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Rae and Lynn

Your experiences with interracial couples?

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Hi everyone! My wife who is African-American is brand new to swinging, that is, we went to a club last Friday night just to scout it out....she has never been exposed to the lifestyle before then...now she is very curious about the lifestyle....I am a white male who has been to clubs before....she would like to hear of experiences -- good or bad -- as well as any experiences with interracial couples such as us....we found no other black females and one black male last Friday....she would prefer white male (s).....any info would be helpful for her....thanks........

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We are an interracial couple--wife is Asian, husband is white. We have never encountered any prejudice, if that's what you mean. In five years in the lifestyle we have never seen race be an issue except in a positive way (i.e. some people tend to be attracted to races different from their own).

 

It's certainly true that the population of swingers tends to be overwhelmingly white, more so than the national population. Nevertheless, we have never known race to be an issue. Swingers seem to have other things on their minds...

 

Good luck to you and your wife.

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Both myself, black male, and my wife, white female have been in the lifestyle for over 5 years. We have never experienced any prejudiced in the lifestyle. We feel that most of the people are very open to different races although most in the the lifestyle are white. Being open minded is the key to it all.

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Been at it about 5-6 years. I'm black, she's brown (latin). I've been amazed at the lack of overt prejudice expressed here in the South. Given the intimacy of the lifestyle, I thought there would be more.

 

To say there is none is a lie. Some people don't want to talk, let alone play, for reasons of race. But they do the same with the tall, the obese, the short, the small titted and the big dicked. It's sex and it has to do with interpersonal chemistry and race definitely plays a part. But I guess that's the way it should be. This is the one place I can easily accept it.

 

At a hotel party, I was told of a fight out in the hall and the fact that security escorted a couple off the premises. Later, my friends told me it was my fault. Seems the woman came in our room and allowed me to pour her a glass of wine. I'm sure I was flirtateous but I certainly don't remember. Her husband became enraged, took her out in the hall and hit her because she's not supposed to be fooling around with black people. Back in the room, the party continued....

 

That's the worse racially motivated thing I was aware of - and it wasn't my problem!

 

It's all about feeling good about yourself, believing those around you are OK too, and enjoying those you are attracted to.

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Hi Bill. Unfortunately, there are A holes in every walk of life. Fortunately, to the extent of the example you listed they're few and far between. However, one guy at work told me a story from back in the '70's. He and some male friends walked into a bar in Boston, and immediately noticed they were the only white faces in there. All the other patrons were black, including the bartender, who informed them 'we don't serve white people in here'.

 

Guess racism is indeed colorblind.

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ray, my wife is hispanic and is 37 and i'm 38 (white). we both have never done any swinging. how did you convence your wife to explore this lifestyle.

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First, Rae is a lady and Lynn is the guy. I got her interested in swinging by showing her XXX movies and pointing out the threesome scenes, getting a tape about swinging and joining SwingersBoard and showing her all the message boards...then reinforcing it by stories from SwingersBoard, Literotica, and Erotic Stories. Then I took her to a swingers club just to look around. Then I took her a second time to the same club which had an hour orientation which we both got a lot out of. Then a third time to the same club as the first two times on a busy Saturday night and she saw enough hot sex to set her on fire and we had some great sex....now we are ready for our 4th visit to a different, bigger club with an very sexy outfit that she picked out herself on her own.

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Huh? Dan, what was your point? I respond to a question about interracial swinging and you cite some anecdote about white guys in a bar in the 70s. Yes, there are a-holes everywhere and racism is pervasive. But what does that add to a discussion of swinging?

 

I read one of your other posts... you seem to have a problem with society's treatment of non-white males versus white males like you. That's fine, but keep it to your self please.

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Well Bill, I'll explain it in finer detail for you. I have a problem with society treating any one particular group differently than others, positively or negatively. Does that make me a flaming racist in your mind, Bill?

 

Sorry if you took offense, but I believe I'll share whatever opinions in here I damn well feel like, Bill. Or do you have a problem with the first Amendment as well?

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I'm a widower who started in the lifestyle w/late wife almost 14 years ago and thought I'd add my two cents...

 

I think racism is still alive and well within the lifestyle, although I think most of it has a male/male focus.....don't think your wife will run into any problems, as those who feel that way are usually up front about it.

 

I've gotten into some insightful conversations around the fact that I've 'conditioned' myself to introduce myself as a Black man in order to put it on the table early...worst experience was when I called an 'adult' motel in TN (we were on the road, saw an ad and feeling risque), told them we were Black...when I walked into the lobby, the three naked folks in the hot tub (2f, 1m)started bitching about "no N*****s allowed and shooting any that tried"...the irony... considering their obesity, they did me/us a favor.

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Well I don't know about in other relationships, but I know in mine race does not matter. As a matter of fact, my wife would like to get a black man in bed just to say she did. And I personally think it would be interesting to screw a woman from every ethnicity :lol:

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Originally posted by 21mfmarried

As a matter of fact, my wife would like to get a black man in bed just to say she did. And I personally think it would be interesting to screw a woman from every ethnicity :lol:

 

:rofl: Now that is a healthy sexual attitude, which I am sure spills over into your non-sexual lives! Can you imagine a world in which race does not matter?

 

Two Thumbs Up Here!!!

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As I have said in other posts, I always try to look at the very best side of things,and keep a light heart about it all. Life is to short to just bitch about everything and hate people. Especially because they have a different color of skin. Its like hating me for wearing a blue coat when you have a red one on. To me, it all sounds stupid. :lol:

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We have been to a number of clubs in the states and around the world and have only had a problem in France for some reason,but after talking to a french guy on the net he says that is a problem at some so called high class clubs,but after I wrote the owner and he wrote back it seems like he was going to take action.The only person I would look out for is Dan from the earlier posts because he is pissed at minority folks since we get so many imaginary freebies.

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It is a shame that people would give you troubles at clubs, but it is VERY good to hear that after you called the club owner that he was gonna take action. It shows that everybody is not a bad person! :D

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Did anyone else catch the irony of a Canadian invoking the First Amendment?

 

In any event, as a black male/white female couple living in Denver we have found race to be a negative issue, but not in the way you typically might think. Our problem is that many couples want to play with us precisely because Greg is black. It seems that there are many white couples in our area who have strong fantasies about the wife having sex with black men. On several occasions when we have been with white couples, the husband is so focused on watching his wife with Greg that he hardly pays any attention to Sheryl!

 

Now when we meet new couples who happen to be white, we try to find out if they are colorblind in their relationships. If they are too much “into” interracial sex, we don’t play with them. This is why we especially like to seek out interracial couples, because they are less likely to regard interracial sex as a fetish. We would also enjoy meeting black couples, but they appear to be non-existent in the Denver swing scene. Every local black male we know in the lifestyle is married to a white, Hispanic or Asian female.

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Guess it's all on where you are at. We are about half way between Philidelphia and Baltimore. Baltimore is 67% African American. If you are looking for a brother or a sister- taint too much of a problem.

 

My wife of almost 20 years is Hispanic, I'm white.

 

What we really need around here are more Asians :)

 

I drink a toast to "doing" all nationalities!!

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We were fortunate enough to have a very pleasant experience with a mixed couple (While Male/Black Female) several years ago. They were divorced soon after. (He told us he didn't squeeze the tooth paste properly.) She moved back to North Carolina. We're still friends with them, and they with each other, but we see him a lot more often. He lives a lot closer.

 

We've never been to a club so we can't advise on the situation there, but we think the average play couple is more worldly, more intelligent and definitely more adventurous than the average couple you might meet in church. Perhaps that could explain the low incidence of prejudice in the lifestyle.

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Guest santondra

We are both afro-americans but we have not been to any clubs as of she is shy but we have been with couples before and it was great.

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I'm sure racism is still there- when ever I see WMC (white married couple) in a profile I see it at least superficialy. But I agree, I think that it exists at a lower level with this crowd. But I'm a white male. So my perceptions are different than those of differing races.

 

I AM curious as to what our sisters and brothers of other colors believe. Is the swinging crowd more open minded to race? Or is it same old shit, different clique?

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I think that many people fantasize about having fun to be clean about it, with people of another background. But to prove a point, one think you might have noticed is that I did not say race, because that is a different issue.

 

We are all of the human race. Pure and simple, a female whether black or white or whatever, still has the same plumbing. Same thing with males. If we all walked around with just muscles and organs showing you would not be able to tell a difference.

 

But many of us do come from different backgrounds which is what makes everyone of us unique. To be honest, I am quite tired of the whole issue. When it comes to getting a job, that question should not be asked. It should be based upon the person applying for the position. For example: University of Michigan gave more points towards attaining admission if you were a minority, then they did if you got a perfect SAT score. I know many would say that I only say this because I am a white male, but this is not true. Many believe that white males have it better, and I tell you that many white males believe the opposite.

 

I am just really sick of the whole issue and wish that we would evolve past this point in our pathetic attempts to show who is a better person. We are all equal so just accept it and move on with your life.

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The party I went to this past March I didn't see any black couples there. I seen one spanish couple and there was an interracial couple too. The woman was black and the male was white. The hostess at the party dates black men (Her ex. deejays the parties and he's black). I'm glad to say I didn't encounter any acts of racism in the lifestyle. Why couples of color aren't as out front as their white counterparts could have a lot to do with norms and social morays or the region where one lives. Then again, I'm just speculating.

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I am a member of the ever illusive interracial couple group. He's black and I'm white. We have been to several clubs here in Oklahoma and I have only run into one unfortunate racial incident. For the most part we have problems with a lot of the ladies we are interested in are part of a white couple. Which puts me out of luck! LOL If it wasn't for that my husband would wear his business out. :fun: We have seen other interracial couples but they are usually already with another couple so we are out of luck again! But we keep going to the parties if for nothing else we love the atmosphere. We are pretty new to the lifestyle, but we feel right at home in the clubs. So my suggestion about the clubs is just take it slow, just enjoy the dancing, laughter and the great friends you will make.

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Originally posted by chameleoneyes02

For the most part we have problems with a lot of the ladies we are interested in are part of a white couple. Which puts me out of luck!

 

Why does that put you our of luck, Chameleoneyes? Do y'all hope to meet another interracial couple with a black male/white female? Do you find white couples unreceptive?

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I see, Chameleoneyes. I have a Caucasian male friend who has a similar problem. Although one would have to say he's "bi-racial," in that he does date white women, his preference runs heavily toward black ladies. We've discussed this at length and he's as mystified as anyone else as to what the reason might be. He comes from a family that has had many interracial marriages. Consequently he has as many black relatives as white ones. He wonders if this may be the reason for his tastes but the truth is he has no idea. He's a great guy, by the way.

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As long as I can remember I have always been attracted to white men. I have been in relationships with white men, but always came back to black men. We have many cultures in my family as well. Native American, Hispanic, Black and White. So I guess no one can really explain why people attract to the people they do.

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If someone has been able to explain personal tastes, we've not met them yet. You go girl!

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We're an inter-racial couple in Delaware and it's nice to see that there are so many others out there (though we don't don't know how many there are in the Philly/Baltimore area).

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I had a couple respond to my add stating " Would like to meet with you, because we have never played with a black person before."

I asked what were their expectations of playing with a black female, and their response was "I heard they like to f**k for hours and never get sore." This was a new one one me. I never bothered responding back.

 

In an ideal world we would not see color when we look at each other, but it's not, and we do. This I have accepted long ago.

What really bother me is when expectation are placed on me because of my color.

 

Just for the record, all black men dont have big ones :).

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Our last "party" was with an African-American couple. It was a very nice time. We have partied with his wife before and knew she was a positive person. We enjoy good company above most things. The party is just something extra and very good at times :8-0::

 

Someone did mention racism. Just somebody's opinion, unless it is negatively acted on just like anything else. And unfortunately I have heard and seen negative opinions even in the lifestyle, though it is rare.

 

Can't we all just fuck? :D

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I personally believe that some of the things people say or do as far as race goes has a lot to do with their upbringing and their mindset. From my experience I could usually tell when someone is uncomfortable being around people of color (especially in groups). There are still some whites who haven't grown up or been around too many people of color so it's a whole new experience.

 

Now I can usually pick up when someone is uncomfortable because they either have the tendency to say something off-color or act insecure. It would be really nice if people just see the character and not the color but apparently that's not a reality yet. When I'm in situations where people tend ask a lot of race-related questions ( depending on how and what they ask) my first impulse is to turn the spotlight on them and find out where they are coming from and where they are going with it. To me, that separates the ignorant from the intelligent. Now as far as swinging parties, clubs and bars, conversations like that are off limits. I check my political and religious beliefs at the front door.

 

 

I wish a lot of people would do the same, but to each its own, I suppose.

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Well I guess it depends what type of club you go to.... We are lucky we live I the bayarea where there is a diverse culture here. Now last week we were in Chicago at a swingers club and felt uncomfortable by the looks that we were getting from white male's, but we still had a great time and and their wives too. (if you know what I mean) :D

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I had the prettiest little black girlfriend that existed for a while. She would take me to the clubs in Detroit....with her good looking sister....they would let us get ahead of the line for a 20.00 bill because I was a white guy with two good looking black girls. I was treated with real respect in the black clubs.

 

When we went to the down home white bars, people would be totally rude. Obnoxious to the point of actually getting into a physical fight once.

 

I wonder why that is.

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My wife is Asian and I am Black. We've experienced no negative problems in the lifestyle (so far - 6 years and counting). But we do find that a lot of people want to be with us because they have Asian female or Black male fantasies.

 

At least it's a good icebreaker! :)

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Originally posted by BiloxiCouple

Our last "party" was with an African-American couple. It was a very nice time. We have partied with his wife before and knew she was a positive person. We enjoy good company above most things. The party is just something extra and very good at times :8-0::

 

Someone did mention racism. Just somebody's opinion, unless it is negatively acted on just like anything else. And unfortunately I have heard and seen negative opinions even in the lifestyle, though it is rare.

 

Can't we all just fuck? :D

 

Damn.....I like your attitude!!! I know I am looking y'all up when we come to town!!

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Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN

I had the prettiest little black girlfriend that existed for a while. She would take me to the clubs in Detroit....with her good looking sister....they would let us get ahead of the line for a 20.00 bill because I was a white guy with two good looking black girls. I was treated with real respect in the black clubs.

 

When we went to the down home white bars, people would be totally rude. Obnoxious to the point of actually getting into a physical fight once.

 

I wonder why that is.

 

I think why would be "down home"......come on John, you know how the south is!!!! It's ain't right, but it's the way it is.

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Originally posted by Couple_DFW

I think why would be "down home"......come on John, you know how the south is!!!! It's ain't right, but it's the way it is.

 

Actually this was in Michigan. The small cities in Michigan are called michitucky...or michiganasee...

 

Ya I do know how it is. I am the type of person that responds to it though. I stopped on the way home recently at a local bar. The men in the bar were using the word nigger left and right. I happen to be darker than some people but there is no way you would think I am black. I told them I was black though. I said I happen to have a black mother and you are way out of line by talking like that in front of me.

 

I left the place. Next time I went in there, I was greeted like I was a congressman or something. I suppose that I should be a good ole boy and not respond but I find it disturbing. On the other hand I should stand up on my own two feet and say it the way I see it instead of claiming to be a black boy.

 

When you are in the situation of hearing racial slurs said so everyone in the establishment can hear them it can get your blood to boil if you are like me. I was better off by not saying what I wanted to, because I could have jeopardized my life by getting into a physical fight.

 

The way I see it is like this. The same people that say racial discrimination doesn't take place are the most likely to be rabble rousing about niggers. Any white person that goes to any bar that is country oriented knows exactly what I am talking about. Even if you don't pitch in you are subjected to having an attitude if you even attempt to stop them.

 

Recently one of my kids friends came over and asked me if I minded nigger jokes. I told him, that not only do I mind them but I think that wanting to repeat them indicates that maybe you have some security issues. Maybe you need to have someone below you to pick on because you feel pretty bad about yourself.

 

He hasn't come over again, nor have his parents, whom were friends even called me.

 

To say racism doesn't exist is ridiculous. To promote or condone it is downright hostile.

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Interestingly, the word "fag" seems to have more play in my kids' school. Regardless, racism, ageism, sexism, etc. have NO place in my house hold...and my kids know and more importantly Believe it.

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Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN

Actually this was in Michigan. The small cities in michigan are called michitucky...or michiganasee...

 

I couldn't agree more. I grew up in a household where racial slurs were an everyday occurrence. I hated it then and I hate it now.

 

The so called "older generation" doesn't have a clue. I'm sure my daddy is rolling in his grave about right now! He use to tell me that there just might be some nice black folks out there, but he just wasn't going to look very far to see. I never understood that....the only difference is skin color. As dark as I get in the summer, I have been mistaken for a black woman before. I can understand what you were talking about.

 

As far as that horrid "N" word goes...there are white ones too. I prefer the phrase "trashy people". I'm sure that would upset some but what do I care? They certainly don't care when using the other.

 

To quote a good friend of mine..."Can't we just all get along"?

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My father was very racist. I remember occasions when he would get cut off in traffic by a black man. He would pull up to his car, shout obscenities and take off his belt, and actually threateningly hold it up and wave it at them. My mother was mortified by this. He was indeed from the old school, but my generation was fortunately exposed to the likes of MLK and LBJ, who in my opinion were amongst the greatest civil rights leaders in history.

 

Even though dad was racist, he was just living out his beliefs. We are all somewhat a product of our environment and it is up to future generations to improve conditions and not tolerate injustices. One of the biggest injustices that exists today is the treatment of our elderly.

 

The family unit has changed dramatically and many adult kids treat the old folks like pieces of trash. Nursing homes are full of great people with families that don't even visit them. Our greed forces many elderly to choose between medication and food, or appropriate housing. I am sure as the boomer generation grows old this issue will be one that is addressed much more intensely. We all need to remember that we will grow old one day hopefully, and treat elders as we will wish to be treated. If I ever get old it is my responsibility to plan financially so as to not be a burden on them, but I would hope they wouldn't abandon me as I see so many do.

 

Have a great fourth everyone,

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Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN

If I ever get old it is my responsibility to plan financially so as to not be a burden on them...

 

This might be hard to do, John. I heard a statistic recently that more than 50% (You might want to check out my figures.) of elderly Americans spend their entire life's savings on their last illness. Until something is done to rein in the insurance industry and make health care and prescription drugs affordable for the entire population, the problem will only worsen as "baby boomers" join the ranks fo the elderly.

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It has been a while since I last posted, been busy. I do have to say that in the whole racial issues, it is not just on the whites. I know that a few years back (yeah, I know, shut up young un) when I was in high school. The people themselves for the most part segregated themselves. In the lunch room it was usually large tables of whites over here and blacks over here. Then there were the spotters here and there that mingled.

 

I got called lots of names that were not racially nice by black people, and just got called names by white people(during times of a fight, not just cause I was a idiot or something). But what I am saying is that racism thrives very well in this country and shows no signs of dying. There are your hard core "look what my ancestors went through" blacks, and the hard core "bring back the slavery and segregation" whites. But mostly there are just people. People that don't care whether your white or black, your just you. People just see the others and think that is the way things are because they are the loud ones. The ones that want fights, and black power, and white power. And the rest of us just say, "..............." nothing. That is what makes it worse. North, south, east, west, that's how it is. So in the great words of a previous post:

 

Can't we all just fuck? :kiss::fun::rofl:

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It's funny

 

My wife and I are white but have had more enjoyment with interracial couples and black couples than many white couples at clubs.

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I decided a long time ago, if my wife ever left me. I wanted to get with a woman from every ethnicity. :) I like to think of myself as a Trisexual, I will try anything once.

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On 6/2/2003 at 12:19 AM, Nymph an' Satyr said:

I'm sure racism is still there- when ever I see WMC (white married couple) in a profile I see it at least superficialy. But I agree, I think that it exists at a lower level with this crowd. But I'm a white male. So my perceptions are different than those of differing races.

 

I AM curious as to what our sisters and brothers of other colors believe. Is the swinging crowd more open minded to race? Or is it same old shit, different clique?

Racism is alive and Kickin, and I don’t see any change in the future.

 

My wife and I were in Louisiana and we decided to go dancing in a vanilla club. Remind you my wife is Slavic Russian dissent and I am Native American and black. We had a old man come up to us while we were dancing on the floor having a great time, this old man pulled my arm toward him as he was standing next to me and said we don’t do that shit around here, i then stated what shit? He said you dancing with this white girl and I laughed in his face. I then said, I can dance with my wife? Then my wife heard the conversation and she blurted out loudly to him over the music. I can’t believe my husband has to protect people like you and give you the right to look down on him. This man didn’t like the accent of my wife and then he said we don’t like people like you who talk like you do. So immediately out of anger my wife started speaking Russian.

 

I was thinking, should I punch this old man’s clock. Should I cash his ticket in and bring him into the world of hurt? Should I just slap him and disrespect him as a man because I decided not to punch him.

 

And I thought of a joke that I heard while I was in Louisiana. Soon after the old man sat down with his son  and the club is not too far from closing. I have to get a loan stares from the old man and his son watching me and my wife continue to dance. Another buddy of mine that was on duty came out to the bar in his BDU uniform. He came over to us and started talking and laughing and joking with us. I told her what happened and he looked over at this old man and I said hey, stay here next to my wife. I walked over to the old man at the table he was sitting with his son and I repeated that joke. (What is the first thing your daughter said after her first time of having sex? Get off me daddy you’re crushing my cigarettes) Oh man get all right in the face and the son jumped up. I immediately stood my ground and my buddy came over. And that old man had the nerve to say to my buddy who is white/Caucasian, how in the hell can you stand next to this N-word? My buddy who was also in the SOF, looked at him and said i am more his brother than both of you would ever be. 
 

I can say I have been treated better in Europe have in the United States. I have never been stopped and asked where are you going boy, in Europe. I have never been told that you fit the description in Europe. Racism is pure form is stupidity. But don’t be surprised that a lot of racism is in the military. Mainly from Caucasians from the south that join the military. They all seem to gather in one unit where they have a Lotta control. Military police. Shall I say they never adventure out side of the base for fear of retaliation. Racism of any kind from (anyone) is pure Cowardice behavior. 
 

Just my two cents

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We hosted parties for many years as well as fantasy parties/events.  Our gathers had a mix of people, ethnicities, body types, experienced and not so experienced.  Mostly Caucasian but some Latino, Asian, brown and darker skin males and females.  All were welcome.  We had several attendees who were here on work visas….Rhodesia, Brazil, Mexico, Germany, England, Canada and Jamaica.
 

We never had any issues at all.  Everyone played well together.  Most all played in an open room group setting.  We had one semi private room with a twin bed that rarely got used.  If you were sexually adventurous, had oral talents and working sex organs and a good sense humor you played well and often at our parties.
 

I do not remember ever being asked to set up any “thrill seeking” or set a special physique, body type or color.  Never had any complaints.

 

I think they way we operated only those interested in open adult sex play would attend to begin with and not have many or any reservations.  It just wasn’t our atmosphere.

 

I’m not naive and know, witnessed and experience blatant mean and disgusting bigotry and racism.  I recognize it even when someone is trying to gloss it over as something else.  

 

I have not experienced it at any of the many parties we have attended over the years.  I’m sure it has happened and does now and again…..just not in our experience.

 

I personally have major issues with ignorant assholes.  As such I can usually spot them and they just do not get invited.

 

so lucky or not we just had fun loving people who greatly enjoyed treating sex play as a great adult extracurricular activity.   
 

playing well with whoever might be next to you

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We are a white couple. We have played with black couples, white/Asian couples, Hispanic couples, other combos.  Great experiences with all. We have not seen or experienced bias in the lifestyle, although I am sure it exists. Some people are just not interested in us, doubtful it has to do with our ethnicity. 

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18 hours ago, njbm said:

We are a white couple. We have played with black couples, white/Asian couples, Hispanic couples, other combos.  Great experiences with all. We have not seen or experienced bias in the lifestyle, although I am sure it exists. Some people are just not interested in us, doubtful it has to do with our ethnicity. 

My wife is blue eyed and blonde hair and and fair skinned I'm pretty sure she can sun burn under a 60 watt light bulb! I look Hispanic the more sun the darker I get. I speak Spanish and a couple other languages (besides English LoL). We have never experienced bias in the LS either. 

 

Actually the only thing we have ever noticed is the large number of people that are homophobic.  

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