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  1. #1

    Default Invited to our first party

    Being new to swinging we have only been with one couple. As bad as this sounds, the couple we played with enjoys being the first for other couples. They usually meet couples with bicurious women. My wife is neither bi nor curious. We have now been invited to a house party they are hosting. We will be one of 5 couples invited. We were told the other 4 couples had their firsts with our host. All the other women we were told enjoyed girl play. My wife is hesitant. We were assured that nobody will push the subject on her. Neither of us have been in a group situation. It sounds exciting. We had turned a blind eye to our past infidelities and have only played together with the one couple. Being all the couples will be new to group play we will all be nervous I’m sure. My question is how do things start? Do we get dressed up or does everyone get undressed. We were told we are the second youngest couple. One couple is 20 or more years older than us.

    I’ve read that at a club we can watch or play alone. This is a party with strangers for us. Also do we bring a house gift? I said bringing a bottle is enough.


  2. #2

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    Nobody will usually try to make anyone do something that they are not interested in. Just let them know that your wife isn't interested in girl/girl play and I don't think she will have any problems. Most of the time everyone will get there, talk some, and then someone will either suggest a game or just start underssing to get the ball rolling (but sometimes everyone is waiting for everyone else to start and things can stall out). I would assume that the couple hosting who already knows everyone would take the lead here. You may want to ask who the other couples are so you can read their profiles and see if there is any interest and you can get to know them better remotely. In my experience, house gifts are optional but appreciated. Let us know how things go.
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  3. #3

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    We asked for profiles after reading your post. They said they don’t have written profiles for the other couples. Three of the couples are married and the other couple is younger than us and single. They know our concerns with the wife playing with other women and said she shouldn’t worry. They didn’t have any plans of how things would go and again reassured us that they would steer the party in the right direction. They had bought some games as a party starter.
    I think we are excited.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    Tonight is the party. I won’t admit to my wife I am as nervous as she is. I am never nervous with a woman. Why am I nervous? I am taking a cialis just because. My wife said I should shave everything. I’ve never done that and she never asked. I’m thinking she has been with someone that did that. I never ask her about men she has met. She is worried about women even though I told her she just has to say she isn’t interested. I won’t tell her how hot I think it would be. She is worried the men won’t want her. I laugh because I hope the other women are as good as her. I think I want her to enjoy more than I want for myself. I’ve only seen her with our hosts. It was one on one. We discussed how or if two men want her. She thinks that won’t happen. In my head all the men will want her. Why are we worrying?

  5. #5
    Swingers Board Addict alexandsandra's Avatar
    Status
    married couple

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    At our first Swing club:

    My husband: Are you worried ?

    Me: Would it help ?


    We were having sex with new people an hour later. Pretty great night for us newbies.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    ...and now it's Monday. How did things go? BTW, it sounds like you and your wife could still work some on your communication. You both should be able to say these things to each other...even if you know the other isn't interested. You need to be able to talk about anything and everything (what if the reason she isn't interested in other women is because she thinks you wouldn't like it? Probably not the case, but it's still possible). Hope things were epic!
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  7. #7

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoCouple View Post
    ...and now it's Monday. How did things go? BTW, it sounds like you and your wife could still work some on your communication. You both should be able to say these things to each other...even if you know the other isn't interested. You need to be able to talk about anything and everything (what if the reason she isn't interested in other women is because she thinks you wouldn't like it? Probably not the case, but it's still possible). Hope things were epic!
    I wouldn’t call the party epic. We do talk to each other more now than ever before. I thought I wanted to hear about all of her meetings with men without me. Maybe details don’t have to be shared. I don’t mind that she meets people and she knows I do as well. She knows I want to watch her with a woman,she just doesn’t want to. Even before we left for the party she told me “I’m not eating pussy so don’t push” I think she expressed herself.
    The party itself was not what I pictured. We had been with the hosts before. They were the only couple we had been with. It ended up that four other couples came to the party. We knew that one was younger than us. The other three had a big age span. As soon as we got to the party we only saw two of the couples. Neither of them interested us. Just not our “type”. We had some drinks and the younger couple joined the conversation. Good looking couple, he was too loud. Then the last couple. At this point my Mrs told me she wasn’t screwing any of these guys. I told her she doesn’t have to do anything but let’s stay. At some point things got started. The younger woman came over to me and made a comment that led me to believe she wasn’t interested in any of the men either. Quite frankly I could see why. I’m not in the greatest shape but I was compared to the others. Her boyfriend, I thought all the couples were married,was in pretty good shape. He was the attention getter. At this point I thought I wanted to watch some of the women get it on. Okay it’s a fantasy. What I did see didn’t excite me. My wife turned away the women and the men. I privately told her to play with the younger guy. She said he was already playing. I know he was. I asked her if it was okay to play with the only one I found attractive. She said fine but I only would if she would play with someone. She ended up with Alan our host. At that point I started playing. I did stop to make sure she was old enough. She laughed. She said she was 26. It’s hard to tell these days. So here I am with a younger woman who has a boyfriend who is young and how do I say, endowed! How am I going to please her. I guess I did a decent job. I experience something I thought was a myth. She squirted. Either that or she peed on my face. She also was very active sexually. If it weren’t for her, the party was horrible. On the way home we agreed it wasn’t a great party. Even my wife said she was hoping to be with more than one man but not with anyone there. I asked what about the younger guy. She basically said he seemed like an asshole.
    That’s the story. Our first party. Not sure if we will try again.

  8. #8
    Swingers Board Addict alexandsandra's Avatar
    Status
    married couple

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    So, let me get this straight: You both had sex with other people, but not enough other people ?

  9. #9

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    Quote Originally Posted by alexandsandra View Post
    So, let me get this straight: You both had sex with other people, but not enough other people ?
    That sounds bad. I think we were thinking it was going to be wild. I hate to sound that we were being stuck up. The people there were just not people we would be friends with. Maybe they are really nice people. I had nothing in common other than sex. Don’t know what we wanted. I think laughs. Both of us are outgoing. On vacation we meet people we have fun with. Not sex fun but fun fun. The woman I had sex was hot and in any other setting I don’t think she would have approached me. I most likely would have noticed her but because of age difference I would not have approached her. In that sense I scored. My wife had sex with someone I know she had enjoyed before. If she didn’t like him we would never had accepted the invite. To answer your question yes we both had good sex.


  10. #10
    Swingers Board Addict njbm's Avatar
    Status
    couple
    SLS Profile
    Scarletknight29

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    Good for you guys!

  11. #11
    Swingers Board Addict padoc's Avatar
    Status
    couple
    SLS Profile
    padoc

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    Sometimes people look for that
    "perfect" couple and forget that this is supposed to be (for us at least)simply recreational sex. You apparently had fun at the party so, were we you, we'd call the evening a success. Most of the time "perfect" doesn't happen but a lot of times "doable" does. If you find doable partners enjoy it and remember, its just sex.

  12. #12

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    What were you looking for at the party. Were you looking for multiple partners? My husband wanted to watch me which I did. I don’t need to watch him. If it was just sex it sounds you got what you wanted.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    If only someone has warned you or said something...wait!

    You may want to ask who the other couples are so you can read their profiles and see if there is any interest and you can get to know them better remotely.
    I did, I did say something. In the swinging world there are two types of couples: quality and quantity. Quality usually means there needs to be a 'connection' between everyone. Quantity doesn't, lets just play! Not that one is better than the other, just that there are two different thoughts. It's HARD to find four people who feel a connection. It sounds like you lean towards this more than quantity. In the future you can take more time looking for that connection. You've lived and now you've learned. Still, congrats on taking a step that 98% of the population either can't or won't ever take.
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  14. #14

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    GoldCoCouple we did ask who was coming. They wouldnít give names. He said it was a trust thing and he wouldnít give our name out either. I appreciated that. I donít think anyone there is on this site. We try to keep this private with no pictures posted. Do you get a list of people at a club before you go? We are new to playing together and are still learning. My hook ups without my wife had nothing to do with a profile. Mrs Angel has a profile on an affairs site. She claims everyone lies there.
    We want quality. The party was more for quantity. We are learning still. We both want variety I think. You stated we are part of 2% that have done this. It said that 30-50 of married couples have one or both partners who are unfaithful. I figure others like variety. Infidelity has many causes. We love each other. Since we admitted our cheating it has been freeing.

  15. #15

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    We are about a connection between couples...if they wouldn't have let us known who would be there (so we could see if there was a chance of a connection) we most likely would have taken a pass. Water under the bridge. While you don't get a list of people who will be at a club, you do get a much larger group to sample from and if you don't click with a couple, you can move on to the next. All besides the point now. You've learned something from this and it doesn't sound like it was too painful.

    30-50% of married couples may be cheating, but cheating isn't swinging and it never will be. Swinging requires a couple be so close, so open, so loving that they can talk about anything, including sexual fantasies, and have a relationship so strong that they are willing to make these fantasies come true. Very few couples have a relationship this great, even less choose to move forward down this path hence the 2% number.
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  16. #16

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    I had noted before that we were part of that 50%. I cheated and then she cheated. Our cheating brought us closer once the truth was out. The honesty led us to swinging. Prior to taking that step we opened up and discussed the people we cheated with. Mrs Angel belongs to a site for affairs. A few times my wife showed me guys she was chatting with. She asked for my opinion. I was curious to see how she acts with the men she met. We never asked any to join us. She never mentioned to them that I knew. The conversation led us to meeting our only couple. I know we aren’t typical.

  17. #17
    Swingers Board Addict adamgunn's Avatar
    Status
    Couple.
    SLS Profile
    sextiescouple

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    I would advise you to go. You don't have to play if you one of you doesn't want to.

    You're new, this will be a new experience, even if you don't play. You'll be pushing your boundaries, getting more comfortable. Just make sure you have code words before you start getting naked, and you both agree.

    A bottle of wine is always appreciated, as is a dish of cookies or something to munch on.


  18. #18

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    A party for couples who are relatively new to swinging is an opportunity to expand your experiences. You were given enough info that you knew ages. We all hope that a party is all attractive hot people. In reality it is just couples looking for a good time. Your wife hooked up with the host and she enjoyed him before. It just wasn’t new for her. You experienced new and you say you liked. On the whole I would call the night a win.

  19. #19
    Swingers Board Addict kellimc's Avatar
    Status
    Single Female

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    You should probably try to go to Meet N' Greets in your area. There are a lot in my area that have a large turnout, and they tend to have a wide variety of people there. People at house parties tend to be similar in most ways to the hosts.

    Jumping into the lifestyle by going to house parties can be hard and result in some bad experiences.

  20. #20

    Default Re: Invited to our first party

    If you are both open about it there should be no serious worrying. I was "worried" but happily in our first and second party. I did not know what to expect... essentially one guy told us.."OMG there will be a line of guys ready to please her"... and there was. She was quite reserved at first until things kind of broke open. Seeing her next to me a younger guy in between her legs inserting his cock at her request was super erotic while I was getting basically lap danced. Amazing... It is only natural to have that feeling.
    Quote Originally Posted by NoAngels View Post
    Tonight is the party. I wonít admit to my wife I am as nervous as she is. I am never nervous with a woman. Why am I nervous? I am taking a cialis just because. My wife said I should shave everything. Iíve never done that and she never asked. Iím thinking she has been with someone that did that. I never ask her about men she has met. She is worried about women even though I told her she just has to say she isnít interested. I wonít tell her how hot I think it would be. She is worried the men wonít want her. I laugh because I hope the other women are as good as her. I think I want her to enjoy more than I want for myself. Iíve only seen her with our hosts. It was one on one. We discussed how or if two men want her. She thinks that wonít happen. In my head all the men will want her. Why are we worrying?

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