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illteachu

Are there other African American Swingers?

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Hello all. I have a question that is somewhat uncomfortable for me to ask because 1) it shows my lack of knowledge of the whole swingers lifestyle and 2) I don't want to offend anyone, but here it goes. My boyfriend and I are African American and we are new to the swinger lifestyle. We have not been to any clubs, and this is the first time that we registered with a web site. All the pictures that I have seen have been people of "other" ethnicities than ours. We have no problem with swinging outside of our race, but is their room for us in this world???

 

:o

 

Please only reply if you can help...not ready to get blasted just yet. :)

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I have been on this site for a month now ... reading posts twice a day at least .. and I haven't noticed race be a topic or issue at all. I think that it HASN'T been mentioned is very lovely. It shows that it is a non-topic. Hopefully you'll find it a non-topic too.

 

And welcome to the site :)

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My boyfriend is Afrian American and I am white. We would (and many others on the board as well) would have no problem with it. There are other multi-racial couples on the board. I think you will find it to be a non-issue.

 

However, you will find people that do not want to play with you, but that doesn't mean that they're racists. Some people just don't find other ethnicities attractive. But there will be plenty of people who wont care if you're black or white or purple. Right Spoo? ;)

 

In general, we're a pretty open bunch.

 

By the way, Welcome

Enjoy

 

~SS

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And by the way, don't feel uncomfortable about asking anything on here. We're a friendly group. I think that you'll find a lot of the people here give some great advice, so take a look around and let us know how it goes.

 

Glad to have you here.

 

~SS

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I can not answer for the clubs in your area but the Two real clubs in Las Vegas will have not problem with you at all. Also at the convention you will find a great mix of people there. It does not matter, we are all there for the same reason.

 

Yes, there will be some that won't play with you but don't worry about it, there is 1000's more that will. Hell, there is many that won't play with me! :lol: I never worry about it, one more NO means I am closer to a YES! :D

 

Have a great time in the lifestyle.

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I never worry about it, one more NO means I am closer to a YES! :D

 

That's a great way of looking at things. I like that line. I'm going to remember that in the future!

Thanks for the words of wisdom

 

~SS

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Please only reply if you can help

 

Welcome

 

I've grown weary of hearing myself talk but I have some things to share with you I think you'll find of benefit... I hope!

 

My momma raised me to respect people. She taught by example. White, black or whatever. However, I think sexual attraction can be somewhat habituated due to our early experiences. Out of a graduating class of about 2,000, there was one black guy in my entire high school. There was virtually no diversity during my formative years, I'm not often sexually attracted (not to be confused with the fact that people of every color are so beautiful in so many ways! But it doesn't make my sexual engines crank up) to people of other races. (I would very much like to make an exception in Denzel Washington's case facelick )

 

In observing racial hatred once in an outside setting watching a white man approach a mixed couple and interject invectives, at about the age of 14 or 15, I decided that life and love was complicated enough without butt-inskies, and why would I want to add that complication to my life? So mixed race lovin seemed way to complicated.

 

Last year I was seeing someone who had this lifestyle on their mind and this was his take on race:

 

"I'm a guy, we don't care, women of all races are beautiful"

 

he also said this: "all it takes is a smile to get me going"

 

(gotta love an easy man)

 

With the advent of violent, denigrating and miscegynist rap music and its portrayal of women as whores, and the overwhelming acceptance of it and it being so thoroughly a part of "black culture" I'm - personally - unable to be even remotely interested in someone who listens to that - uh, stuff. But that's just me. There are women who like it. :confused:

 

ANyway, people will bring a lot of baggage with them wherever you meet them. So be prepared. And the female of your party is likely to need nothing more than a smile apparently! But, the male of your party may not find it that easy to get his groove on.

 

Forgetting the most recent thing that made me take some thought on it as well. Black men are the highest crossover between the homosexual and straight lifestyle and a harbinger of aids. This from the CDC, so flame me not.

 

so many issues!!! I dislike hatred, but my choices don't involve that as I explained. Younger people who've had opportunities to grow up in much more diverse environment are much more exepting of interrelations! So don't take it always as hatred. I'm habituated. I'm an old dog. That's all.

 

If you have the attractive card to play your chances will be very good too. We always make choices on appearances whether we want to admit it or not. I have ugly friends but I don't want to do ugly! I AM shallow! In shape or fat? These are things that people will discriminate against as well.

 

good luck! I hope you'll be fortunate to come across good people!

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Hi teachU, Welcome to the board!

 

Disclaimer: I've got a glass & 1/2 of chardonnay into me, so if I seem a little goofy in this post, please excuse me. :D

 

Like most folks have said already, you'll find that there is plenty of room in the lifestyle for you. The more the merrier, right? ;) You will, of course, find couples/singles who do not prefer other races, but that doesn't necessarily imply that they are racist. It's just not their thing. For some, though, like myself, the visual contrast of skin tones and exoticness of those cultural differences is very erotic. No worries. :) Don't be discouraged by others who turn you down; there are just as many out there who won't. Good luck!

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We are a white/mixed race couple and like people of all colors, especially people with dark skin, so I'd definately say that the swinging community is lucky and happy to have you cumming aboard.

 

Also, you don't have to worry about getting blasted, the folks here are really friendly and helpful. It's okay to ask questions.

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Just now I read the question, I realize how much of non-issue race is in this board (race isn't an issue in my country, so I am not used to think of things from the racial perspective).

 

But when reading this, I noticed something about the board itself that I didn't before: the colors chosen in the web page design, since they resemble the broad range of skin color most Americans have, shades of pink and brown. I'd have to ask Julie if this was a deliberated choice, since regarding to this thread, it seems to fit very well with the board spirit.

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Hi just1gurl,

I thought your post was very well written. You expressed yourself and the way you feel without being negative towards others. So I don't think you are shallow as you mentioned at the end of your post. Not that shallow should be a putdown. God didn't create everyone to be deep, just as He didn't create everyone to want a lot of sex.

No one can be all things to all people. So we shouldn't put down people that can't be. There is a lot of talk about diversity but I often fine people aren't willing to accept diversity even if they talk it. There is some group that they can't accept. For example, as a recent Creationist, I find some people that believe in evolution have a real problem with what I beleive. There clearly is a trick too accepting people with whom we disagree.

just1girl, I think you did a great job saying your not sexually attracted to everyone, but that's not out of an inherant nagative feeling toward them.

 

LeeVegas' one more NO means I am closer to a YES! can really help a person have a good attitude I think.

 

thanks, reading posts like these help me have the right attitude.

dayhiker

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But when reading this, I noticed something about the board itself that I didn't before: the colors chosen in the web page design, since they resemble the broad range of skin color most Americans have, shades of pink and brown. I'd have to ask Julie if this was a deliberated choice, since regarding to this thread, it seems to fit very well with the board spirit.

 

Pink and brown isn't that the colors of sex world wide? ;)

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Pink and brown isn't that the colors of sex world wide? ;)

 

I didn't knew sex had a color (except when I catch mine with the zipper, then I see stars with the entire spectrum). At lease here we don't. I should ask around.

 

Poor me, thinking I made some important discovery here :(

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Thank you to all who replied, I feel much better. Your comments have been very helpful and comforting, and well put. My boyfriend and I are going to our first club next weekend. Can't wait to get back and tell of all the adventures that we had. "...one step closer to a yes." My ex used to say that all the time. You are absolutely correct.

 

Thanks again. :)

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Welcome to the board Illteachu. In most all cases race is not even a consideration, and with most of the people I know the variety is considered erotic and exciting. If anything, there is a lack of African-American women swingers in our area. :( You'd be very popular.

 

Mr. WS

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Thank you to all who replied, I feel much better. Your comments have been very helpful and comforting, and well put. My boyfriend and I are going to our first club next weekend. Can't wait to get back and tell of all the adventures that we had. "...one step closer to a yes." My ex used to say that all the time. You are absolutely correct.

 

Thanks again. :)

 

Jumping in on the tail end here but I have to Dito a lot that was said. I think you'll find many people in the lifestyle from many different ethnic backgrounds. Our local club has a good mix and everyone has a great time. Of course like someone else said play is based on attraction and that doesn't always have anything to do with what color you are...hey I'm married to a purple monkey :D what does that tell you :lol:

 

Anyway I want to throw in a Welcome to the board and please do come back and tell us how your first visit to the club went.

 

Mrs Spoomonkey

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It's a shame ya'll are near Atlanta, we have a growing group here in the Savannah area, we get together as often as possible, and we've got about every color in the book (get Kat on an interesting night and get a few not in the book)

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hi there i would just like to say that after reading some but not all of the replays you have to admit that everyone here is of the same openion you just need to do it with an open mind

afterall rember this

"IF YOU KEEP DOING THE THINGS YOU HAVE BEEN DOING YOU KEEP GETTING THE RESULTS YOU HAVE BEEN GETTING SO IF YOU WANT TO CHANG SOME THINGS IN YOUR LIFE YOU GOT TO CHANGE SOME THINGE IN YOUR LIFE"

good luck with what ever you deside to do but just don't give up on your dreams of a better life

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hi all,

i would like to interject my opinion to this thread. i and my girlfriend are both black. we live in northern VA and have run into alot of racial stereotypes trying to get in the lifestyle. ESPECIALLY on Swing Lifestyle which is advertised on this site. i mean blatant and subtle stereotypes. which to me is a silly topic to even have to write about in 2006. but hey, what can i do??? i can't force them to change their opinions. if i had to quantify my experiences, id say of all the racial stereotypes i have seen on SLS 80% were by caucasions, 10% black, and 10% would be by latinos.

it is refreshing to be able to mingle in a place with people of different ethnicities sharing common practices. i wish i could get that word out to all the biggots. i guess no one likes rejection, i certainly am no different. i just want to say good luck to you and hopefully you find an answer to your uncomfortable question.

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Welcome to the board first off!! And with us race really isnt an issue. We are both white but alot of our playmates have been of other races. To us race is just a different color we are all the same otherwise. You will find those that wont play with anyone but their own but, just look at it as their loss not yours. Dont let other peoples problems bother you because I will bet you will find alot more that dont have issues with race and well,,,,,they are probably alot more fun than those that still have their head in the sand!! Just look at MRS. Spoo...she plays with purple monkeys and is just as happy as can be!! lol Best of luck to you guys and looking forward to hearing more from you!!!

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You will find those that wont play with anyone but their own but, just look at it as their loss not yours. Dont let other peoples problems bother you because I will bet you will find alot more that dont have issues with race and well,,,,,they are probably alot more fun than those that still have their head in the sand!!

As an African-American Man, I'll have to say that I agree with most of the comments offered here, that, for the most part, those in this lifestyle don't tend to be racists.

But, don't let that cause you to expect never to encounter those who are, though, because, living here in Oklahoma, let me tell you, there are a significant number who are, and, ain't the least bit ashamed to let you know about it, either!

But, again, you're grown people, and, you've experienced racism before, in your lives----the majority of the folks in the lifestyle are really good people, and, should you have the misfortune of encountering the trash, do as you've done before: consider the source, count yourself lucky, for having not wasted too much of your time, and, appreciate that so many of the others are so much better people than that!

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Some will some won't and when they won't it's their loss. We have been in the lifestyle 6 years now and have never seen race be an issue. We attend a number of clubs and lifestyle events and have know (and we mean know) a couples of many races including black and mixed race couples. Hey how much fun would this be if everyone was the same as we are, its the differences that add flavor to life.

 

Wish you were closer and we would show you.

 

Steve & Terri

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Mrs DD and I are a white couple. We met a black couple at a swinger party about 3 years ago. We were attracted to each other and the chemistry was right so we all hooked up. No problems. Later, after two or three more hook-ups, they invited me solo over to their house to play. The Mrs. wanted a MFM, so, with my wife's blessing, I went.

 

While there I noticed a copy of the Koran on their mantle. This was about, what, 12-18 months after 9/11. When asked, they said that, yes, they were Muslim. Still no problem for me or my wife. They said that they don't bring it up anymore when getting together with others because they have been the target of a lot of hatred. Mind you, he is in the U.S. Air Force and she is a sweet, wonderful person. This all took place near Richmond, VA (the capital of the Confederacy) and still boggles the mind. head bang

 

I know that I have been the target of small minded people because of my religion. (She said that she couldn't work with someone who wasn't a christian, so she quit the job. ) For the majority of swingers I've known, race and religion aren't an issue. Only what you are carrying between your legs and between your ears.

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Just want to say there are all kinds out there. Browse sls and you see so many things people do NOTwant it can make your head spin.

 

Example - (If you are a member of the "Insert Republican or Democratic here" party then just move on to someone else.)

 

It cracks me up. Anyway, one thing about these boards, if you ask Any type of question without ranting or going off the deep end you will get a lot of good, sane, and sound replys.

 

I use the same credo in swing clubs as I do anywhere else -

Treat everyone with respect until they no longer deserve it.

 

 

Good luck in your adventures

 

Mr Lol_omg

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personally i think it was a great question...

 

i am firmly convinced it only depends on the attraction of two people to one another regardless of anything else

 

i am white and in the last couple of years have had great sex with a few ladies of a different ethnic background to my own..... but it was the person that attracted me first and the frantic passion of ripping clothes off came after.

 

hope u get to enjoy some good swinging with some nice people of whatever colour

 

DMx

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