was about 31 yrs ago and we are all still good friends today in fact we talk almost everyday due to a mutual interest. I would say he is one of my two best friends. I'd do a MFM 3-some with him again any time. It was one of the most awesome sexual experiences of my life to this day.

I find most people compartmentalize their contacts into "real life" friends and lifestyle friends. People become friends around common interests, but it's rare that all your friends share all your interests, If a shared interest in sex leads to friendship, that's great, but it is pretty hard to make that work the other way with other social interests. Obviously some people have mixed things successfully, but I'd say that's more of a happy coincidence than something you can expect.