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How did you decide sex only - not friends or friends first?

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I know we have had plenty of questions regarding friendships with potential partners...What I am curious about is for those that prefer sex only and are not seeking a friendship first, how did you get to that conclusion?

 

Did you start out seeking to have sex with other people and if a friendship came from it great if not then that was ok too...Or did you start out seeking friendship and then gradually moved to sex with possible friendship?

 

I am curious because hubby and I are pondering the whole friendship thing..We have met several couples in the last few years and each time we have started off as great friends and eventually moved things to the bedroom. Each friendship lasted between 4-6 mths and then ended due to different things. (cple became possesive and or etc..)

 

We still consider ourselves newbies, but wonder if maybe we are putting to much emphasis on the friendship....So was curious on why some choose only sex.

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Originally posted by nc_couple_28304

We still consider ourselves newbies, but wonder if maybe we are putting to much emphasis on the friendship....So was curious on why some choose only sex.

We both need some attraction outside the bedroom, so far. However, if you're happy with your history so far than you aren't putting too much emphasis on friendship. If you feel like you want to change your pattern then do so. You'll get a wide range of opinions here In fact out of 12 people you ask you'll probably get 13 different opinions. Good Luck.:kissface:

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i think sex only is a good idea, it spares the worries of jealous some spouses may have . besides isn't swinging basically a physical thing after all... you already have the emotional in you own relationship. just a thought:kiss:

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Guest Seymore

I couldnt imagine having sex with someone I didnt get to know first. Im sure that in the sexually-charged of a swing club or party it would be easy to feel differently... but its not likely that my wife and I would ever go to one of these type of events.

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I also think friendship must be established first. Neither my wife nor I would ever consider being with another couple the first night. We have a couple we have been friends with for almost 4 years. About a year ago we started having SRS with them, and the ladies are having romps with each other. Our friendship is strong, but we don't spend every weekend with each other. I think that's what you need to make it work: distance. As with any relationship, "smothering" can affect it negatively. We have fun doing other things as couples (dinner, movies, vacations), and the sex is just a bonus. If you keep the attitude that you all have boundaries and you don't get carried away, then there shouldn't be too many emotional problems. And the friendship may outlast the sex.

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After being in the Lifestyle many years you realize it is tough to become friends first. Friendships develop gradually and most of the time when you become really close friends, the sex ends, but the friendships last. We chose this lifestyle for fun, our fun. We find that we dont care for any drama in our lives. Its best to have sex first and if friendships develop so be it.

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finally an honest post to this, how many of you truly develope the friendship before the sex came in to play? if you say you did then just how long before on meeting or did ya make it to too before things got hot? in reality i think most out there meet & greet might wait till the 2nd so called "date". but really getting along in bed is usually a factor in developing the friendship or not... how many unsatisfactory swaps do youdevelope friendships with. I applaud those who respond honestly:8-0:: :confused::claps: :claps:

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Originally posted by mifligirl25

finally an honest post to this, SNIP I applaud those who respond honestly.

It appears that to you "honestly" just means that you agree with the opinion. You've decided what everyone should think and if they don't they're just being dishonest.

 

Interesting perspective to say the least. Must make it kind of hard to learn anything about other people. Oh, I get it you already know everything about everyone else.

:bricks:

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If we were to be "friends first" we would never get to the sex. I am a bit more outgoing than Mrs Fun is, but I am very slow to let anyone inside my head. Honestly I don't know if I have the capacity for that kind of openness with anyone but Barbara.

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I'm not going to say it's friendship first, but then again there about as many levels of friendship as there are of love. There has to be some connection for me or I want get in the mental place needed for good play. At a minimum, I have to think I'd like to be friends with them. Does that mean BBQ every weekend friends? hopefully but not really. Does it mean being able to enjoy several hours in their company? definitely. This is something that can usually be determined on a first date situation. If we all manage to survive dinner together, then I'd say we're friends of some sort.

 

Having lived through the early 80's, I've already done anonymous and bad idea sex. No need to go back there for the either the shoulder pads or the sexual practices.

 

-- Bunny

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I should clarify a bit. We both have to LIKE the people at least, but it doesn't have to go to friendship. In the way I define true friends, someone is lucky to get three in a lifetime.

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Originally posted by fun_pairTX

I should clarify a bit. We both have to LIKE the people at least, but it doesn't have to go to friendship. In the way I define true friends, someone is lucky to get three in a lifetime.

 

Maybe it should be changed to good sexual aquaintences because you are right Fun_pairTX, true friends are rare. However, I've found since I've been with Bear, the chemistry needed to feel that immediated sexual attraction is pretty much focused on him. So I need something to spark with another couple and enough time to have a few laughs and some serious flirting is required.

-- Bunny

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We prefer to "hook up" with people we would like and be friends with. Whether or not we actually become true "friends" is not relevant, we just have a need to be able to like and respect the people we choose as our partners. There has to be more than just a physical attraction for us. We couldn't have sex with people we didn't like or know on a friendly basis. While some couples are fine with having sex with people they know nothing about, that is fine for them, and it’s their choice. Our choice is know people enough before hand to see if we can share our thoughts and humor with them. If this means it takes longer to "get busy" so be it. We are perfectly happy to be with just each other until things "click" with others. ;)

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I like it both ways. I belong to a circle of 40-50 couples (many of whom have been in just as long as I have 20+ years) and there are many friendships there. In fact, two of the couples are probably my closest friends on earth outside of my best friend. Anyhow, we all have sex....there's a function going on almost every weekend hosted by couples within the group.

 

I also like going to an on-premise club, eventually having sex with some people I know and some I don't. I can't count how many times after sex I've asked, 'And your name is?' :rofl:

 

A friend within my *circle* owns a business and has a huge warehouse of which his business only occupies around 35% of. So one weekend he had a GloryHole Party (think that's what he called it, it's been a few years). His wife and him belong to several *circles* and invited people from all the circles. He had partitioned off 50% of the warehouse and built these rows of booths, 10 rows of 10 I believe it was...anyhow, it was fun going from booth to booth, not knowing who was in the booth on either side to you (you weren't allowed to look in the holes to see) and either giving blow jobs, getting eaten or having sex thru the holes. They did have it set up very nice and had a common area that was carpeted with couches, chairs...a few sex swings, pillows etc and many people were there having sex also. That couple has had many parties there and eventually just converted it to their 'lil warehouse of sin' and have regular parties there. I had to miss their last GloryaHole party. :sad: But I was sure I didn't miss their annual BDSM party last March.:D

 

Quin

()()

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Did you start out seeking to have sex with other people and if a friendship came from it great if not then that was ok too

 

We have found that it is more likely for friendships to blossom after sexual encounter(s) than vice versa. In fact, our experience has been, with some rare exceptions, that couples who emphasize "friendship first" are generally those couples who are still ambivalent about the sex question and are just biding time in hopes that the reluctanct partner will "cum around." This sometimes leads to uncomfortable situations. Our policy now is to just avoid these couples and leave the drama to others.

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Well, I'll give you this. You're consistent with your idea of what "honesty" means. Someone else who thinks like you do.:lol:

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I did not see this word in any of the prior replies. Acquaintances are people you enjoy being with, but you don't develop the deep friendship one finds with a wife or the close friends one may be able to cultivate during a lifetime.

 

To swing, we need to (now) be able to ensure some intelligence to go with the sex. As we enter our 50s, we know that the best sexual organ is in the mind and if the people we are in bed with have to be attractive mentally as well as physically. Otherwise it will make for a long and boring evening.

 

Ah to be 25 again. :)

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One of the reasons why I like debating on this swingers board is due to the pervasive denial, delusion, and rationalization that

seems to infect a large percentage of the people who choose to indulge in these sort of activities.

 

Now if I may interject.....

 

The concept of ascertaining true friendship with people that you sought out for the purpose of fucking in a group sex setting is ludicrous at best.

 

If you are considering anyone as a potential sexual partner and attempt to befriend them on this basis or as part of the equation, this is not "true friendship".Your motive for befriending them alone taints its legitimacy. It is founded in lust/sexual desire. Real friendships are not based on whether or not you like the idea of an individual fucking you or your spouse. You may desire to be around people you get along with or find interesting but this does not constitute a legitimate friendship by any means.

 

The Devil

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Originally posted by DevilzAdvokit

One of the reasons why I like debating on this swingers board is due to the pervasive denial, delusion, and rationalization that

seems to infect a large percentage of the people who choose to indulge in these sort of activities.

 

Now if I may interject.....

 

The concept of ascertaining true friendship with people that you sought out for the purpose of fucking in a group sex setting is ludicrous at best.

 

If you are considering anyone as a potential sexual partner and attempt to befriend them on this basis or as part of the equation, this is not "true friendship".Your motive for befriending them alone taints its legitimacy. It is founded in lust/sexual desire. Real friendships are not based on whether or not you like the idea of an individual fucking you or your spouse. You may desire to be around people you get along with or find interesting but this does not constitute a legitimate friendship by any means.

 

The Devil

 

 

 

Your blanket denial that friendships can't exist between swing partners is what is ludicrous. While people seldom meet people that become "life long best friends" with, many do meet people they become friends with. There are infinite different levels of friendships and they are all legitimate.

 

I consider myself friends with the guy that owns the store were I buy my lottery tickets. We don't exchange birthday cards or share Christmas dinners and my only reason to enter his store is to by lottery tickets but that does not make our friendship illegitimate.

 

Just because you don't, won't, can't make friendships in the swinger community don't insult others who have or want too. Swinging is like anything else - you can never tell when you'll meet a new friend.

 

Jesse

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I have to concede your point.

 

I do not desire to become "true friends" with everyone we may consider.

 

But, I do have a very close and true friend from this kind of endeavor. We no longer play with this couple in a sexual sense but she and I have and do remain ...true friends. Yep that is right…” how is your mom doing, talk about the kids, get together for lunch, help move the furniture friends”

 

So while it is not, in my opinion, always plausible it is possible. There is an exception to every rule. (So the saying goes). There are levels of engagement that we all keep with other people. Darter and I prefer to like and have something to say to the people we play with.

 

The way I look at it…if I wouldn’t want to talk to these people or be seen with them with my cloths on why on earth would I want to “be” with them, with my cloths off. I for one cannot just say

“ Hi, are you doing anything right now? Cool, lets fuck”

 

Maybe you can…. If so … that is what is cool for you.

 

 

~Cat

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In a room full of heroin addicts you can find all sorts of bizarre things that they will concur on that the rest of the world would not. The same goes for the swinging community. Just because it is a common self placating delusion in a deviant cross section of society does not designate it as fact.

What do you want to bet that the rest of society that doesnt swing would more than likely agree with me on this one?

It may be a relationship of sorts but true untainted friendship it is not.

 

Jesse,

 

You dont know the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. The person that you described that you get your lottery tickets from is an acquaintance by definition. Not a friend.

And just because you inquire of the condition of someones loved ones does not make them a true friend either. I do more personal inquiry than that with most of my clientele but that certainly does not designate them as true friends of mine. They say that within a life time you can usually count the number of "true friends" that you have on one hand. People often use term friend too loosely and more often misuse the word altogether when they should have used the term acquaintance.

 

The Devil

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Dear Devil,

 

Your sight is very limited... purrhaps you missed the second half of my statement...

 

I do not move just anyone’s furniture or help with his or her kids. Open your eyes to the exception. With your very narrow definitions and black and white absolutes you are missing all the really wonderful shades of gray...and colors in-between.

 

Do I want to be friends with everyone we would consider playing with...NO. And I think all heroin addicts together in a room may just be able to reach consensus on you.

 

There are people who need to keep it clean and separate because that is where they are at and they don’t need more than physical attraction. I would say that is you. There are people who like a bit more. Thing is- we are not being absolute devils about your choice and ability( or lack of interest ) to form bonds. You are about ours.

 

Relax and enjoy with those who feel the same . I don’t so it will not be me ( wicked grin included for free)

 

~Cat

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Originally posted by DevilzAdvokit

...

The concept of ascertaining true friendship with people that you sought out for the purpose of fucking in a group sex setting is ludicrous at best.

...

:rofl: You know, sometimes you just crack me up, Devil! Thanks for the laugh...

 

-B

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Originally posted by DevilzAdvokit

They say that within a life time you can usually count the number of "true friends" that you have on one hand. People often use term friend too loosely and more often misuse the word altogether when they should have used the term acquaintance.

 

The Devil

 

So, you have a hand full of friends and that is all, the rest of the people you know are only acquaintances? Might be a little lonely.

While you are right that one will seldom have more than a hand full of "true friends" as you call them, that does not mean no one else can be considered a friend. That is too black and white for the real world.

 

Even if you stick to that narrow definition it still does not prove you contention that a person can not meet a "true friend " while swinging. You are as likely to find one swinging as you are when involved in anything else you have an interest in.

 

However it doesn't much matter since I'm happy with my definitions. I may be delusional but I'm happy. Unless I'm deluding myself about that too. :lol:

 

Jesse

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When we meet with a couple, we've usually either chatted with them on Yahoo or seen their profiles on the various swinger/swapper services, so we've got some idea of what to expect.

 

For some encounters, we're just satisfied with sex. We've met a few couples who have admitted "We're doing this just once. Don't contact us again. But let's go fuck." And we have no problem with that, especially if that couple is physically attractive to us. Some of our best experiences have been with these one-hit (or one-switch) wonders.

 

Others we befriend, and sometimes don't even swing with on the first "date." We like having friends in the lifestyle, and we're always looking for long-term friends. However, with the friendships come the problems that friendships begat. For example, last week, some friends of ours saw some pics of us with someone of another race and freaked out, kicked us out of their swing club, and basically made complete fools of themselves. It hurt our feelings very badly because we'd come to regard these people as our friends.

 

Right now when we swing, we basically decide whether or not we like these people we're meeting, and if so, we'll invite them home. We're not going to be friends with everyone we play with, but it helps.

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Responses to Devilzadkovit

 

As stated by Jesse:

Your blanket denial that friendships can't exist between swing partners is what is ludicrous. While people seldom meet people that become "life long best friends" with, many do meet people they become friends with. There are infinite different levels of friendships and they are all legitimate.

 

As stated by Bodyscape02:

Open your eyes to the exception. With your very narrow definitions and black and white absolutes you are missing all the really wonderful shades of gray...and colors in-between.

 

I whole heartedly agree with all of the above.

 

Now in response to the original question of "Sex Only"

 

We have played in several ways. We have played with people we hardly knew, played with people we thought we knew, based on just swinging and found out we didn't and have played with people that we have come to know very well in both their personal lives and their swinging lives.

 

Our overall decision is that we MUST HAVE THE LATTER. We have found that forming a friendship based on overall areas, not just swinging, works best for us. Do we consider our "now" swing partners friends. You bet. I'd consider several of them very close friends. Close enough that they/we could pick up a phone and call them for assistance in a matter if need be. Close enough to have met with members of their family and invited to their normal social functions, and them ours.

 

I don't understand your definition of friendship, Devil, but I'd say I define the above noted, that in our respect we would consider them true friends.

 

You must lead a very lonely life, if your expressed definition is all you have been able to find in your lifetime. Perhaps you are just too young to see the forest for the trees, or unwilling to do so.

 

Mrs. O

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The Devil did not create the "old" saying about being able to count your true friends on one hand by the end of your days. Maybe you do not have real friends and the saying is lost upon you. Some one far wiser than the Devil and most definately wiser than you invented it. As far as the Devil spending his days in solitude and loneliness I'll assure that he does not. He is surrounded by true friends and many good acquaintances most of the time. The only difference is that the Devil does not concoct his friendships from his desire to bed them. He makes friends like normal healthy people do. Just because the Devil likes group sex doesnt mean that he follows the typical swinger mentality. This is not an identity for him. He has no need for their lingo or cliches. He does not follow their ettiquette nor subscribe to most of their beliefs.

The Devil does not do this because he is given to the superficial. He does this because this is the way he thinks it should be. He isnt into modified polyamory. He just likes two at once sometimes.

 

The Devil

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Remember, whenever anyone starts to talk about themselves in the 3rd person, to nod politely and back away slowly.

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It was actually a joint response from both of us so I chose to write from her perspective

rather than from my own for amusement purposes. There are many things on this board that should nodded at and backed away from way before a post that is not in the first person. FYI... The Devil is a two headed beast that posts as a singular entity. Though only one head posts, it does so according to the beliefs and opinions of both.

 

The Devil

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Originally posted by Chicup

Remember, whenever anyone starts to talk about themselves in the 3rd person, to nod politely and back away slowly.

And don't forget to smile and avoid direct eye contact!

 

;)

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Shoulder Pads?

 

Bunny, of Bear n Bunny, I just read your post of not wanting to re-visit the 80's because you had done the shoulder pads and bad idea sex,,,well, you had me laughing over here, sex in shoulder pads,,,what a visual,,thanks,

BK

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Someone posted on this (or a similar) subject earlier this year, and said something along the lines of, "We make friends out of swingers; we don't make swingers out of friends."* We said at the time that it was a damn fine maxim, and it is one we continue to subscribe to.

 

We enjoy a certain compartmentalisation in our lives. And while we want to like the people we play with, we don't feel any need to turn them into close friends before we get hot and sweaty with them.

 

* - Our apologies for not being able to remember who made that statement. But it's still a damn fine maxim, IOHO.

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Even though we should just nod and back off, the Devil needs another voice to hear.

 

I can agree with your definition of a friend. A true friend is a rare jewel. Close acquaintences are valuable in peoples lifes. Friendly acquaitences are where most of spend our free time.

 

But to say a friend cannot be developed in the bedroom or swing world is like saying a friend can't be developed on the job. One need only to see the testimonials from matchmaker or other online meeting service to see that you can start a friendship almost any where.

 

Sex is intimate. A friendship is intimate. There is no reason the two cannot meet in any order.

 

Bill

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We don't have a lot of time to swing due to my work and being gone a lot. We decided that, for us, we don't need to be friends first. If a friendship develops that's fine but not necessary. We're looking for sex, friendship would be a bonus.

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Personally, I would like to develop a friendship with a couple before anything else. I just like to be friendly and outgoing and get to know the people atleast a little before the fun begins. I've seen some single guys that don't care if its just a one night stand with a couple......there's no way i could do that.....but everyone's different.

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Why is it necessary for people to abandon logic , reality, and common sense in order to indulge in multiple partner sexuality? Why cant people just decide to include others into their sex lives without turning their backs on the laws of nature that govern human sexuality? Its like there is a pervasive mentality amongst the swinging community that dictates that if you want to have mutliple partner sex you have to buy into their common nonreality based code if you want to be a member. You dont have to rewrite the rules just because you like to break and bend them. And just because you have rewritten them to suit your cause doesnt mean that they are not seriously flawed and based on the illogical.

 

I'll make it simple....

 

Fucking = sexual relationship

Friendship= platonic relationship

 

Once you fuck someone it becomes a sexual relationship. The true dynamics are forever changed and always will be. You cant unbake a cake. (the ex-wife/girlfriend factor)

If you sought them out for this purpose initially they never were a friend. They were potential sexual partners from the get go. Once you are done fucking them they become past sexual partners. There will always be that element that taints the relationship and keeps it from being truly platonic.

 

The Devil

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Originally posted by DevilzAdvokit

Fucking = sexual relationship

Friendship= platonic relationship

[/b]

 

Even Plato would probably disagree with your definitions.

 

Sex is a shared experience - nothing more, nothing less. Friendship does not always follow shared experiences, but neither is friendship precluded just because a shared experience happens to include sex.

 

Friendship requires shared experiences, such as work, church, sports, travel, popular entertainment, etc., but also requires a second element - emotional attachment. Whether someone is a close friend or a not so close friend depends on the level of emotional attachment to that person. When there is no emotional attachment, shared ecperiences, whether they include sex or not, result in acquaintances, not friends. Feelings change over time, so acquaintenceships can blossom into friendships and vice versa, but whether or not sex is involved is not the determining factor.

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Originally posted by DevilzAdvokit

...

Fucking = sexual relationship

Friendship= platonic relationship

...

No, I disagree. Are you saying the two are mutually exclusive? You can certainly fuck somebody and still be their friend. I've done it.

 

-B

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Originally posted by DevilzAdvokit

Why is it necessary for people to abandon logic , reality, and common sense in order to indulge in multiple partner sexuality? Why cant people just decide to include others into their sex lives without turning their backs on the laws of nature that govern human sexuality?

 

Having a degree in evolutionary biology, I think I’m qualified to state that nothing in Swinging turns its back on the laws of nature. In fact it all follows the laws of nature quite nicely.

 

Its like there is a pervasive mentality amongst the swinging community that dictates that if you want to have mutliple partner sex you have to buy into their common nonreality based code if you want to be a member. You dont have to rewrite the rules just because you like to break and bend them. And just because you have rewritten them to suit your cause doesnt mean that they are not seriously flawed and based on the illogical.

 

Since when did YOU make the rules? A big ego does not make it so.

 

 

 

I'll make it simple....

 

Fucking = sexual relationship

Friendship= platonic relationship

 

Once you fuck someone it becomes a sexual relationship. The true dynamics are forever changed and always will be. You cant unbake a cake. (the ex-wife/girlfriend factor)

If you sought them out for this purpose initially they never were a friend. They were potential sexual partners from the get go. Once you are done fucking them they become past sexual partners. There will always be that element that taints the relationship and keeps it from being truly platonic.

 

Lets try this:

 

Fucking = Fucking

Friendship = Friendship

 

The two can be unrelated, and can be mixed without changing them. I have fucked women who I am not friends with, I have friends who I do not fuck, and I have friends who I do fuck. With the friends whom I fuck, we do things that don’t involve fucking that I also do with ‘Friends whom I fuckith not’. There have even been times where ‘Friends whom I fuck’ and ‘Friends whom I fuckith not’ were together with my wife and I, doing things which were fun for both ‘Friends whom I fuck’ and the ‘Friends whom I fuckith not’, and none of them involved sex. Perhaps The Devil, which I think is a bit strong a moniker, for one playing Loki, has a problem being friends with whom he fuckith, and as such I feel sorry for him. He also neglects the fact that often times there are people involved even in the ‘Friends who fuck’ category who do not fuck. I do not fuck husbands, yet we do many other things together which are indistinguishable from the things I do with the males who are the ‘Friends whom I fuckith not’. Are we not friends?

You could say we are ‘Friends who fuckith each others wives’, but that matters not when we watch the Sunday football games.

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Most normal humans outside of the swinging community(most of the world) would more than likely agree with me on this one. If you want to call someone your great friend because you can actually have a beer and watch a TV show with them then go for it. I think your definition of real friendship is sad but go for it none the less. I can hang out and do the same with people that I could care less if they got run over by a train on the way home. I have enough real untainted friendships and good acquaintances that I dont have to try and contrue them from my sexual entertainment. I feel sorry for you if you are so lacking in this area that you must do so. :( And if the people you choose to participate in these activities with are way more than a form of sexual entertainment then you are actually practicing a lesser form of polyamory and not swinging.

 

I can lead a horse to water but not make it think.....

 

The Devil

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This thread is becoming funnier.

 

Me thinks the Devil will not give up his opinion. Nor will he recognize that it is an opinion.

 

In the social sciences people learn to live with grey. This may be a time for that (although most of us know the Devil is wrong here).

 

Perhaps the person who is leading the horse needs to be a little more open minded.

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Originally posted by DevilzAdvokit

The only difference is that the Devil does not concoct his friendships from his desire to bed them. He makes friends like normal healthy people do. Just because the Devil likes group sex doesnt mean that he follows the typical swinger mentality.

Welp, Devil, I'd have to say that you have no idea what you are missing out on, but that is my opinion only. And maybe friendship and sex do not work for you, but they do for others. I'd say my relationship with swinging friends are as "normal and healty" as the ones I have with non-swinging friends.

 

But that's cool. Isn't variety the spice of life and that's what is so great about this lifestyle? :D

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Originally posted by DevilzAdvokit

Most normal humans outside of the swinging community(most of the world) would more than likely agree with me on this one.

 

So you are saying people with no experience in swinging would agree with you on your opinions about swingers? Great, I always find asking the uninformed masses the best way to find the truth.

 

If you want to call someone your great friend because you can actually have a beer and watch a TV show with them then go for it. I think your definition of real friendship is sad but go for it none the less. I can hang out and do the same with people that I could care less if they got run over by a train on the way home.

 

Try to define a friend for me in practical terms. Best definition I know is that a friend helps you move, a real friend helps you move bodies. Either way there is nothing in swinging the precludes this.

 

I have enough real untainted friendships and good acquaintances that I dont have to try and contrue them from my sexual entertainment. I feel sorry for you if you are so lacking in this area that you must do so. :(

 

I think we get to the heart of your issues. Swinging/Sex taints the relationship to you. Taint is a very telling word. Nothing is ‘tainted’ in a good way.

 

Taint

1. To affect with or as if with a disease.

2. To affect with decay or putrefaction; spoil.

3. To corrupt morally.

4. To affect with a tinge of something reprehensible.

 

This sounds like your hang up, not everyone else’s. Sex doesn’t ‘taint’ a relationship. If anything our swinging friends are closer to us then our non-swinging friends because there are no hang ups between us. We can talk about anything without embarrassment.

 

And if the people you choose to participate in these activities with are way more than a form of sexual entertainment then you are actually practicing a lesser form of polyamory and not swinging.

 

No, I do not ‘love’ them, I am friends with them. I don’t know what kind of relationships you have with your *ahem* untainted friends, but I doubt its anything deeper or more meaningful then I have with my ‘normal’ friends or ‘tainted’ ones.

 

I can lead a horse to water but not make it think.....

More like you can assume your hang ups are everyone’s hang ups, but you can not make it so.

 

The Exorcist

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Originally posted by Chicup

So you are saying people with no experience in swinging would agree with you on your opinions about swingers? Great, I always find asking the uninformed masses the best way to find the truth.

 

 

 

Try to define a friend for me in practical terms. Best definition I know is that a friend helps you move, a real friend helps you move bodies. Either way there is nothing in swinging the precludes this.

 

 

 

I think we get to the heart of your issues. Swinging/Sex taints the relationship to you. Taint is a very telling word. Nothing is ‘tainted’ in a good way.

 

Taint

1. To affect with or as if with a disease.

2. To affect with decay or putrefaction; spoil.

3. To corrupt morally.

4. To affect with a tinge of something reprehensible.

 

This sounds like your hang up, not everyone else’s. Sex doesn’t ‘taint’ a relationship. If anything our swinging friends are closer to us then our non-swinging friends because there are no hang ups between us. We can talk about anything without embarrassment.

 

 

 

No, I do not ‘love’ them, I am friends with them. I don’t know what kind of relationships you have with your *ahem* untainted friends, but I doubt its anything deeper or more meaningful then I have with my ‘normal’ friends or ‘tainted’ ones.

 

 

More like you can assume your hang ups are everyone’s hang ups, but you can not make it so.

 

The Exorcist

EXCELLENT, Chicup. EXCELLENT! I agree with all of it.

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I have no experience with pedophilia but I surely can give a rational and logical explanation as to what is wrong with it.

Though most swingers "think" they are so much more sexually evolved than the rest of the masses, it doesnt take farming your spouse out to be able to rationally debate some of the common practices and beliefs that exist within the swinging community.

 

Most human beings define a friend as a very close platonic relationship. Once sex is involved it is a sexual relationship. There are many various forms of sexual relationships. John/Hooker, one night stand, girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife, milk man/house wife, girl you fuck drunk but wont take out,cell mates :(

 

Hang up? Preference. Just because I actually have a satisfactory personal relationship with my spouse and I really dont have the need for one with yours doesnt mean that its a hang up.

 

The Devil

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Originally posted by DevilzAdvokit

I have no experience with pedophilia but I surely can give a rational and logical explanation as to what is wrong with it.

Though most swingers "think" they are so much more sexually evolved than the rest of the masses, it doesnt take farming your spouse out to be able to rationally debate some of the common practices and beliefs that exist within the swinging community.

I have no idea where your comment of 'pedophilia' comes from and quite frankly, I'm not going to read this entire thread again, on your behalf and give you the benefit of my time.

 

What I have seen, based on your overall postings is that you are here to 'stir' trouble. Speaking only for myself, Please take your troubles elsewhere.

 

I would like to ask that all members just ignore any future comments from DevilzAdvokit. I've yet to have seen a productive one for a thread, and I'm tired of the antagonistic behavior.

 

Mrs. O

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Originally posted by OhioCouple

What I have seen, based on your overall postings is that you are here to 'stir' trouble. Speaking only for myself, Please take your troubles elsewhere.

 

Mrs. O

 

I think you're wrong, Mrs. O. The Devil is not here to stir up trouble. He has decided that he is light-years ahead of all other humans in intelligence and the ability to reason. He cannot understand why others do not agree with him. It's that inability to understand that tips us off.

 

In order to keep proving his superiority to himself and, he may think, others, he cannot make a point without being insulting, cannot disagree without belittleing. He has to be despotic in his posts. For these reasons, he's a terrible debater.

 

He's really pretty transparent. His affliction is called paranoia with delusions of grandeur. It a condition enjoyed by many of history's past despots.

 

Just pay him no mind.

 

Mr. Alura

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