Thoughts about this Life Style.....shared experiences....direction

How have your experiences changed you...for better or worse over time. Both in and out of LS activities. Have you found nirvana? Have you found your niche?

We did not get involved in the Life Style out of boredom or the fear of missing out.....or trying to save our relationship. To us...sexually it was just the next step. Another adventure. What committed couples with a sense and belief that sex does not define us or our relationship but meant as a fun, adventurous adult Extracurricular Activity meant to be shared.....and enjoyed by consenting adults.

When you have a group of close friends, male or female, couples and singles from all walks of life, ages, experiences that not only share great times and adventures together but also intimate adventures......well that can’t be bottled and sold. It is....extraordinary.

This is where we come from.

Having been here a while and enjoying the posts, questions and stories I thought I might be able to lend some direction for those thinking, fantasizing or organizing certain activities in their LS adventure.

I do not think of myself as an expert or all knowing.....just the male half of a committed couple.....married for 41 years....the Queen and I both being very sexually active with each other....very sharing with our intimate friends...adventurous. We have always been best friends first, lovers second, Mom and Dad....grand Parents etc etc....oh yeah and married

The LS means many things to many different people. There is not a singular correct all encompassing definition. Other than possibly.....not considered main stream. And there are other Life Styles: racing, camping, traveling, foodies, art. Etc etc. so just cause someone says they are in the Life Style.....do not assume it means this life style...including sex play.

That said our Life Style....this here on this board includes male/female voyeurs to virtual porn stars. From those that only play with their SO/spouse (enjoying the atmosphere and energy from a party or event) to playing in groups and multiples. So many variances and direction that it boggles the mind......

I want to help by using our, rather extensive experiences setting up, participating in not only our own group activities but also setting up the same for others, event driven and party theme group events. We are very active in our area. We have been active for over 20 years. We hosted three swing groups with parties over eight of those years. Many parties, private parties, events.....experiences.

Again, not to mean our way is righteous, or the only or correct way. Just this is our take away from what worked for us and later for events, themed parties....and private organized experiences we set up for friends and group members.

Also keep in mind I, we, all our close intimate friends as well as most those in the same LS play groups we belong to all follow/believe/practice the Life Style....swinging, swapping...sharing partners is for women, about women, for women to explore themselves and is in many cases controlled by women.......they are in the drivers seat. This is their time to explore.....with out label or judgement. Conflict is avoided by communication....all levels....with everyone. An openness.

Men, behave well. Be gentlemanly. Bring your A game. And listen to and provide what the women....especially your SO/wife or play partner wants and you will also experience your wildest dreams.

Cause without the women......all you have.....is a room full of hairy naked men with nothing to do.

Open discussion, time and experience and all that is meant to happen will.

What are your thoughts?

....swinging, swapping...sharing partners is for women, about women, for women to explore themselves and is in many cases controlled by women.......they are in the drivers seat. This is their time to explore.....with out label or judgement.

 

Cause without the women......all you have.....is a room full of hairy naked men with nothing to do.

Although we started with my wife playing first, her getting sexually reacquainted with a couple of exes, and I would have been okay if it had only gone that far, it's about both of us now. I like playing with other women.

How have your experiences changed you...for better or worse over time. Both in and out of LS activities. Have you found nirvana? Have you found your niche?

It hasn't changed us other than we have sex with other people and enjoy it a lot. Our niche is playing with a closed group of couples, as couples, threesomes, and even alone. It would be great to be able to maybe do a random hookup now and then, but we've all agreed that for safety, we don't.

We agree. On occasion we will click meeting someone or couple that is new. But for most our playing and closer relationships we have several that are our regular playmates. It allows for more freedom....intimacy and a social open relationship as well.

We started with MFM after another couple had approached us with the idea of swinging. We weren’t even married yet, still dating. The woman of the other couple stated that she was bi and that was beyond anything I had imagined. So, conceptually, my bf and I came to the agreement that if we were to ever swing, the starting point would be MFM. So, I liked it, had another two weeks later and after 4 or so, got comfortable enough to go to a local couples club and added swaps to our repertoire. I guese biggest thing I have noticed is the ease at which we move forward now. I mean, the first one, we talked about for a few months before it happened, spent hours at the bar talking with the guy before we got down to business. And then esp at the couples club, first time we talked and flirted in the meet and greet bar so long that everyone else went to the play room and we had to play just the two of us. Before long, you’re suddenly moving to a play room after a 20 minute chat with someone.

. But for most our playing and closer relationships we have several that are our regular playmates. It allows for more freedom....intimacy and a social open relationship as well.

We, meaning those in our poly family of three women and two men, are not typical even among those here on the Swingers Board. We are a very close poly family with children that have played very little outside of our family. For instance, I have had only five male sex partners in my life.

I think the lesson here is to think things through and only follow convention, whether it be that of society, religion or your parents when it suits you. All of those are against the way I have arranged my sexual and family life, but having found like-minded partners I am happier, more satisfied and getting more out of life than most other people. In just about every other way I am a model of conformity, not because I want to conform, but because it fits me.

After over 20 years of marriage and a waning sex drive, we decided to try swinging. We weren't particularly concerned with the moral side, but definitely concerned with the health side. We had decided if it was worth doing, then we wanted to enjoy "everything"...meaning bare and intimate.

We met a couple on line, then socially 3 times to find out if they would be compatible with both of us and to develop "trust." They had been swinging over 20 years and with over 40 other couples; but all long term and all married couples. Thus, after 3 social meetings we felt as reasonably "safe" as we could expect to be (from STDs) and asked them to be our first. At the time they were with just one other couple and had been with them all 20 of their swinging years so we weren't worried about that couple.

Our first time was in separate rooms and it turned out to be wonderful. So wonderful in fact, that the girls made a date for the very next week. We have seen them every week ever since. She was only my 7th woman ever and he was only my wife's 3d man ever. And it was bare, lasted about 3 hours, and we were all "spent."

Once you do it, you want more of it. I fear we have become addicted to it, but that is a good problem.