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daisy girl

Swingers without children

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Just a quick thought...I am wondering if swingers without children have a different experience swinging than those with children. I don't mean better or worse...I just mean different. Thoughts???

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I don't have kids... but I can't think of what any difference might be. Do you have a hypothesis you'd like to share?

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Well the difference may be the fact that they are young? Gotta send them to a sitter? or maybe they are old enough to sense the fact that you are actively seeking outside sex? what are the conditions?

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We are 3 yrs together, 2 yrs married and nearly 2yrs swingers.. For the first year married and swinging, my then 19 yr old daughter lived with us. It was a constant struggle to figure out her plans for the night or weekend... she is a real socialite and party-girl :eek: , but also level-headed, so would come home if she weren't comfortable at a party someplace (because of things that might be happening that she thought weren't good... that is her level-headedness at work) :cool:

 

I'm sure she wondered where all the "new friends" were coming from, but since Mr Jeep and I hadn't been married that long, we always said they were his friends that she hadn't met yet :rollseyes We had new friends over one night, just chatting in the living room, and she came downstairs, leaving for a date in too long pants... and the female of the other couple got on the floor and quickly hemmed her pants :kissface: , cause "Mom doesn't know how to do that"

 

Now, she is in college, living on campus, and life is very different... we don't have to worry about leaving our clothes in a pile in the livingroom overnight, or the Nude Only sign on the door to the hot-tub, or walking around nekkid during the day in the house...

 

Life without kids is good :D

 

V

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Having kids limits your play opportunity. No doubt about it. On the other hand, male slut that I am, maybe that is a GOOD thing. A kid in a candy store, left unchecked, soon gets a bellyache! :)

 

Chip

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Also something to think about with my situation.

I am a single mother who has to deal with a shit head of an ex husband. I know if he found out about the lifestyle he would use it against me. :mad:

I have to be careful, little ears hear way to much.

And of course there is the making plans around their fathers weekends. He isn't the most relieable for keeping his word. I have heard can we switch weekends to many times for my liking.

Anyway different rant for a different thread.

Your friend,

Prettylady :kissface:

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The part about having kids and being in the lifestyle that gets me is that we can't entertain. They very rarely go away overnight.

 

Another thing I have to be careful of is how I dress when I'm getting ready to go to the club. My 7yo likes me dressing all "girlie", but some of my outfits are a little out there to show!

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Being that some of us are what's being called the "Sandwich Generation" - caring for both kids and parents at the same time... what are your thoughts about the elder generation, if they are living with you??

 

My dad lived with us for a few months, in between houses. I remember going out one night, in an outfit not befitting either a parent or child's eyes. The weather was perfect for a trench-coat though :D

 

Parents will always be just that..."Stayed out all night again, huh?? You should have called, I was worried sick about you two..." :nono:

 

V

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we have been on both sides of this. several years with kids at home and now as emptynesters. now we don't have coordinate our social life around their activities. we answer only to ourselves.

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NO kids here and loving it.

 

its a very different experience for us as we can be very spontaneous compared to coupels with kids. we dont mind and understand completely though

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I can sum up the difference in a situation with friends of ours when we visited them for the weekend and their kids were away. We played, using various toys and tossing condom wrappers in the livingroom. It was late, so we went upstairs to bed immediately after. The next morning, our friend comes downstairs and sees the dildos, etc lying about. She said, 'ah, this is what it's like not to have kids.'

 

Since we're childless, we're a lot more flexible with time for play and where we can entertain.

 

Pepper

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The part about having kids and being in the lifestyle that gets me is that we can't entertain. They very rarely go away overnight.

 

Another thing I have to be careful of is how I dress when I'm getting ready to go to the club. My 7yo likes me dressing all "girlie", but some of my outfits are a little out there to show!

 

Dito ...I have two children and when I am able to get out I have to watch how I dress and almost always lie about where Im going .

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No kids and have often found it works best to swing with others without kids simply because people who have kids typically have much more limited schedules. It's already hard enough to make schedules match but when you are dealing with people who have kids and trying to find a sitter, etc it just makes it harder.

 

The other thing that really stands out was a couple my ex and I swung with a couple of times, they had 3 or 4 kids (fairly young ones) and due to how hard it was to get a sitter wanted to swing at their house with the kids there (after the kids went to bed) that is something that has always made me feel uncomfortable. Maybe others with kids used to doing "things" with the kids "asleep" in the house wouldn't be bothered so much by that idea.

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We went to the club Saturday night and one of our friends showed up and I noticed she had a store tag hanging from her dress. When I pointed it out she was a bit embarrased and said that when they leave the house she is wearing her regular street clothes and she has to change into her sexy club clothes in the car on the way to the club. she does this because she doesn't want her teenage daughter to see her in her clubwear. So, one difference seems to be, having no kids at home, we don't have to change in the car.

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Maybe others with kids used to doing "things" with the kids "asleep" in the house wouldn't be bothered so much by that idea.

 

 

I'm very bothered by it. We just don't play with kids in the house, ours or anyone elses.

 

One set of friends we have, have a one year-old...he is constantly wanting to play when the baby is home and asleep...her and I just look at him :rollseyes and try and explain to him why this is wrong...he just doesn't get it, he figures the baby's asleep so what's the problem.

 

Swinging with kids still living at home is a major bummer. We do have very special swinger friends that visit while the kids are home, but they are all very respectful and swinging is never brought up at all, which is the way I feel it should be.

 

We envy those who have empty nests and those without children...less than four years and we will join your ranks. Until then, we'll continue to pay for hotel rooms for playtime.

 

 

Teresa

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Just a quick thought...I am wondering if swingers without children have a different experience swinging than those with children. I don't mean better or worse...I just mean different. Thoughts???

 

I think that swingers who dont have children have the ability to make last minute decisions. We have 3 children, so everything, including playing, has to be planned in advance with us.

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I'm very bothered by it. We just don't play with kids in the house, ours or anyone elses.

 

One set of friends we have, have a one year-old...he is constantly wanting to play when the baby is home and asleep...her and I just look at him :rollseyes and try and explain to him why this is wrong...he just doesn't get it, he figures the baby's asleep so what's the problem.

We have some play friends that have kids and they do the same thing. As soon as the kids are in bed they want to play. We just cannot do this either, we explained to them that we just wouldn't be comfortable playing with the kids in the house, even if they were asleep.

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Yep, kids make things interesting, that's for sure. Young ones you have to worry about sitters; older ones you have to worry about dressing in the car. We've not been to clubs, but I try to dress sexy when meeting folks ... and I wonder sometimes what the kids must think of my "boobie shirts." :) at some point, I expect my son to say "that is totally embarrassing mom!" Kids don't want their mom's to be a MILF. HAHAHA

 

With that said, I agree with Teresa about envying those with more freedom. I don't want my son to grow up any faster than he already is, but then again, I do smile when I think of the days when I don't have to worry about wearing clothes around the house ....

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I'm guessing the only ones who really know are those who have swung both with and without children!

 

I know for us we find it easier to swing with those who don't have children (or who's children are old enough to not be an issue). Since we don't have kids it's easy for us to get out and do things without having to plan months in advance to get sitters, etc.

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I'm guessing the only ones who really know are those who have swung both with and without children!

 

I know for us we find it easier to swing with those who don't have children (or who's children are old enough to not be an issue). Since we don't have kids it's easy for us to get out and do things without having to plan months in advance to get sitters, etc.

 

Oh, I dunno about planning months in advance...

 

We get away each weekend without the kids, who are still young. They go to their dads house (I'm the stepparent, they're here all week long). We can also arrange time to do things during the week, we just have to make sure the kids are with grandma or auntie :)

 

What I think it *does* do is prioritize. Since we have limited playtimes, we select couples that we're really interested in, rather than just meeting everyone. It also makes dances and other get-togethers very nice, since we can meet everyone all at once.

 

And we never, ever play at the house. It's our little 'nest of safety'. We don't have a problem playing at other folks' houses though, so long as there's no kids there :p

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With a high-schooler running in and out on a whim, we've only played at home once when she was on vacation with her dad.... otherwise... plans to stay at dad's can change on a dime and the next thing you know there's a key in the door... We've already had to sprint for the bedroom more than once when Miss "coitus interruptus" :) put the key in the lock....just glad it was just two of us... easier to explain coming out of the bedroom disheveled than if there were 3 or 4. :eek:

 

On the other hand, expecting them to come home, and then get word she's staying the night at dad's can be a bit of "Doh!!! Ya mean we coulda.... Brickin' Brackin' sassafrassin'"

 

Never having any kids of my own... this was all a big adjustment. I think it would be easier to plan a sitter from a scheduling standpoint... so for now, hotels or OPH's (other people's homes) will have to do. :)

 

B

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Well we think it helps us.. We have a place to play... nothing but our schedules to plan around... Some of the swingers with kids feel that they must make the most of every night out. And we try to live that way of course but we don't feel the need to push. SOME couples with kids do.

 

 

We won't play with kids in the house... or rather we have not. We can see that changing with one couple who just had a little one.

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We have one left at home.. wish he would plan his weekends away at his friends more than a day or two in advance! As it is, we're lucky to be able to rope in some friends at short notice to come over and play in our hot tub!

 

As for playing anywhere with kids in the house, that's a line I'll never cross. Some things just don't feel right.

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Some of the swingers with kids feel that they must make the most of every night out. And we try to live that way of course but we don't feel the need to push. SOME couples with kids do.

 

 

 

We have seen this as well with some couples who have kids. When they go out they intend to play and if you aren't ready/willing to play (for any reason) they get an attitude. I think not having kids gives us more opportunities to really enjoy all that the lifestyle has to offer without the feeling that we have to hookup EVERY time we meetup.

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We have seen this as well with some couples who have kids. When they go out they intend to play and if you aren't ready/willing to play (for any reason) they get an attitude. I think not having kids gives us more opportunities to really enjoy all that the lifestyle has to offer without the feeling that we have to hookup EVERY time we meetup.

 

We've seen this attitude as well. While I can wrap my mind around the concept, Mr. Sweet and I just don't feel the need to "go for broke" every time we go out. We're just happy to have a night out together without the kids.

 

 

 

=)

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We've seen this attitude as well. While I can wrap my mind around the concept, Mr. Sweet and I just don't feel the need to "go for broke" every time we go out. We're just happy to have a night out together without the kids.

 

 

 

=)

Don't know that we've run into that attitude yet, but just having a evening (or whole night) out alone is a treat... with no family nearby, it can sometimes be a challenge to stay out very late!

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We've seen this attitude as well. While I can wrap my mind around the concept, Mr. Sweet and I just don't feel the need to "go for broke" every time we go out. We're just happy to have a night out together without the kids.

 

 

 

=)

 

We have kids, and we definitely do not view our nights out that way, but I do understand the post. I'm sure there are many that do.

 

On the other hand, we've chatted with couples with no kids that wanted to meet, and when we offered options, including the next evening, they went quiet. They wanted to meet THAT night, or not at all. I recall her last message reading something like "I need 2 dicks NOW". We're not sorry we missed out on that meeting.

 

So while having kids does require a bit more planning at times, I think there are plenty of couples out there that want to make the most of every night out. To each their own, but we enjoy movies, dinner, and just hanging out as much as we enjoy going to the club. Anything beyond that just makes it a bonus evening.

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We've played with some couples at the club who have kids and we inevitably break out the 'so, will we see you again here soon?' and often the answer is, oh, we get out once or twice a month since we have kids and a babysitter costs and etc.. Sucks for them sometimes, I think.

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I'm guessing the only ones who really know are those who have swung both with and without children!

 

That would be us.

 

Starting swinging without kids, now we have kids.

 

The only difference is that we now have a responsibility that goes beyond our own hedonism. Babysitting is hard to get for us. Now we have friends we played with way back when who didn't have kids and now do like us and they have far less issues since they have a ready easy over night babysitter.

 

But here is the thing for us. Prior to having kids we found couples with kids a turn off, now that we have them, we prefer couples with kids. The reason isn't just that they understand that we can't just jet off at a moments notice, but that having kids CHANGES you, at least if you are a good parent. Until you have kids you just can't understand what its like, how it changes your life, how it changes your outlook on life. It would be like trying to explain the color blue to a blind man.

 

So for us swinging with kids is harder, but so are a lot of activities in terms of logistics and timing. Its also such a distant second in what matters to us, that it doesn't bother us either. Unfortunately I don't think its the kind of thing you can really understand until you are there yourself.

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We have kids and can only invite couples over when they are gone over the weekend. That’s about the only difference that we can see. Now if we want to have sex I just make a batch of non-Newtonian fluid and put the kids in the kitchen. It keeps them occupied for hours. For some reason they love that stuff.

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Would a neurotic Beagle count? this dog acts more like a kid than a dog. I'm not kidding!

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