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chrisjoci

Swing with them or not?

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Hello, my wife and I are new to the lifestyle and have discussed it briefly before maybe 2 years ago. Sept. 3rd while we were drinking and having sex I decided to bring it up again and my wife said she has or had fantasies about it just like I do. But she's afraid I'll regret letting her fuck another man. I won't. In fact just by bringing it up and getting it off my chest I can't stop thinking of how much I want her to fuck another guy.

 

Anyway, we were having sex the next day and of course we were drinking she asked me if I remember about me saying I want to cuckold her and I said yes. I asked her if she still wanted to and she sarcastically said twist my arm some more, but she really means yes, lol she's a funny girl.

 

Now here's the thing. Yesterday she told me she just found out that her friend and her friend's boyfriend are swingers and we're going on a week long vacation with them in November. I asked my wife if she wants to swing with them and she said she might if she has some wine, which I know damn well we are probably taking a lot of wine. I want my wife to swing with both of them, but I told my wife I won't touch another girl . They are a good looking couple and a lot of fun. I wouldn't mind her just playing with them and I watch or maybe we could have the girlfriend eat out my wife and her boyfriend fuck her and she can give me head.

 

Any advice if we should hook up with them or should we wait for single guy to come along?

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A couple of things to mention.

 

First, it might be better if you two could talk over this idea in detail when when you are not in the middle of having sex, and not tipsy. From what you described, I'm not exactly sure if you have done that. An open, honest conversation, with both of you sober and clothed, is a great way to make sure that everybody's really on board with the idea of swinging. And if you and your wife thinks she will need a lot of wine in order to have sex with another person, it's worth considering whether she is really as enthusiastic about this idea as she should be. We know plenty of people who like to have a drink or two to relax before playing, but if your wife needs "a lot of wine", is she truly up for this?

 

Second is your idea of playing with your wife's friend, and the friend's boyfriend. I know that seems like a good, safe, comfortable place to start. But if you poke around the forums here, you'll find that most people recommend against playing with pre-lifestyle friends. There is always a risk that something could go wrong, and cause damage to the friendship. If your wife values her friendship with this person, she may want to think twice before putting that friendship at risk. There are many, many, many other fish in the sea! You can find a good, courteous, respectful single guys to play with. Or another choice might be a married guy who sometimes plays solo- as a person of that category, I personally think that is an excellent option for your situation. Either way, my recommendation is that you both talk over the swinging lifestyle with your wife's friend and her boyfriend, get the benefit of their wisdom, experience, advice, and encouragement, but take playing with them off the table.

 

Another reason why I recommend this is because your wife's friend and her boyfriend might be more up for swapping situations, where both of them get to play with both members of another couple. They, specifically she, might be disappointed with the idea that you wouldn't be participating.

 

And on that topic, I might also recommend that you two do,some thinking and talking about your proposed way of swinging. The notion that your wife will be too jealous to allow you to have sex with another woman, while you gladly allow her to have sex with another man, seems inherently inequitable to me. Others may disagree with me on this, but I think scenarios like this would benefit from some extra soul-searching (i.e., asking yourself if you want to be playing with other women, too), careful discussion, and frequent checking in together, to make sure that no feelings of resentment or jealousy creep in on your side. And I don't really mean jealousy in the sense of not wanting her to play- I'm thinking of you encountering a feeling of being left out of the fun, sitting on the sidelines with a camera and a towel, while your wife is whooping it up with another guy, heedless of your desire for pleasure and selfishly keeping it all for herself. I'm describing this in extreme terms, not to accuse your wife of anything untoward, but to illustrate one possible unhappy path that things could take. This may never happen to you two- but it's worth it, I think, to check in together frequently to guard against it.

 

I hope this helps!

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Thank you for all the info. My wife and I agree and we've come to the conclusion that we just aren't ready to act upon entering a swinger lifestyle. We talked about it we think it should remain a fun to talk about fantasy.

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If the discussion has helped you to to know more about each other, and maybe given you two a little more intimacy, then it's all good! And of course, you're welcome to stick around and still read and comment here in the forums. There's plenty of good fantasy-fodder here! And if you two should wish to reconsider things down the road at some point, we'll be here to help if we can.

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You seem to have ruled out the possibility of your playing. Is there a reason for this?

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Yes we will stick around. Even if we aren't ready now, we still talk about it. So it is still a possibility that someday we will do it. We are still going on vacation with a couple that are swingers, they are actually going half's on the shore rental.

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We haven't totally ruled it out, I just don't think I'd feel comfortable with another woman. When and if it happens I'm sure my wife would want me to have fun too.

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We decided we want to go to Secret Pleasures right by us and see how the swinging lifestyle goes. We're taking some wine and probably dressing up since its going to be their Halloween costume party. Seems like a nice place to meet people and a safe environment as well. I have heard males out number females, but I'm not worried about that. Just as long as I'm not expected to dance. Lol.Even if nothing sexual happens we should have a good time.

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