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PebblesCanDo

Party hosting and being disappointed

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We cleaned up the house and added some ambiance, cleaned the pool and the hot tub and shopped for a nice dinner. The anticipation part is one of the highlights! We've had this night in the works for a few weeks and everything is perfect! It'a a special occasion and we bought them a cake. Dinner is marinating, music is on, we're be-bopping around getting ready for an unbelievable evening of great fun, we have a blast with these two!

 

Then at 2:00 in the afternoon we get the text, "We're not going to be able to make it today after all. He's sick and we kept hoping he'd get better, but no such luck." Included was a date when they would be available next. Our reply was simply, "OK, hope he feels better."

 

What would your reaction be?

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Just the same as you did. If these play partners have showed up reliably on all other occasions, they'll be OK for next week's get-together.

 

It has happened with us too. Think of it this way. Your pool is now clean and the carpets are all vacuumed.

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This is par for the course in the lifestyle. There must be a correlation between swinging and inability to keep a date. I am pretty open if other couple wants to reschedule. Just avoid those who are chronic no shows. We leave the burden on them to reschedule, in the event that they are trying to ditch us.

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We'd be disappointed, like you are when anything you are really looking forward to doesn't happen just like you thought it would, but not disappointed in the way that carries any negative feelings toward anyone since we know things happen. If this was a first meet with someone and they cancelled last minute, then that would be a strike against them, but for someone you know, then you just chalk it up as another example of how in life the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

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Life comes first: children, relationships, neighbors, work, car repairs, emergencies, sickness, etc...then play. We were on our way this weekend to go boating with the couple that we have been 'dating' for the last three years when we got a text from one of the kids about a 'small engine fire' up in the mountains ('small engine fire' is like 'a little bit pregnant', no such thing as a small fire). In the end, they were rescued by a tow truck and we went boating, but if needed, we would have had to rescue them and the other couple, while disappointed, would have understood.

 

That's life...

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Oh, that is disappointing, especially given the anticipation you were enjoying leading up to the evening. Assuming they are being honest, that's just one of those tough-luck things that happens sometimes.

 

Hopefully, the next date works out! And, as others have suggested, you've got a jump on things for the next time you host.

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you didnt say whether you two had played with the other couple before, just meet/greeted them before without playing, or just communicated with them. If you've never played with them before then they get a pass until the next scheduled time and chalk one no show up to "life-happens" especially if receiving a text from HER that HE is sick. Obviously these activities can't be struggled through while someone is sick - like sitting watching a graduation ceremony and enduring a party following.

 

If you've not met already, I gather/hope that you four have talked on the phone together or video chatted to absolutely verify that they are, in fact, a real couple.

 

If they bail next time (with or without a good reason) then I'd consider that they might need to host if they want to attempt to meet up a third time that way the pressure is on them to provide and plan ahead for the hotel or dinner at their home, etc.

 

If they're longer time, previous swinging friends, then you should understand their background and explanations.

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